Maintaining LDR

[ukmatt]

Hi,

 

I am new to the forum and would like to ask advise on how to keep my girlfriend, who will be going overseas to China for 6 months, interested in our relationship.

 

We have a strong loving relationship and have been together for 2 years in the UK and lived together for 6 months. However we are students and her course has finished so due to stupid Visa requirements she is off back to China and will return in August when wee move to london to start new courses and jobs.

 

I know about webcams and telephone calls (only 1p per minute !!) emails cards etc but need to know more.

 

I always keep a "little black book" with ideas to do or gifts for her i know she likes and restaurants etc however now she is going to China I feel empty and so is the book.

 

I thought about setting up a timetable - when to call or email and when to send packages of things that remind her of me or things from uk i know she misses. But need to fill up this timetable !!!!!!!!!

 

One idea i had was to give her an empty photo albulm when she leaves and send her a photo of an important place (to us) where someting happened between us every week with a story or something written on the back.

 

This kind of thing would lead 20 or 30 weeks or so into the future and hopefully would have a prolonging effect on our relationship.

 

However i need more ideas like this and would be very gratefull to the members of LoveShack for racking their brains !!!

 

Cheers;

 

Matt from UK

[andreautick]

Matt

 

You seem so thoughtful! Wow, if every girl in an LDR should be so lucky. I've been in LDRs before, but never a distance that long:). Be careful not ot be too thoughtful or fret too much, it will not only drive you crazy, but it will seem like you are insecure, which isn't a good thing at all.

 

I think your ideas are great, and I'd go full throttle with them! I think making a timetable is a bit overkill, perhaps just have a few things you know you do everyday...like chat or email or phone or two of those together. If I were you, I'd also focus less on things from the past (memories, etc) than things for the future. In my opinion, that'd make the time fly by faster. Maybe work diligently over the distance to figure out ways to decorate the new appartment you'll have when you move, or the logistics of that, make lists of the things you want ot do together when she returns. Also, you can learn about China through her, maybe ask her to send you a daily "culture shock!" update, about how different things are, you can learn a lot! She'll like your interest too, I bet. You can have a lot of fun with care packages, and you can even make them sexy, just as you can your emails (tell her the things you can't wait to do to her!),and it could add a whole new dimension to things, if you don't already do things like that.

 

Anyway, I think you have great ideas, and any input I have is just thoughts. Good luck, and it sounds like you have a great thing going:)

 

Andrea

[ukmatt]

Cheers Andrea for the ideas, quite interesting especially the Culture Shock idea.

 

Also did not realise the harm I might do by sending memories !!!!

 

Update: first week was hell to get through - could not even fill out each day. But now heat is on on my Accounting course and we speak on the phone for an hour every day.

 

Its difficult learning to live as a single again - may not sound difficult but after 6 months living together - believe me it is !!!

 

Our talks are mainly about the future and planning for our next term together. The issue of career development linked to marriage cropped up (scary !!!).

 

Im sure that keeping so busy will help the time fly but I miss her so much. She tells me the same thing on the phone and I try my best to cheer her up. Does not help at the moment that new flatmate has his girlfriend from france over and they get drunk and have loud sex every night !!!! but i say good for them !!! Go on son !!!