contact with MIL?

[d0nnivain]

DH has a mom & a step mom. So I have 2 MILs.

 

They are both wonderful women & I genuinely like them both.

 

DH & I have been married for over 5 years. I'm still struggling with contact with my MILs. I call them usually about one a month or once every 2 months just to say hi, to find out what's going on etc. I'm friends with both of them on social media but none of us are social media junkies.

 

I have always been aware that I call them. They never call me. They don't call their biological kids either so it may just be them.

 

Everyone credits me with being the glue who has pulled their whole family closer. When I do call my MILs we have long (1 hour +) newsy, friendly conversations but I worry because they don't initiate.

 

Am I borrowing trouble or should I just accept that they don't reach out? I'm reluctant to brooch the subject with them. DH would tell me not to worry about it.

 

What's LS's take?

[melell]

Honestly I think that it is excellent that you reach out, regardless of how welcomed it is.

 

I would highly doubt that they actively decide to not call you, especially given you talk for a decent amount of time, perhaps they expect your call anyway?

 

It is very rare for my family to call me, but they all expect me to call them. It has just developed that way- I was always the one who called.

With my grandparents especially, if I don't call them they will notice, and mention it to others, but they won't actually call me-they will wait silently. I really do think the process just develops naturally one way or another for no real reason.

 

Honestly, don't worry about it. I am sure they appreciate it.

[d0nnivain]

I just don't want to be perceived as pushy or overstep my bounds.

[Tayla]

We, as adults, set the stage for relations. I applaud your gestures. So long as they are genuine and meant for the family, keep at it. They will remember your kindness down the road.

 

I come from the other side where my sons are so active with their own careers and family , they assume that i am just fine on my own. Yet a phone call or a text message would do wonders ... Such is life as age comes about.

[mrs rubble]

What a lovely daughter in law you are.

Just accept that you do the calling and they obviously love it or you wouldn't be on the phone for an hour + every time.

 

I'd love to have something to talk to my partner's mother and step-mother about! I struggle to relate to either of them.

[Radu]

DH has a mom & a step mom. So I have 2 MILs.

 

They are both wonderful women & I genuinely like them both.

 

DH & I have been married for over 5 years. I'm still struggling with contact with my MILs. I call them usually about one a month or once every 2 months just to say hi, to find out what's going on etc. I'm friends with both of them on social media but none of us are social media junkies.

 

I have always been aware that I call them. They never call me. They don't call their biological kids either so it may just be them.

 

Everyone credits me with being the glue who has pulled their whole family closer. When I do call my MILs we have long (1 hour +) newsy, friendly conversations but I worry because they don't initiate.

 

Am I borrowing trouble or should I just accept that they don't reach out? I'm reluctant to brooch the subject with them. DH would tell me not to worry about it.

 

What's LS's take?

 

I think it's them, and i don't think they dislike you.

 

I'm similar, i love my family [sister and mother] but overall i am the least likely one to initiate this type of contact, even though i really want to hear from them.

Part of it is because to me it feels 'pushy', but a bigger part is probably related to the fact that i am shy, introvert, and had some level of anxiety when it came to interactions with other ppl.

 

Again, i think they like you, because otherwise they would not turn into chatterboxes with you on the phone, and you would not have a good relationship with them.