OldRover Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Looking for success stories where people have solved their alcohol problem. I have a good friend that is a binge drinker. They drink heavily for a few days and then stay sober for a few days. They have no desire to quit, but it's really ruining their life, and to the point that their health and life is in jeopardy. They like to blame someone else for their issues, and do so when confronted with every excuse in the book. Anyone have any luck getting people like this to stop? Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I've counseled people who have addiction problems. My father also had an alcohol addiction, but got treatment for it and was alcohol free for many years before he died of other causes. By the time a person comes for counseling, they have usually hit rock bottom and are motivated to change. Helping them to overcome addictions involves identifying what motivates them to change. Helping them to process whatever issues from their past are leading them to use alcohol as a coping mechanism for difficulties in life. Helping them to develop more healthy coping skills, and develop a plan of action for when they are tempted to drink. Help them to be connected with a support group that they can use to keep their motivation to stay sober at a good level, such as AA. Counseling usually also deals with any issues at home that are contributing to the desire to drink, or any stress factors. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 As far as your friend, if he is not motivated to overcome his addiction, there is not much you can do. You could try expressing your concern about how alcohol is negatively affecting his life, and talk specifically and in detail about the negative consequences you've noticed in his life, which he may be in denial about. Express your care and concern and offer to help him find treatment. You may also want to suggest he go to a few AA meetings, just to get some perspective, and offer to go with him, and have a place and time in mind so you can invite him to come and offer to go with him. Other than that, in addition to not enabling him to drink, that is all you can do, really. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 As far as your friend, if he is not motivated to overcome his addiction, there is not much you can do. You could try expressing your concern about how alcohol is negatively affecting his life, and talk specifically and in detail about the negative consequences you've noticed in his life, which he may be in denial about. Express your care and concern and offer to help him find treatment. You may also want to suggest he go to a few AA meetings, just to get some perspective, and offer to go with him, and have a place and time in mind so you can invite him to come and offer to go with him. Other than that, in addition to not enabling him to drink, that is all you can do, really. But when you stop enabling, even when you know you're caring and loving by doing so, they usually kick you out from their life... It's a shame. But indeed, they have to recognize their problem first. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 But when you stop enabling, even when you know you're caring and loving by doing so, they usually kick you out from their life... It's a shame. But indeed, they have to recognize their problem first. They may kick you out if you are no longer their "drinking buddy" or enabling their drinking, but it could also help them to realize that they need to change, and they may look to you for support when they are ready to stop drinking. I think one of the principles of the Alanon group is that the participant of Alanon learns to stop enabling the drinker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
melell Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I have spent a lot of time working with people in addiction. First and foremost, they have to want to stop. There are those that consistently battle, and try, then fail etc. they are part way there. There are others who don't try at all, or don't see reason enough to try. It is a long, long process for them. A lot is to be said for hitting rock bottom. Usually people who have binge patterns are more likely to sustain the lifestyle, and that can be more detrimental- where a narcotics addict might lose a lot and very quickly because of the habit they are more likely to seek help sooner, a binge drinker might keep a job, house, friends and what not, and continue the lifestyle for a lifetime. I have seen many people turn their lives around, and completely change there behaviors. It takes a lot of strength, and humility. I have to admit that the common factor with all of these people was a genuine desire to want an alternative life- they were very unhappy as a result of their addiction. If a person is not ready to admit that they have a problem, they won't seek help. The best possible thing that can be done is cease all rescuing behavior. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Success- From which perspective? The support system or the actual recovering addict? Both are viewpoints that make a difference in how to respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I had an ex who was a seriously heavy drinker and i did enable for a while. I had no idea what to do. She was normal in every way except she need a drink every day and more then one. It was a mess at the end. Link to post Share on other sites
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