silenoz Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 ...I just keep getting hurt. It's nearly 9 months since my ex girlfriend left me, we were going out for a year and a half. All of last summer I was miserable and alone, and nearly suicidal because I loved this girl so much. Then I met someone while on holiday last August, since meeting her I flew over to see her and see flew over here to see me. And I really started to fall for her, then my ex came back into my life looking for another chance, and because I love her I gave her that chance. Then she told me what she got up to during the summer, she slept with two guys. She left me devastated, and I still haven't gotten over it. She's the only girlfriend I've ever had. For the last few months I've been trying to decide wheter we can make things work or if it's too late, because I think too much has happened. And now she's working abroad until April. A few weeks ago I went back over to see this other girl and realised I really have feelings for her, but nothing happend, I'm still with my ex, but I know things will probably fall apart with her again. So when I came back from my visit I told the other girl how I felt... And now things are worse because she says although she likes me, nothing can happen between us because of the distance. So now I'm hurt again... It seems no matter what I do I keep getting hurt. All I've ever done is love these girls and yet I keep getting punished for feeling this way. There has to be some way to change this constant cycle of pain in my life, can someone help me? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Ugh.. Sorry you're feeling so bad right now.. Honestly, it is my opinion (and uh.. I'm pretty certain it's a fact somehow) that people often find or "seek out" people who by all outward appearance are available.. but not really.. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense so let me see if I can clarify.. The first girlfriend.. it was your first real "love" and it seems the 2 of you've been through a lot together ect.. at any rate she ended things and IMO it is/was probably because she wasn't/isn't ready to be in a committed relationship at this time in her life.. she wants to see what else is out there so to speak.. So you meet girl number 2.. but she doesn't live close to you.. (this is where my theory is coming in.. uh.. follow me for a moment) you hang out with her.. you like her.. develop some interest in her.. BUT at the same time you're not really ready to let go of the EXGF.. so in some ways this other girl is "safe" because she doesn't live near you.. so yeah.. there isn't a lot to put into the "relationship" there.. I guess I would say that the problem here is you're finding yourself hurt because you are drawn (if you will) to girls who are not really emotionally available for a relationship.. and in some ways I think girl number 2 was by design.. that she doesn't live close.. and you were not/are not really emotionally available at this time either.. you haven't had the time to let go of the EXGF and be okay with where things are there... Jezz.. I hope I made some sense here.. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Merin has some really good insights. Being aware of why we make certain (bad) choices is the first step in making better ones, and ending the 'cycle of pain.' Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama Merin has some really good insights. Being aware of why we make certain (bad) choices is the first step in making better ones, and ending the 'cycle of pain.' Thank God I've got Llama to translate for me.. That's what I was trying to say.. but uh yeah.. I've gone around my ass to get to my elbow.. doh! Listen to the Llama Link to post Share on other sites
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