"I'll think about it"

[organizedchaos]

I'm just going to say this and I truly don't mean any offense by it, but it must be said. If you are trying to meet women online, I hope you're not using that avatar that you're using on this forum because whatever it is -- I don't even know if it's you or something from a movie -- it is scary and it looks like it's supposed to be your picture. It's enough to ensure no one who sees it goes out with you because even if it's from a movie, it looks like this scary mean looking person is someone you like, which is also scary.

 

So change your avatar to one where you're fully clothed and smiling.

 

That's just from a tv show. And I'm pretty sure he'd use actual photos of himself in OLD.

 

regardless, I'd still never ask more than once. That's putting her at a higher level of worthiness than you.

[irc333]

What was funny was, a lot of my female friends who just met her were like, "You should ask her out!!"

 

I had planned to and did, and when they asked for a follow-up, I said I did ask her out and they asked, "Well....what did she say?"

 

I said, "She said she'll think about it"

 

The funny part was, they said something like, "Well, that's something at least. I suppose."

 

One even said, "Well, you shouldn't just cold turkey ask her out" That I should get her to find an interest in something that we could do together, some kind of activity she would enjoy. The example my female friend/wing woman gave to me was , let's say she enjoys hockey games (which she does), and in passing I mention how I plan on going to a hockey game with a male buddy of mine...Then you move on to the next topic in the conversation...then she'll wonder, with her being such a big hockey fan, why I didn't ask her to join me for the game.

 

(Note: The male hockey body doesn't exist, it's just the set up)

 

Later, depending on her body language, mention how me and my friend didn't get tickets yet and ask her if she'd like to come. Then if she says yes, then my "buddy" won't be able to attend...then "viola!" a date is born

 

 

 

When I was in sales, I learned that the "I'll think about it" response was an indication that the prospect had objections to what you were trying to sell him. The way to overcome that was to ask the prospect if there was something they needed to know about the product that you didn't tell them.

 

The next question to ask was, "Is it the price? Is it the colour?", or some other question that tries to get the prospect to open up and disclose their

real objection. If you couldn't find or clear the objection after three tries, you had no chance of closing the sale. Sometimes getting the sale meant

simply offering them an alternative product that had more features or better quality than the first product that was offered.

 

Unfortunately dating doesn't work that way.

 

When "I'll think about it" comes from a woman, it means 'no' and she's just saying that because she thinks it will take the sting out of being rejected (and so she can feel better about herself).

 

On top of that, the "I'll think about it" really does mean she has an objection to your request for a date. It could be your method of approach, or it could be that she just doesn't find you attractive, or both. And if you do ask why she turned you down, you will likely get an evasive answer.

Women generally don't have the guts to be honest with men because they don't like any interaction that doesn't leave them in total control of the exchange.

[MidwestUSA]

What was funny was, a lot of my female friends who just met her were like, "You should ask her out!!"

 

I had planned to and did, and when they asked for a follow-up, I said I did ask her out and they asked, "Well....what did she say?"

 

I said, "She said she'll think about it"

 

The funny part was, they said something like, "Well, that's something at least. I suppose."

 

One even said, "Well, you shouldn't just cold turkey ask her out" That I should get her to find an interest in something that we could do together, some kind of activity she would enjoy. The example my female friend/wing woman gave to me was , let's say she enjoys hockey games (which she does), and in passing I mention how I plan on going to a hockey game with a male buddy of mine...Then you move on to the next topic in the conversation...then she'll wonder, with her being such a big hockey fan, why I didn't ask her to join me for the game.

 

(Note: The male hockey body doesn't exist, it's just the set up)

 

Later, depending on her body language, mention how me and my friend didn't get tickets yet and ask her if she'd like to come. Then if she says yes, then my "buddy" won't be able to attend...then "viola!" a date is born

 

You should probably drop your wing woman. Why do you want someone 'on your side' who makes everything so much harder? That hurt my head just reading it

[organizedchaos]

What was funny was, a lot of my female friends who just met her were like, "You should ask her out!!"

