Clarkysmith12 Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Hi just looking for any advice, I split from my wife over a year ago as I caught her cheating, I have stayed away from her but still see her now and again when I go to my friends house or to get son from school, lately she keeps calling the police out to me to try and get me charged with stalking, police have said it is a waste off there time but as she is saying she is scared off me I get taken to the cells for the night, have never hit or hurt her in anyway. just don't understand why she is doing this. I just want to get on with my life. any ideas why she would do this, I have started my divorce also and I gave her hse and 90% off stuff in hse and she still wants more. sol thinks she trying to drag divorce out so have sadi just to give her what she wants lol Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 (edited) Hi just looking for any advice, I split from my wife over a year ago as I caught her cheating, I have stayed away from her but still see her now and again when I go to my friends house or to get son from school, lately she keeps calling the police out to me to try and get me charged with stalking, police have said it is a waste off there time but as she is saying she is scared off me I get taken to the cells for the night, have never hit or hurt her in anyway. just don't understand why she is doing this. I just want to get on with my life. any ideas why she would do this, I have started my divorce also and I gave her hse and 90% off stuff in hse and she still wants more. sol thinks she trying to drag divorce out so have sadi just to give her what she wants lol The best thing you can do is NEVER show her that you are being affected by her antics in ANY way. When she sees you react or suffer, it only feeds her drive to do it more. She had you arrested? Edited March 9, 2014 by M30USA 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clarkysmith12 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 Yep she had me arrested 3 times, for crap but once a woman says they are scared of u the police have to arrest you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
laddie Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 She's probably bitter and unhappy with how things have turned out for her and blames you for everything. Even though she was the one who cheated, it's easier to blame you than for her to look in the mirror. Best thing to do as someone already mentioned is try and not get angry at her, it just feeds the beast. Indifference is your friend although it must be hard getting arrested! She will be happy getting a reaction and creating drama. I'm in the same boat, although it's nowhere near as severe. My ex loves trying to get the boot in and gets angry over the smallest thing when I pick up or drop off my child. To me it's an indication that she's not happy with her life. Indifference is the way to go to protect yourself from your ex.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clarkysmith12 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 tbh I dont hate her or love her I just want to be able to get on with my life. I have to drive all the back roads to go see my friend so as not to get arrested again, its not nice in the cells but this seems to be her latest game, prev when I went to school plays or that she would chat up guys in front off me but I just looked the other way, she likes her games, my friend thinks she doing this cause she as lost me, her fault lol Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 her mother is coaching her? just my two cents 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clarkysmith12 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 well thanks for the advice, just cant understand why someone would be so nasty, I was a good husband more like a door mat lol, Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Clarky, just out of curiosity, did you ever do ANYTHING physical to her AT ALL? Like even pushing? What about restraining her during outbursts she's had? Many women view defensive restraining as abuse. Just trying to figure things out here. My ex attacked me in my sleep and she crashed into my leg as I was startled. She told the police I kicked her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Milked Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 lately she keeps calling the police out to me to try and get me charged with stalking Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 My ex has threatened to call the police on me for sending her a text message merely requesting that she not interfere with my phonecalls to my children. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Milked Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 My ex has threatened to call the police on me for sending her a text message merely requesting that she not interfere with my phonecalls to my children. I need to ask if some PC Cop showed up @ THE DOOR? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clarkysmith12 Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 I sometimes tried to restrain her but that made her worse, she tried to put a fag out on my hand, found the best way was to take the handle of the door and take the metal bar out so she couldn't get in the room. Tbh I think she just gets off on causing drama, will just ignore her. She even goes into wee mans school and shouts at them about how bad I am lol Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Stay completely away from her. If you know she is going to be someplace, don't go. Keep this up for at least 6 months to a year. