LadyOfHope Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I couldn't quite put my wandering finger on it. Aimlessly, I imagined up ways that would excuse my bf's perplexing behavior. Both my family and friends alike unanimously came to an unfortunate conclusion shortly after discussing my predicament with them. What conclusion would you draw up yourselves? Is he cheating, or is he truly divorced like he states he is? Here are some facts: 1) Dating for 4.5 months 2) I've never been to his house. He won't tell me where he lives (only that he's in town) 3) He has a daughter and been separated for 11 months (supposedly) 4) He won't tell me the details of his separation 5) We have never talked on the phone (He doesn't like talking, only texting) 6) He became upset and angry when I bought him a Christmas and Valentines Day gift. He hasn't acknowledged those dates with me - unfortunately 7) He is only available 1-2 days a week to get together 8) Our relationship is sexually based, not romantically based as most relationships are made of. He seems uncommited 9) He won't tell me the name of his company he runs 10) Dates done at least an hour out of town My family and friends believe he is still married or at least has a girlfriend. This would explain why he hasn't invited me over, accepted telephone calls, accepted gifts, given any details about his business name, or be affectionate as one would in any given relationship (hold hands in public, etc) I might be his bootycall. I have friends helping me decipher who this fellow truly is. Hopefully the truth will be revealed (if any) and he will be exposed; otherwise, I have found myself in an unlucky dead end relationship. This week will prove to be interesting as our next date is this coming Thursday. What are your thoughts about this fella? I will assuredly end the relationship when we meet next; however, if he is cheating, his other half has a heartfelt right to know. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Hmmmm he sound's dodgy as. I don't know if you can do what I did here in NZ when I wanted to find out some truths about a man I'd been seeing. I had his car registration traced. It cost me $2.50 to discover the car he was driving belonged to a female 350km away. I then visited the police with the lisence plate, who said the car hadn't been reported stolen. Next time I saw him I asked who the woman was.....I never heard from him again...but several months later the police contacted me to say he'd been arrested for $65000 worth of fraud. Trust your instincts. If you can't do a vehicle rego search, try figuring out the business...you must have some clue about what line of work it is. Get nosy, ask around. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 wow. You need to get your butt into therapy ASAP; you must have serious self esteem issues since you have let a guy so blatantly use you for sex. Sorry but it is beyond me that you actually "thought' you had something with him. No person who has a normal level of self respect and self pride would let a guy act this way towards them. I am sure with therapy you will not stand for this sort of treatment. Your story is very sad, you deserve so much better than a guy who.... hides you from every one that is connected to him and who gets mad when you get him valentines day gifts........ If a guy is into you he will want you to meet his friends and family unless there is some rare cultural thing or personality clash....... A guy who is serious about you won't hide things from you. Please know that it is utterly BIZARRE for a guy to not tell you the name of the business he owns or where he lives. VERY very off. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 ^^^^ First off we don't know if he's using her for sex second we're making assumptions here let's find out and do a little more digging first... Or just put them on the phone and ask him? Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Who cares at this point. The real question is why would YOU allow someone to treat you this way and keep seeing them??? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 You're not even up to the status of a booty call or FWB. FWBs are at least friends and know where each other lives and works. You are just a gal he has managed to completely bamboozle into bed under false pretenses. At BEST he is married and his wife thinks they are a normal, happy couple and he is just cheating with some gal he found that was naive enough to buy off on his lies. That's the best case scenario you can hope for here. It's likely much more dark and sinister. You need to wise up real fast and start taking responsibility for yourself before you find yourself chained up in someone's homemade dungeon or buried in their crawlspace. Some of the other posters are correct in that you have some self-esteem and self worth issues that need immediate addressing. That you are allowing yourself to be used and taken advantage of like this is very concerning. My advice is that you go underground yourself and disappear from his radar and get completely away from him. Change your phone, delete and block him on social media, move to a different place and get a different job if you have to. He may turn stalker. At best this guy is a lying, cheating adulterer, at worst he is an actual sociopath and dangerous. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 What is there to decipher with this relationship? The guy uses you like a kleenex and you wonder what his intentions are? Come on, you can't be this naive and, if you are, listen to your family. Link to post Share on other sites
mitchell Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 How is the sex for you? I hope at least he is leaving you sexually satisfied. Is he a good lover? Does he make sure you have your own orgasm? Is that all you want? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 You let a man treat you like this then you'll be the first in line complaining men are all p*gs. Yes he is in a relationship with someone else, not likely but 100% sure. Don't you see him laughing to your face. Link to post Share on other sites
willmarranch Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 get one of your friends to follow him, sounds pretty fishy Link to post Share on other sites
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