melell Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I was just reading something interesting that said self respect is a result of pride, and pride is like ego. So having too much pride/self respect is just like going around acting and thinking as if you are better than others, or know more than them. Self respect and pride are words that get thrown around here quite a bit, especially with breakup advice. I notice most of us that have moved on, when we talk about previous partners, we kind of have this theory about what happened and why, and we stick to it as if it is concrete/fact. The perspective might have helped us to forgive, forget and move on, but surely it will have some effect on how we view things in the future? I am wondering if this is detrimental to personal growth? I get that is important to protect ourselves when we are emotionally fragile, but long term could this just lead to some warped, blanketed assumptions? I know that personally I moved on pretty quickly, and my theory of the situation was the reason for that (& nc). I was proud, self respecting, and wouldn't bow to emotions- and my thinking about the whole thing was definitely leaning towards my favor. But now that I am over it all and have moved on (new relationship), I don't want any residual self-righteousness to interfere with other relationships. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I'm having a tiny bit of trouble connecting the dots in your post about pride and coping with breakups but I *think I get the gist. It sounds like you're saying that people rationalize breakups and past failed relationships as the other person's fault and while some do, this isn't always the case. "When we talk about previous partners, we kind of have this theory about what happened and why, and we stick to it as if it is concrete/fact. The perspective might have helped us to forgive, forget and move on, but surely it will have some effect on how we view things in the future?" Anyway, pride is one thing but hubris is another. Self respect and pride may be related but they're not mutually exclusive. Sure, excessively prideful people may lay the blame all at the other party's feet (because their pride won't allow them to ever find themselves at fault) and I'm always wary of people who decry all their exes were crazy, manipulative, liars, etc because it IS a the mark of a hubristic individual. But,thankfully, not everyone is like that. I've seen plenty of people readily acknowledge their role in a relationship's demise. Sure it can be detrimental to personal growth but if you're open to reviewing and perhaps revising your own opinions of the hows and whys of past relationships AND admit (if there was cause) that you played a role in that, there's no detriment there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mea_M Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Well I'm going to have to agree that having to much pride is just like shouting out to the world "I'm better then everyone else".Its far more appealing to me at least to see a humble person. Someone who may hold a sense if pride in their heart but is secure enough with themselves to not feel the need to shout out every proud moment in life. I'm not saying pride is totally bad. Too much of it a sign of insecurity is how I see it. Mea :-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I think too many people are confusing self-respect, pride and ego. These are three really different things that don't necessarily go together... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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