 

I had planned to and did, and when they asked for a follow-up, I said I did ask her out and they asked, "Well....what did she say?"

 

I said, "She said she'll think about it"

 

The funny part was, they said something like, "Well, that's something at least. I suppose."

 

One even said, "Well, you shouldn't just cold turkey ask her out" That I should get her to find an interest in something that we could do together, some kind of activity she would enjoy. The example my female friend/wing woman gave to me was , let's say she enjoys hockey games (which she does), and in passing I mention how I plan on going to a hockey game with a male buddy of mine...Then you move on to the next topic in the conversation...then she'll wonder, with her being such a big hockey fan, why I didn't ask her to join me for the game.

 

(Note: The male hockey body doesn't exist, it's just the set up)

 

Later, depending on her body language, mention how me and my friend didn't get tickets yet and ask her if she'd like to come. Then if she says yes, then my "buddy" won't be able to attend...then "viola!" a date is born

 

Oy. Worst advice ever. Too much work. Ask. She says anything other then "yes" move on. Any woman who is attracted to do doesn't need to think it over. And if she finally does give in after your constant pleading or asking, it's out of pity or boredom.

[FitChick]

irc333, I give you credit for trying. And trying again. That's more than most of the guys on here do.

 

Remember my theory of dating:

There is no one perfect but there is someone perfect for YOU. You have an unknown number of women you have to ask out before you meet her. The faster you ask those women out and cast them aside (or be cast aside) the faster you will meet Ms. Right.

[topaMAXX]

I met this woman in real time...had talked with her for quite a bit, got her # and we got to talking about certain venues in the area like restaurants, parks to go walking, etc.

 

That qued me into asking her out.

 

She said, "I'll think about it" and then proceeded to ask me of other places in the location I tend to enjoy.

 

We talked a bit more and she proceeded to say she had to run off and run some errands.

 

Now, since she told me she'll "Think about it" will this que me to ask her out again in the future or wait for her to ask me out?

 

I disagree with the posters here.

 

You may get this one by being persistent, depending on tons of other factors that we really can't evaluate online.

 

Some relevant questions: how do you know her? How does she act around you generally?

 

For the record, I've dated women that rejected me up to 4 times before agreeing to go out with me. And these women ended up being REALLY into me. The reasons they shot me down were never why I thought (I found out later).

 

It's up to you if you want to put in the effort. But I think it's certainly possible.

[MissBee]

Thing is though, in situations like this, I'll just continue to ask her out until she goes from "I'll think about it" to a "Yes".

 

Perhaps she's still on the fence about it?

 

And if she never does, how long do you plan on keeping it up?

 

I agree with carhill.

 

Not that it has NEVER happened where a man wore a woman down and it all worked out, but I'll think about it certainly means at this time she has no interest in going on a date or she'd say yes. I mean, I guess I have no interest in dating a man on the fence about me so if I asked a man out and his response was he'd think about it I wouldn't bother about it again.

 

You can probably ask her again once more but if she again says no, don't ask again.Pestering someone into going out with you seems a bit much IMO.

[irc333]

 

For the record, I've dated women that rejected me up to 4 times before agreeing to go out with me. And these women ended up being REALLY into me. The reasons they shot me down were never why I thought (I found out later).

.

 

What DID you find out? What did they tell you?

 

REason I ask is because I heard from a male friend of mine that some women, after he had given up after giving them one phone call to ask them out, and them not returning his calls....he "gave up"...apparently they told him that he gave up too easily and that women gauge a man's geniune's interest in a woman if had had actually called her more than once to ask her out.

 

Basically, call her once/ask her out the first time and if he doesn't do it again, she'll consider him not really interested or genuine enough to want to date her...some women assume men just want them for a one-night stand if he gives up so easily.

[topaMAXX]

What DID you find out? What did they tell you?

