SleepyLea Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Hi, I'm new to the boards, but I'm in some real need of support right now. So my husband and I had the talk over the weekend that we do not make each other happy anymore and to go our separate ways. He says he is unhappy with the marriage, but is happy with where we are right now, I am the ambitious one, and he doesn't want to change. We have all we ever wanted when we were younger, but my priorities have changed over the years. I want a nicer house, I want to go out and have fun, enjoy each others company, take holidays, live life. He is happy working his job and pottering around the house. I don't go out as I feel guilty that I have left him home alone (which if he enjoys, why do I feel guilty?!) and I usually end up leaving early anyway. He says he doesn't have ambitions, and that he is content to live life this way. We had a few hours apart to let the dust settle, (probably not long enough apart) and my mind started racing. Why are we breaking up? Why are we not fighting for this anymore? Are we not worth fighting for? Bear in mind I brought up the conversation that things were not right, I am shocked that I had a turn around moment. So I sat him down and expressed my concerns at how easily we threw in the towel and gave up. We discussed what we could do to change things. It came out that he doesn't want to go to therapy, together or alone. And that things may improve if he spent more time with his friends, and me finding a new hobby. I agreed to this as a last ditch attempt at keeping our marriage afloat. However, now I think I am looking back and thinking WTF happened?! I have to change in order for this to work, yet he carries on as is, and was it not this behaviour that caused me to feel this way in the first place? I don know what to feel, think or do right now. I feel we should both be in this together, but it seems like he checked out. If I am the only one making changes, will this work, or will I just end up regretting the past however many months/years? Is what I am going through normal? Link to post Share on other sites
dumped2013 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Need more info. Ages, how long married, kids? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleepyLea Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 (edited) early 30's, No kids, 12 years together, 3 years married. We had the same discussion about 6 months ago, we decided that we would both try to make things work, but here we are again Edit: Neither he or I have had an affair, thought I would throw that out there. Edited March 10, 2014 by SleepyLea Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Are you two still in love with each other? It is clear that over the years you two have grown in different directions. Unfortunately that happens with some couples. Thank goodness you don't have kids which would make your decision much harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SleepyLea Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 I love him, but I don't love us. Does that sound weird? He is a lovely man, would stand by me through a lot of things, well apart from our marriage. I think your right, we have grown apart. I want us to grow together, but he doesn't want the same things as me. Hmm, I think I realise it's me that changed Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts