What is your biggest dating challenge?

[validater]

What are the current limitations that you think are blocking you from finding your dream partner?

[validater]

For me personally, I think my weight is holding me back. I'm currently overweight and feel poorly about myself. If I had a great body, my confidence would be boosted and I'm sure I would be better on dates and picking up women.

[whirl3daway]

For me personally, I think my weight is holding me back. I'm currently overweight and feel poorly about myself. If I had a great body, my confidence would be boosted and I'm sure I would be better on dates and picking up women.

 

so your problem is actually lack of confidence?

[waiting4u]

- My age. I'm in my late 30's. I don't look it, but it makes online dating a nightmare because guys think I'm older than old and I only get hit on by men in their 40's and 50's.

 

-I don't go out much socially so I don't meet a lot of men.

 

-My education level - I'm a PhD and I think men are intimidated by it - or I'm just nerdy and talk weird because I'm over-educated.

 

-Anxiety. I would almost rather not date because I over-analyze everything.

 

-I'm too much of a romantic. I get attached too easily.

[Raena]

Ha! I could come up with a list of things that hold me back from dating...

- recently cheated on (5 months ago) so I have trust issues

- still somewhat overweight (need to lose another 20 pounds or so but I'm working on it)

- have a child and his father is a psychopath who is rarely around and causes drama when he is

- not a lot of free time

- I'm moody, snarky, sarcastic and generally hard to get to know on my worst days but too forgiving, accepting, sympathetic and needy on my good days

- am over 40 so yeah, I don't look perfect. My hair is greying, my teeth are stained from coffee and cigarettes (not really that noticeable to others but I see it)

 

 

Yeah, I think that pretty much sums it up. I'm so not ready to date or put myself out there to get hurt again anytime soon.

[Mo_Do]

Online dating is easier for all parties involved if they go over these things before meeting.

 

"Yeah, by the way I am.................."

 

I'd rather deal with no message response than to have an actual date backfire in my face.

[somedude81]

Getting women attracted to me where they'd want to go on a date with me.

 

I'm a 5'6 white guy, only average in looks and I'm a little awkward in conversation.

 

So women aren't physically attracted to me nor am I smooth. And as it so happens, I didn't get my first girlfriend till I was 31.

 

Now I'm 32 and I don't know long it will be till I get my second.

[HappyLove]

I don't fall for BS.

 

I hold firm and send people packing when they aren't honest or are wasting my time. (That'll keep you lonely but drama free)

 

I'm intimidating looks wise, was told this even from a woman that I'm very pretty and it's intimidating.

 

Not easily approachable.

 

I can be too giving and kind which also backfires.

 

I'm very independent which scares men sometimes. Because they aren't necessarily needed. But I'd like to fulfill that emotional need.

 

I'm blunt, say it like I mean it. I don't like to BS people.

 

I'm very shy when it comes to flirting and approaching men. Can't do it. Can't even do the bat your eye and look away thing.

Edited March 12, 2014 by HappyLove

[BradJacobs]

What are the current limitations that you think are blocking you from finding your dream partner?

Well I thought I was with my dream partner until recently ... so I'd say the limitation is gone since I dumped her.

 

So ... nothing? ....:laugh:

[Copelandsanity]

My biggest challenge is that I have no desire to date. I've had two dalliances with the opposite sex since my divorce, and I just didn't have the motivation to develop anything substantive or even something casual. Right now, I'm just focused on making money, working on an online side venture, qualifying for the marathon, learning how to swim, raising my tennis level, and enjoying my time alone.

[Disillusioned]

1. Laziness (though this has been less of a problem for me recently)

2. Unwillingness to date women I won't be attracted to before I can date the ones I'd like

3. Rejection of all these silly rules everyone else knows but me

4. Having the bad luck to be male, straight, and asexual

5. Spending a lot of my spare time in creative pursuits

[babycakees]

I always, always fall for the wrong guys. For some reason, I'm stuck in this mode where I think I need to try to help these guys turn into better people. I need to see the red flags from the beginning.

