Anne Posted April 4, 1999 Share Posted April 4, 1999 Hi. There is this guy that I have been seeing for a year now and we were going to get married in june of this year, but due to our jobs we have been seprated since november of last year by about 2000 miles. Because of our situation and the fact that i have always had a problem with managing my fnacial responsibilities he backed out of the wedding and the relationship altogether. Recently we have worked through a lot of things and seen each other on a short visit. I know that he still loves me completely and i now acknowledge that i am crazy in love with him. We had a wonderful visit for the most part, but he says he needs space to be own his own for awhile...not to be with other people but to get money together and just be an adult for awhile. He has never really been on his own and now he wants to be a single adult before he becomes a married one. I understand tat but it is hard...it would be easier if we could atleast be in the same state. There are things that I have to change,...not just because he needs them to change but because to be the person that i want to be they have to change. The problem is that being so far away from him,...how can he see that I am making the progress that i want t make...Ican show him at christmas but that will only be for a week visit...I don't know what to do right now,...but i am working on it...if anyonehas been through this then lend an ear and send your opinion...I know without a doubt that this would b wonderful if we can just overcome tese obsticles...thanks...Anne Link to post Share on other sites
Thiamine Posted April 7, 1999 Share Posted April 7, 1999 Hi. There is this guy that I have been seeing for a year now and we were going to get married in june of this year, but due to our jobs we have been seprated since november of last year by about 2000 miles. Because of our situation and the fact that i have always had a problem with managing my fnacial responsibilities he backed out of the wedding and the relationship altogether. Recently we have worked through a lot of things and seen each other on a short visit. I know that he still loves me completely and i now acknowledge that i am crazy in love with him. We had a wonderful visit for the most part, but he says he needs space to be own his own for awhile...not to be with other people but to get money together and just be an adult for awhile. He has never really been on his own and now he wants to be a single adult before he becomes a married one. I understand tat but it is hard...it would be easier if we could atleast be in the same state. There are things that I have to change,...not just because he needs them to change but because to be the person that i want to be they have to change. The problem is that being so far away from him,...how can he see that I am making the progress that i want t make...Ican show him at christmas but that will only be for a week visit...I don't know what to do right now,...but i am working on it...if anyonehas been through this then lend an ear and send your opinion...I know without a doubt that this would b wonderful if we can just overcome tese obsticles...thanks...Anne Why are you so far apart in the first place? Where did you meet eachother? I totally understand where the both of you are coming from. It's normal for him to get a little freaked out and want to be "an adult for awhile" because marriage is a very big commitment. I'm sure your relationship would be working out a heck of a lot better if you live within an 100 mile proximity of each other What kind of progress and changes in yourself are you talking about? Don't change yourself just because he wants you to, it's not healthy. What I would recommend is just to see eachother as much as possible; long distance relationships are incredibly hard--mine, unfortunately, did not work out. Is it possible for you to find jobs in the same state? What do you plan do/work when you get married? Can you do that now and not have as much moving to do when you tie the knot? Best wishes to you Love, Allison Link to post Share on other sites
bob Posted April 12, 1999 Share Posted April 12, 1999 being direct as i am. he has his eye on someone esle. at this time his testing the waters. if he was ready once to marry distance, money should have become an issue to keep you apart. marrage says for richer or poorer. tell him if he wants to play somewhere esle for a while that's okay...however, also let him know that your moving on you might not be available when he's ready for YOU. Why are you so far apart in the first place? Where did you meet eachother? I totally understand where the both of you are coming from. It's normal for him to get a little freaked out and want to be "an adult for awhile" because marriage is a very big commitment. I'm sure your relationship would be working out a heck of a lot better if you live within an 100 mile proximity of each other What kind of progress and changes in yourself are you talking about? Don't change yourself just because he wants you to, it's not healthy. What I would recommend is just to see eachother as much as possible; long distance relationships are incredibly hard--mine, unfortunately, did not work out. Is it possible for you to find jobs in the same state? What do you plan do/work when you get married? Can you do that now and not have as much moving to do when you tie the knot? Best wishes to you Love, Allison Link to post Share on other sites
Anne Posted April 16, 1999 Share Posted April 16, 1999 I suppose I should have been a little more specific...we are both military and stationed at different bases and we will be for about another year...The love is there...but there is a real fear of the long distance relationship...not being able to see each other when we want to...the situation that I am trying to change is regarding the handling of my finaces...trying to save money instead of spending it...that is what is going on,...sorry for not being more specific in my first entry...Anne Link to post Share on other sites
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