sarahsmom Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 I have a previous thread but I want a male opinion... Why would a man not admit his attraction to a person if confronted and deny it saying it is a "very good friendship" .. both are married, it is obvious as lines have been crossed. Comments made, emotional conversations.. going out of the way to call and say "I care about you", you look really good tonight" etc... Why not be able to admit it, confront it move on faithfully to your marriage... why say "I can't, I can't" and deny the situation, when simply being confronted about the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Because the guy's a pu$$y. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Originally posted by tanbark813 Because the guy's a pu$$y. I second that. Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Because the guy's a pu$$y. I think that's a really stupid comment/opinion. The guy probably has feeling for her but doesn't want to ruin his marrage. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Originally posted by VASH THE STAMPEDE The guy probably has feeling for her but doesn't want to ruin his marrage. If the OP is correct about lines having been crossed, he already ruined it. At this point he's just acting spineless. Hence my comment. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 self-deception and denial Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Originally posted by VASH THE STAMPEDE I think that's a really stupid comment/opinion. The guy probably has feeling for her but doesn't want to ruin his marrage. Then why doesn't he just tell her that?.....that's why I think he's a pu$$. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sarahsmom Posted January 25, 2005 Author Share Posted January 25, 2005 So a strong man would admit to it. and be able to move on.... or do married men go out of their way to call and say "I care about you", you look great, I am excited to see you, to women they view as "a great friend only" considering we only met 4 mths ago???? and what is the "I can't, I can't" Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Originally posted by sarahsmom I have a previous thread but I want a male opinion... Why would a man not admit his attraction to a person if confronted and deny it saying it is a "very good friendship" .. both are married, it is obvious as lines have been crossed. Comments made, emotional conversations.. going out of the way to call and say "I care about you", you look really good tonight" etc... Why not be able to admit it, confront it move on faithfully to your marriage... why say "I can't, I can't" and deny the situation, when simply being confronted about the situation? Sometimes emotional affairs are blinding. They are both so much into each other on an emotional level that they have looked beyond physical attraction or at least no considered it......yet. It's almost a "safe zone" for them. Meaning, since it's not physical then it's not cheating. Of course, we all know that emotional affairs are a problem and is considered cheating. Ask him if he treats his "very good" male friends the same way. Does he compliment them. Tells them that he misses them or say he cares about them. Friends are are suppose to be treated neutraly. Male friends should not be treated diffrently then female friends. Another good question is. If he was single and she was single, would he date her? If his answer is yes, maybe, not sure, have to think about it then you know he looks at her as more then a friend. As well as being attracted to her. If he is still not willing to answer you these question then.........he's a pu$$y. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Maybe he doesn't want to admit it to himself. I don't doubt something may have happened, but he's trying to drop it and move on. Which is the right thing to do. Something else to think about. The "defining moment" that happens in every emotional affair is when both parties ADMIT that there is something going on...that's the point where it is indisputable that what is going on is outside the bounds of what they should be doing. Sounds to me like he doesn't want to cross that line. My advice to you stands. You both know that what you've gotten into is wrong. You need to drop it and let it go. Sounds like that's what he wants too. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Something else to think about. The "defining moment" that happens in every emotional affair is when both parties ADMIT that there is something going on...that's the point where it is indisputable that what is going on is outside the bounds of what they should be doing. Sounds to me like he doesn't want to cross that line. My advice to you stands. You both know that what you've gotten into is wrong. You need to drop it and let it go. Sounds like that's what he wants too. Perfect advice by Owl once again. You need to just let it go. YOU know the answer to your question, seems though you want him to say, Yes, I find you extremely attractive, and yes I would love to be with you but I CAN'T. What difference will it make now? It is NOT gonna happen...You know it, he knows it so now you need to close that book and put it on the shelf. The more you think about it, you're gonna drive yourself nuts over it...And pursue him more. Then you'll either piss him off because he just isn't going to say what you want him to say or HE WILL say it and make a play for you! Careful what you ask for....Right now it is borderline...One more step, you're both gonna be f*cked. Literally! Link to post Share on other sites
sylviaguardian Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by sarahsmom Why would a man not admit his attraction to a person if confronted and deny it saying it is a "very good friendship" .. both are married, it is obvious as lines have been crossed. Comments made, emotional conversations.. going out of the way to call and say "I care about you", you look really good tonight" etc... Why not be able to admit it, confront it move on faithfully to your marriage... why say "I can't, I can't" and deny the situation, when simply being confronted about the situation? Perhaps the reason why he doesn't want to admit to amything to you is because he is MARRIED and committed to another person? Perhaps he is not as unhappy in his marriage as you obviously are in yours? Or he was just flirting and doesn't want to lead you on any further? Either way, do the right thing and let him do the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
emopunk Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Maybe I've missed a fundamental concept in this conversation, or perhaps its just that I adhere to a dead code. But if a man or woman is married, that's it. End of story. You do not pursue a married person. They've made a decision, and marriage (while no longer the case it seems) is intended to be a one-time event. If a woman is actively involved with someone else, a man should not cross those borders. And the same holds true for women. You can be friends to be sure, but you do not nurture feelings that transcend friendship. Otherwise, you're encouraging the other person to cheat. Now in this situation, which happens frequently, yes... I agree with tanbark. Once the lines have been crossed, once the the affairs "climax" has been reached, it's time to fess up. Whether or not feelings exist for the other party afterwards, the truth must be stated. ... besides, the guy evidently can't control his balls so he might as well be a man about the whole situation, they're active enough already. Link to post Share on other sites
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