[fortyninethousand322]

What are the current limitations that you think are blocking you from finding your dream partner?

 

I suppose the fact that I live with my parents and don't make much money at my job are limitations. Another one would be my complete lack of experience in relationships and sex...

[waiting4u]

I'm starting to realize that I have this panic reaction to the idea of falling in love. It went really badly last time and it's like a weird flashback or something. When i start to really like someone, I have so much anxiety it's like I experience them leaving me before we even get together - tends to sabotage things a bit.

 

I do really well with dating people I don't like very much.

[waiting4u]

I have no idea why this was moved from the dating thread. Sometimes the mods decisions to move threads makes no sense to me. The "found my boyfriend's sex tape" thread is still over there. Perhaps it should be in the relationships forum?

 

I think these issues are really important to think about when you're dating.

[hotpotato]

Hmm let's see...

 

*I'm introverted. Guys can take this as me being not interested

*I do very well at entertaining myself, which makes finding a partner less urgent

*I have lots of hobbies, and I always have new interests to fill my time

*i try to hard when I'm in relationships

*I spend a lot of time alone, and when I'm in public I look busy

[regine_phalange]

Ha! Im not telling you

[Frank2thepoint]

My limitation is that I am exhausted from the chase. I'm exhausted from how one-sided the mating dance is, from pursuing, from reaching out (phone calls/text), and from the time wasted on multiple dates from a single woman only to have her run for her life when I tell her "I like you".

 

 

Ha! Im not telling you

 

That's not fair. Come on now my secretive Scorpio, do share.

[Teraskas]

My turn to humour everyone, now.

 

- Sweet / Thoughtful.

- Caring.

- Extremely honest. (Fun fact: I can NOT lie, because I start laughing when I'm looking in someone's eyes whilst knowing I'm talking bs lol. xD )

- Reliable. (But not doormat level)

- Intelligent.

- Patient.

- Sensitive.

- Calm.

- Sincere.

- Constantly running into non-commitment women.

- Encountering countless women who claim that there is 'no spark'.

- I always go to the fullest in relationships, and turns out this isn't appreciated.

- I'm confident and willing to stand my ground to defend my principles, morality, etc. even if this means getting on someone else's 'bad' side.

- I'm terrible at reading signals in general. xD

- I try NOT to get emotionally invested quickly as most women I meet immediately drop off the face off the earth.

- Getting rejected left and right because I don't look like I just got out of prison and have a laundry list of previously committed crimes.

- I only have 5 close friends, 4 out of which already have GFs, while the last stays at home and does nothing. (This isn't me btw. )

Thus going out encountering new people, and even women who are interested in something serious is a pain beyond belief.

 

Probably forgetting something atm, to which I'll return at a later date.

[Bantosm]

Lack of dating experience and insecurities.

[regine_phalange]

when I tell her "I like you".

that is too sweet.

 

But why do they run? All of them? Aren't they aware that you like them since you ask them out? Do they think you are friends, or is there something wrong with their perception?

 

That's not fair. Come on now my secretive Scorpio, do share.

 

Okay, but only because it's you.

 

Because I feel drained when it comes to relationships. I don't feel like dating and I'm not even looking. Too much grey matter and emotion wasted, I'd rather invest those somewhere else for now.

 

Because when I fall in love I feel sick on my stomach.

 

Because I can come off as disinterested when I am not (that has happened in the past many times).

 

Because many people have weird values nowdays.

[Frank2thepoint]

that is too sweet.

 

But why do they run? All of them? Aren't they aware that you like them since you ask them out? Do they think you are friends, or is there something wrong with their perception?

 

It is a mystery to me. Maybe there is something wrong with their perception, because I am definitely not vague about my interest. I show genuine interest in getting to know the woman and try to connect with them. I usually ask a woman out whom I've spoken to over a period of time, gotten a basic idea about her, such as if she is single and gauge if we have some chemistry. So you are probably correct my perceptive Scorpio that they just might only see me as a friend, which is kind of bad because then why agree to go out on a date or three with me? It's misleading.

