a_heart_apart Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I was supposed to see my SO in 20 days. I've been counting down since 75. We are 3,000 miles away, so it is never a cheap plane ticket. Anyway, I will be staying from March 28th-April 6th, including my 21st birthday on April 5th. He just found out that his job will not allow him to have more than the Monday & Tuesday that I'm there along with the Saturday (my B-day) and Sunday (the day I leave) off. When he works, he works from 4pm-12:30am. That means I would have to spend most of my trip alone, waiting for him to get home. I got so upset when he told me, and Im not quite sure what to do. I told him I wasnt coming, because I refuse to miss all that work and travel that far just to see him for 3 days. I dont know if I should go, or if there's anything we can do. Any input? p.s. If I dont see him then, I wount be able to see him until maybe August, but probably not until Christmas. (we both go to school in the fall.) Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 You'll never understand what could be til you go. So please do. You are far too young to understand what some of us folks wouldn't give to have one day with a loved one.....there are 24 hrs in a day... You decide how important the relationship is or isnt. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 Welcome to LS a_heart_apart. Sorry to hear your trip isn't working out as planned. I'm surprised, if you booked your ticket a while ago and have been counting down for so long, that he hadn't already arranged his time off work - and why you would book it if you didn't know for sure he could spend the time with you? Are his employers being difficult or did he 'forget' to ask until now? It may help you to answer the following questions: 1. How important is it to you to spend your birthday with him? 2. Would you be able to cancel your trip without losing the money? 3. Is your relationship strong enough to survive if you have to wait until August or even Christmas? Would you want to wait that long? 4. Does he live in a place where you will be able to entertain yourself in the evening when he's at work or would you just be sitting around at his place waiting? 4. Would he be able to manage on a little less sleep while you're there? 5. Is there any way he can bargain with his employer for one more day, or perhaps work the Sunday after you've gone in exchange for a day during the week? If he doesn't start work until 4.30pm, that does still give you a large chunk of time together in the middle of the day. Even if he has to leave for work at 3.30, doesn't get home until 1.30am and needs to sleep for eight hours, you would still have six hours a day to spend together. Would that be better than not seeing him at all? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I would still go, I think it's better than nothing, at least you'd have your birthday with him. My partner is usually only able to get about half the time off when I go to stay with him, but we make the most of evenings and weekends and I keep myself busy until he gets back, rather than twiddling my thumbs until he gets home. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author a_heart_apart Posted March 7, 2014 Author Share Posted March 7, 2014 Thanks everyone for all of your input! In response to some things, he did submit the request a while ago, but didn't want to submit for more time off so soon after he came to see me and had to take some off then. I work 2 jobs, and was able to request time off far in advance because I worked while he was here, but I worked 3am-10am, just to have more time with him. That is not an option for him. I believe we would survive that long, it's been 2.5 years together, and we're very far apart, so we usually manage. I bought a non-refundable ticket, so I wouldn't be able to get my money back. Also, I said the same thing about bargaining for one more day off. That would at least make it a little more tolerable. What we ultimately decided to do was for me to still come. My mom gave most of the same advice all of you gave, and told me to try and make the best of the time we do have together. He lives near San Francisco, so there is plenty for me to find to do, I just wasnt looking forward to doing things by myself. We are still young, (both 20, I'll be 21 soon), so one day I'll look back and laugh at how upset I got. Thanks again for all of your help! Good luck in all of your LDRs! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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