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Carry a voice activated recorder on you at all times. She does this because she knows she screwed up and that your life will be better than hers. They always affair down, she will never have anyone as good as you again and she knows this. Don't allow her to drag you into her game, ignore her. Wait until she finds out your dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clarkysmith12 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 @Aliveagain so u think she will get a lot worse if I was to date, prob best just staying single as it is bad already. Think she knows she lost a good man, I was a mug paid all the bills, was never allowed out but she went out all the time. I would run about after her and her family and friends fixing pc and DIY, just want it all to stop, my friend thinks she wants me back as she is putting to much energy into hating me lol Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 my friend thinks she wants me back as she is putting to much energy into hating me lol She got a lousy way of showing you she wants you back. If it was me I would get a lawyer real quick and see what he can do to keep her from doing more damage and divorce her ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 She got a lousy way of showing you she wants you back. If it was me I would get a lawyer real quick and see what he can do to keep her from doing more damage and divorce her ASAP. Some women believe that a relationship which is passionate equates to constant fighting and intense emotions. I'm sorry but this will give you an early death. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clarkysmith12 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 Already got a sol, and have son 50/50. Divorce started last week, so hopefully be divorced in 12 weeks Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 My favourite topic......so she cheated on you and now she is the one being nasty? I think you are encouraging this behaviour and perhaps can't get over her yet? 1. File papers in court and serve her...i.e you want to be the applicant 2. prepare a separation agreement, using jurisprudence to draft your agreement and present it to her. It should cover everything from holidays, birthdays, Child support access and custody 3. Do not call or text your ex...all communication should be by email so you have records 4. exchanges for your son should take place at school / daycare....its the best solution to avoid the other person. You are only there on days that are yours 5. belongings get divided 50/50 6. close all joint accounts and credit cards 7. Google "The List" created for fathers going through divorce and follow everything on there to the T STOP THE MADNESS BEFORE IT GETS WORSE..... Hi just looking for any advice, I split from my wife over a year ago as I caught her cheating, I have stayed away from her but still see her now and again when I go to my friends house or to get son from school, lately she keeps calling the police out to me to try and get me charged with stalking, police have said it is a waste off there time but as she is saying she is scared off me I get taken to the cells for the night, have never hit or hurt her in anyway. just don't understand why she is doing this. I just want to get on with my life. any ideas why she would do this, I have started my divorce also and I gave her hse and 90% off stuff in hse and she still wants more. sol thinks she trying to drag divorce out so have sadi just to give her what she wants lol Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 My favourite topic......so she cheated on you and now she is the one being nasty? I think you are encouraging this behaviour and perhaps can't get over her yet? 1. File papers in court and serve her...i.e you want to be the applicant 2. prepare a separation agreement, using jurisprudence to draft your agreement and present it to her. It should cover everything from holidays, birthdays, Child support access and custody 3. Do not call or text your ex...all communication should be by email so you have records 4. exchanges for your son should take place at school / daycare....its the best solution to avoid the other person. You are only there on days that are yours 5. belongings get divided 50/50 6. close all joint accounts and credit cards 7. Google "The List" created for fathers going through divorce and follow everything on there to the T STOP THE MADNESS BEFORE IT GETS WORSE..... I read "the list". Some of it I agree with. But some of it I think is unwise. I particularly disagree with how it basically tells you to throw your integrity and character out the window in order to win custody of your children. Sure, this might help you win custody, but you'll lose your soul. I didn't participate in any of these animalistic tactics. I didn't get primary custody. But you know what? I wouldn't have changed a thing. I can still walk around knowing that, as my kids' father, I didn't sell my character or become a scumbag "for their sake". They may see me less, but at least they see a man with integrity. That's all I need to say. And in less than 12 years, they'll be on their own anyway, where custody doesn't matter. Is 12 years worth selling your soul? I think not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clarkysmith12 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 The custody is all sorted, I have no communication with her as I sent 4 emails about son and she had me arrested, I try to stay away from her but if I go to my friends house I drive near where she lives and if she sees me she calls the cops. Think she just a nasty person Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Don't go to your friends house then. Have your friend meet you at your place or somewhere else. Stay out of that neighborhood. Don't give her any ammunition. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clarkysmith12 Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 She is claiming she is so scared off me and that she dosnt want me near her, just had a letter from her sol, saying as she cant drive she wants me to pick up son from her hse on his birthday, spoke to sol and going to use this in a cival case against her. Sol just said to stay away she will need to drop him off if she wants to spend his birthday with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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