 

Or it could be something simple that by revealing I like the woman, the mystery of the chase is gone.

 

 

 

Okay, but only because it's you.

 

Because I feel drained when it comes to relationships. I don't feel like dating and I'm not even looking. Too much grey matter and emotion wasted, I'd rather invest those somewhere else for now.

 

Because when I fall in love I feel sick on my stomach.

 

Because I can come off as disinterested when I am not (that has happened in the past many times).

 

Because many people have weird values nowdays.

 

You're very sweet for sharing my dear Scorpio

 

What's draining about relationships? Does the man not reciprocate emotionally?

 

What makes you come off disinterested? Lack of mystery or does the mystery dissolve quickly?

 

What weird values have you encountered? What values do you cherish?

[SpringBaby]

No I'm kidding, I meet guys often, I'm attracted to the athletic and/or professional guys and they are attracted to me but generally speaking, I hate their personalities. I wasted too much time thinking I could find one with a decent personality. And my religion plays a part, I would like a Christian guy but if ever there was a needle in a haystack...good Lord!

 

I go for the humble, mature, down-to-earth types (still fit and/or professional) but they are so wishy-washy and inconsistent. My ex was a good mix of the two except he wasn't as established as I need a guy to be. He was 11 years younger than me so I know that played a big part in it but I gave him a chance and am glad I did. I was beginning to think I was "aging out" of finding someone like him even though I haven't changed but my age did. And in some respects my age I think is becoming a factor because since I have been an adult, nearly every guy I have ever met has been younger than me. I don't really care about age but it tends to correspond with experience and being established in life. That's the turn-off for me for me with younger guys, especially being kind of accomplished myself. I met 2 older guys before and like them both but they weren't looking for anything serious, both were divorced, had kids and were pretty much done with relationships it seemed.

 

I just can't seem to find the right mix and I don't know where to look. I don't go out much because of my career and school and my friends have all moved out of state. I can't bear to go on dating sites again, I find them to be meat-markets. I met someone I like recently but he's turning out to be a wishy-washy one lol.

 

The guy I want doesn't have to be the hottest guy in the world and I guess I'm a victim of the tall, dark, and handsome thing too. But I'm pretty tall so that's kind of important. Even though they are younger than me (again), as an example I would like a guy like Tim Tebow or Jeremy Lin. Obviously, I don't care about race . If there are any more like them around, do let me know . And I have dated professional athletes before...ugh, these 2 guys are the exception or at least they appear to be.

 

But no, I don't have to date athletes or rich guys but I'm not running from them either if they are anything like these two .

[SpringBaby]

My turn to humour everyone, now.

 

- Sweet / Thoughtful.

- Caring.

- Extremely honest. (Fun fact: I can NOT lie, because I start laughing when I'm looking in someone's eyes whilst knowing I'm talking bs lol. xD )

- Reliable. (But not doormat level)

- Intelligent.

- Patient.

- Sensitive.

- Calm.

- Sincere.

- Constantly running into non-commitment women.

- Encountering countless women who claim that there is 'no spark'.

- I always go to the fullest in relationships, and turns out this isn't appreciated.

- I'm confident and willing to stand my ground to defend my principles, morality, etc. even if this means getting on someone else's 'bad' side.

- I'm terrible at reading signals in general. xD

- I try NOT to get emotionally invested quickly as most women I meet immediately drop off the face off the earth.

- Getting rejected left and right because I don't look like I just got out of prison and have a laundry list of previously committed crimes.

- I only have 5 close friends, 4 out of which already have GFs, while the last stays at home and does nothing. (This isn't me btw. )

Thus going out encountering new people, and even women who are interested in something serious is a pain beyond belief.

 

Probably forgetting something atm, to which I'll return at a later date.

You sound like the proverbial "nice guy" which I love .

[SpringBaby]

I'm not good at playing games either. Guys say they want a woman who is well-rounded, honest, not dramatic, considerate, sweet, smart, moral, confident, and ladylike (Just saying). But I don't think that's true. Maybe it's the moral part they don't like. I don't know smh.