What's up with that??

[Collin]

I've got a problem..Last month my fiance and my best bud were hanging out and they kissed once. Talked to my best bud and he said it was mutual but he was very sorry and that he didn't want to lose me as a friend.. Fiance told me he kissed her, didn't want me to lose my best friend.His wife is mad at my woman, and doesn't want anything to do with her. I'm stuck in the middle. I'm pisssed I would not do that to my friend.I'm pissed at everybody. Don't know if I should leave or what..

 

advice needed

[unnamed]

Two sides of the story, I think this could be declared as infidelity.

 

I would be more concerned about your fiance than your friend right now...I mean, that is low what she did.

 

What kind of committment does she have to you if she cheats on you? Very little, if that.

 

If you feel your relationship is worth leaving, then do so. Do not hold back by any means. But, if you feel like you can get over this, then stay in it, and definetely talk to your fiance.

[Tony T]

Well, you didn't say a lot about the circumstances. Had they been drinking a lot?

 

I know you're pissed and I can understand that. But I don't think this should be blown out of proportion. I'm sure all the parties feel very bad about this and, a few months from now, you will have regreted ending friendships over something like this.

 

Technically, a simple kiss, mutual or not, is just an expression of affection and respect. It is not the preamble to a mad lovemaking session. Hell, my sister kisses her cat...and it makes me sick. A simple kiss is pretty harmless, although mature human beings don't run back to their partners and talk all about it, and wallow it in...that's what's so weird. The fact that they had to talk about it either makes them very ignorant or very guilty feeling.

 

I really don't think they would have said anything if they had something going. I think it just happened at a particular moment and they were embarassed and maybe regretted it...but they really shouldn't. I also think your friend's wife will be watching your bud VERY closely from this point on.

 

Give yourself some credit for having good judgement. If it was just something simple, don't worry about it. Your lady may feel some affection for this guy as a friend but nothing more. Talk it out with her. This isn't even a misdemeanor offense unless there is more of a conspiracy involved. That is what you have to find out.

 

If it was just a harmless thing, forget about it and continue your friendships. I think, as you have described it, this is a whole lot about nothing.

 

Keep your buddy but let him know if he wants to show your girl an expression of affection, a nice hug will be sufficient. Don't lose a friendship over something like this if that's all it was. In time your friend's wife will re-establish a friendship with your lady. She just needs a little time.

 

Good luck on your engagement and wedding. Your bud may have just decided to kiss the bride ahead of time. And, at your wedding, be prepared for lots of guys to follow.

 

Please write back and let us know why it was necessary for these two to even tell anybody about it. It just seems like a can of worms opened for no reason at all.