 

REason I ask is because I heard from a male friend of mine that some women, after he had given up after giving them one phone call to ask them out, and them not returning his calls....he "gave up"...apparently they told him that he gave up too easily and that women gauge a man's geniune's interest in a woman if had had actually called her more than once to ask her out.

 

Basically, call her once/ask her out the first time and if he doesn't do it again, she'll consider him not really interested or genuine enough to want to date her...some women assume men just want them for a one-night stand if he gives up so easily.

 

Pretty much what you wrote.

 

Many women have MASSIVE trust issues with men. I have some trust issues with women, but nowhere near as bad.

 

For example, one woman told me that I come off as a player (not the first time I heard this) because of my looks, mannerisms, and popularity. She actually interpreted my friendliness as me trying to get with a ton of women at one time (which wasn't what was happening).

 

Another woman that I dated actually witnessed her father murder her mother. This one was TOUGH to get and rejected me a bunch of times. Understandably, she had some trust issues. But I never would have known unless I pursued her. She was kind of mean about it at first, but once I cracked her shell, she became a real sweetheart. We only broke up because I moved across the country for the military and she couldn't come because of school obligations. We're still friends though.

 

You never really know what a person is going through, ya know?

[irc333]

Yeah, I have a male friend of mine that has quite a few female friends through a cultural Meetup group....he thinks of them more as family or sisters if anything.

 

A recent woman he tried to date saw a couple of pics with him and a gaggle of women in a group photo...him being the ONLY male among the women...he knew these ladies for years, didn't date them or sleep with them or anything of the kind.

 

The woman he started to date saw this and she took issue with this or she questioned it.

 

 

 

Pretty much what you wrote.

 

Many women have MASSIVE trust issues with men. I have some trust issues with women, but nowhere near as bad.

 

For example, one woman told me that I come off as a player (not the first time I heard this) because of my looks, mannerisms, and popularity. She actually interpreted my friendliness as me trying to get with a ton of women at one time (which wasn't what was happening).

 

Another woman that I dated actually witnessed her father murder her mother. This one was TOUGH to get and rejected me a bunch of times. Understandably, she had some trust issues. But I never would have known unless I pursued her. She was kind of mean about it at first, but once I cracked her shell, she became a real sweetheart. We only broke up because I moved across the country for the military and she couldn't come because of school obligations. We're still friends though.

 

You never really know what a person is going through, ya know?

[ZipperZapper]

Yeah, I have a male friend of mine that has quite a few female friends through a cultural Meetup group....he thinks of them more as family or sisters if anything.

 

A recent woman he tried to date saw a couple of pics with him and a gaggle of women in a group photo...him being the ONLY male among the women...he knew these ladies for years, didn't date them or sleep with them or anything of the kind.

 

The woman he started to date saw this and she took issue with this or she questioned it.

 

Women seem to be very hypersensitive about this sort of thing and prone to misintepret it. I had a very similar situation. I'd met a woman online and we'd had one initial meetup followed by a casual dinner date later.

 

She wanted to come down to my city to see me, but couldn't make it as she was held over at work. So she asked if we could meet the next day. I told her I couldn't make it as I was attending a meeting of a singles group I belong to. It was a birthday celebration intended for me and two other guys in the group. She wasn't sure if she wanted to join me. I was sitting on the fence about inviting her, because I was just getting to know her and didn't feel ready to introduce her to my friends.

 

Right then and there, she started getting needlessly suspicious, asking if anyone I'd dated before was going to be there. I told her that yes there was, but I didn't set up the group party, nor did I invite her specifically. Members of the group decide whether or not they will attend a given event. I also explained to her that the event had been planned weeks in advance, and it wouldn't be fair to the group for me not to attend considering that they were, after all, celebrating my birthday and I'd said yes, I would attend.

 

I tried to reassure her that I had no feelings for or ongoing connection with the woman in the group that I'd dated briefly. No dice. She said 'bye' and closed the chat session.

 

Just as well, because she was a bit of a trainwreck anyway and moving way too fast for my liking... it was like she wanted to marry me within the next few weeks. Clearly very desperate.