thefooloftheyear Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I find older men often have this view yes, I agree. This is why I don't date them Younger men are way less conservative and much more relaxed. More on my wavelength for sure. I dunno...Ive never been that way at ANY age....And I am not that conservative, then or now..Why does common courtesy and "gentlemanly" behavior when it comes to this topic seem like some sort of taboo? Have fun... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I am confused about the direction this thread is taking. Micro-penis aside... Yes, of course women should feel free to sleep with whomever they want whenever they want. But I was under the assumption that Leigh's opening post was about women who were unhappy about being left after having sex. The way I see it, if you have sex with a guy early on, great, but surely you KNOW that there is a pretty high likelihood of him not hanging around after? And if this were, to you, a BAD thing (in that it upsets you), then you owe it to yourself to wait. On the other hand, if you do not mind not seeing him again and are just wanting some quick fun yourself, then by all means go ahead. So yes, I agree with the OP's conclusion: If you feel you would regret having had sex with him if he were to leave after, don't. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I am confused about the direction this thread is taking. Micro-penis aside... Yes, of course women should feel free to sleep with whomever they want whenever they want. But I was under the assumption that Leigh's opening post was about women who were unhappy about being left after having sex. The way I see it, if you have sex with a guy early on, great, but surely you KNOW that there is a pretty high likelihood of him not hanging around after? And if this were, to you, a BAD thing (in that it upsets you), then you owe it to yourself to wait. On the other hand, if you do not mind not seeing him again and are just wanting some quick fun yourself, then by all means go ahead. So yes, I agree with the OP's conclusion: If you feel you would regret having had sex with him if he were to leave after, don't. Precisely... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rosedl Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 This is really sad. It is really pathetic that we are still at these high school levels of game playing. A guy seeks sex, gets it, and then, dumps a woman because it was too easy. Talk about a guy only interested in conquest. In reality, if I am super attracted to a guy and we have GREAT chemistry, I wouldn't mind having sex on a first date. If a guy assumed it was my status quo, he would be really wrong. I have done that like three times in all my 42 years, and one became a decade long partner. However, I realize that the gender stereotypes and male/female pursuit are part of the game, so I now am planning on abstaining from early sex and let him chase me and work for it. I can totally enjoy the build, so its fine but I do not like playing games. I think we have a LOT of growing up to do around this subject. Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Never had this happen. In most cases I've been pretty careful not to let it happen before I felt secure, and in the few cases where I did slip up, I suppose I got lucky. If anything there were a couple of cases where I kind of lost interest after sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Antenna_Of_Destiny Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 Exclusivity is never implied. Link to post Share on other sites
RedRobin Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 (edited) I don't blame women when a man lies. It's not all on the woman to be a mind reader and bring a polygraph to every date. Doing that certainly makes dating a chore to always question everything a guy says. Although, since I make it clear that I'm looking for a relationship, I expect that just about all guys will SAY that is what they are looking for too, even if they have their fingers crossed behind their back, or if they are a bit skeptical on the notion for whatever reason. I'm always the one evaluating whether I want one with HIM... and so probably less likely to get swayed by empty promises. I've never been dumped after sex. I HAVE had some close calls with guys who were trying to sell me the moon and stars... but upon more digging, turned out to be less than authentic... If she finds it keeps happening, then yes, she needs to address some issues because she is clearly attracting bad men... On top of that, I don't think early sex is an indicator of anything except one or both didn't feel like getting themselves off that particular day. Usually, it puts the cart before the horse in terms of intimacy and can lead to a lot of misunderstandings... even among two thoughtful people who have the best of intentions. Best not to go there, IMO. Not to mention that I don't want to be with a man who easily separates sex and emotions... Also don't want to sleep with a man and find out later he's got a history of sleeping around, a history of substance abuse, a criminal record, a history of violence... There are WAY more of these kinds of guys around here than any other place I've lived. It's pretty gross. Even if the guy is sincere about wanting a relationship... I wouldn't want to be associated with a guy who had this history. Better to wait. Edited March 14, 2014 by RedRobin Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 I have to give a caveat prior to my post that I have only had sex with two men in my life and married both of them. My thoughts, if I want to make sure that someone is into me and there is a better certainty of a future the more time built in prior to sex will weed out those that are not interested a long term relationship. I have trusted my gut to tell me if someone was worthwhile especially with my first time and wanted to make sure I was in love prior to doing so. So while I started dating at 16 I didn't have sex until 18 and married him 7 years later. With my second person I had sex earlier but I wasn't expecting a long term relationship. So, based on that, I understood that having sex with him was not with the expectation of something more. It turned out to be more and I married him but my expectations were aligned with the details/timeline. There is no way to completely protect one's self against the attempted mistreatment by others but there are ways to minimize the risk. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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