Devastated 2014 Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 My wife has been a bit off with me for the last couple of months. Long silences, pulling away when I touch her etc. Looking at it now I think it stretches back further to last summer. Anyway, I tried to find out was up on Saturday morning and got the usual "nothing" with her staring into the distance to avoid the discussion. I had enough and went for a run in the car. When I got back that night I thought we could make up and asked again what was wrong. She let out that she didn't want to hurt me,, which I pressed her on and she admitted she doesn't love me anymore. Or, more the point, lives me more like a brother. We have been married 18 tears and have 2 kids, 8 and 10. She says there is no one else. Something similar happened about 3 tears ago when she got too close to my best friend and was suffering from deppression, she was talking with him about leaving me but swears that they did not have a relationship. I left that night and now staying with parents to give her time to think. I've made it clear I love her more than anything and want to try to work things out. She seems pretty determined that the feelings she once had just aren't there anymore. Devasted doesn't even come close to how I feel. My family are my entire life and I'm in pireces at the thought of losing her and not seeing my kids every day. She's not interested in trying counseling and I'm at a loss. I want to fight for my marriage but if I push too hard im either begging or putting pressure on her which doesn't let her open up. She truly loved me when we married. Pressure of family life has made it difficult to be as close as we once were. Where do I go from here? I'm having my world torn apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Milked Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Is she on any antidepressant? Is she watching hours upon hours of LifeTime cable series? You might just need to take her out once in a while and be a little spontaneous with something. And by taking her out, I mean just you two at a place she likes. Or maybe she got a new bo. Not sure where you are... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Milked Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 My best advice is to get to the gym and work it out. Then, be the best dad evah! Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Dude, look into it, there's someone else. All of the sudden in the past couple of months, doesn't want to touch you, becomes emotionally distant. And loves you but only like a brother (which is the same as ILYBINILWY speech). Always looking off in the distant as in deep thought. Dude, those are red flags. Something is going on. Do not accuse her, do not confront. Get some evidence. Buy two Voice Activated Recorders (VAR's) hide one in the house in a room where she does most of her talking on the phone and also running to the hardware store and getting some heavy duty Velcro and secure the other to the underside of the driver seat in her car. See who she's talking to. If you can get her phone, look through her text history and check to see if there's a number that you don't recognize in there that has been called a lot. write the number down and do a reverse look up on the computer and see who that number belongs to. Also check her contacts for girls names you might not immediately know. Look up those numbers as well. You may discover that Sally is actually Steve. You can also put a keylogger on the home computer and see who she's emailing and what she's posting on social media as well as IM's and PM conversations. She's telling you there's no one else. Time for you to confirm it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr.Milked Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Don't ever leave the house. If she wants to blow up the family, let her leave. IMHO 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shoppingdiva Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 I agree with Chi townD, there is a strong possibility there is someone else. Hire a private investigator just to make sure. Usually with us women, when we emotionally detach we are planting those feelings somewhere else. I could be wrong and for your sake I hope so, maybe she is just depressed, but you want to eliminate your biggest concerns first. Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 If she was talking a lot to your friend, it's likely she is involved in an emotional affair. A physical affair doesn't follow too far behind. Check out the pinned readings for divorce and separation. Michelle Langley has two books on Women's Infidelity. You might not be there yet, but you'll see exactly the roadmap she lays out and where your wife is at. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Something similar happened about 3 tears ago when she got too close to my best friend and was suffering from deppression, she was talking with him about leaving me but swears that they did not have a relationship. Bullsh*t. She had an Emotional Affair with him, at least - if not more. I believe she is giving you Trickle Truth and that more happened than she is letting on. If she got to the point of talking with HIM about leaving YOU, then she was definitely closer to him in some regard than she was to you. That said, if she won't enter counseling, then there is nothing you can do as you can't force someone to stay in a marriage that they don't want to stay in. But don't leave the house on any account! Hold your ground and fight for your marriage. I would advise getting a voice-activated recorder and put it in her car. Most people believe that cars are a place for private conversations and will have convos with others there. Also install a key-logger on her computer to see if she is communicating with someone. These decisions of hers did not occur in a vacuum. There is something there that caused her to do this but you have to dig to find out what it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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