hotpotato Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I have a personality type uncommon to women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Or it could be something simple that by revealing I like the woman, the mystery of the chase is gone. No, I don't think it's a loss of mystery. It's the statement of something obvious (especially after asking out 3 times on a row). Their loss. You're very sweet for sharing my dear Scorpio What's draining about relationships? Does the man not reciprocate emotionally? What makes you come off disinterested? Lack of mystery or does the mystery dissolve quickly? What weird values have you encountered? What values do you cherish? Reciprocation has not really been an issue. On the other hand, codependency, insecurities from both ends, and drama have. Of course not all relationships are like that, but even if you have had 1 or 2 that's enough to overwhelm you. No, I don't have a lack of mystery, the exact oppossite. Let's say if some stranger approaches me out of the blue I may not be very talkative and seem detatched. I'll just tell you what values I cherish, because there is enough negativity in this post already Simple things, like honesty, decency, modesty and kindness. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 (edited) You sound like the proverbial "nice guy" which I love . Hah, much appreciated. You sound like a great person tbh, and I appreciate you giving younger guys a chance. Most didn't even have the courage to do even that, heh. What I did forget to mention was the following: - I'm practically a Star Wars Lore Master: I know EVERYTHING there is to know. ^^ - Huge fan of movies: genre doesn't matter. Having Benedict Cumberbatch in it is a plus. - I've had cancer in the past, yet when I initially disclose this to women, they run for the hills. - I am mature for my age, and have grown in the past. I'll likely not change into a different personality. - I frequently get the argument from women in their mid to late twenties that "I'm too young". Because clearly the age gap and my personal age are indicative of one's intelligence, maturity, etc. - Last but not least: I'm a loyalist. (Meaning: I will never even consider cheating on someone in a relationship. When I'm with someone I couldn't even care less if a hot woman walks past me, or towards me. I don't even lock eyes or check them out.) - The proverbial nice guy who has confidence and doesn't act like a doormat isn't valued in today's society and frequently finishes last. But all in all with regards to the topic question: Biggest dating challenge ? Finding acceptance, lol. ^^ Edited March 12, 2014 by Teraskas Link to post Share on other sites
SpringBaby Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Thank you, I try to be. It's easier to be nice than it is to be a jerk. There's a saying, to whom much is given, much is required. You sound like a exceptional guy and only an exceptional woman is going to appreciate that. I can tell you with certainty there aren't many of them around in either gender, no matter where you live, so it's not going to be easy. I am so glad that you beat cancer, that is a blessing and any woman put off by that is not worth your time anyway. And look, today's society would rather talk about Kim Kardashian's "butt" than the children starving or being abused in this world so that says a lot about what matters to society and therefore should not matter to you. If I was in Belgium, I would definitely be your wingwoman lol because it's of value to me. And I used to be a lingerie model, so you can tell them that, just saying lol. I hope I don't come off as a braggart but no one knows each other here and I'm just trying to paint a clear picture. Besides if you don't toot your own horn, no one will hear your music . Okay that's all the platitudes I have for today haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Targetlock Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Getting someone interested enough to give me a chance and actually getting a date! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kodakgirl Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 --I'm in a field of study and work that is over 85% women, and at the moment work/study takes up most of my time and energy so I don't meet many men --I'm not super social generally, I tend to hang out mostly with a couple close friends and pursue solitary hobbies--aiming to get into more social activities (I do like many, just hard to get myself out sometimes) --I'm very shy about romantic interaction... if I notice the guy I'm looking at in the subway is looking at me too, I can't even work up the courage to make eye contact or smile. I'm trying to work on this, aiming to at least smile back once this year!! --I have high standards, and I'm okay with that-- I don't ask for anything I don't offer, but, well, I offer a lot (not being full of myself, it's taken me many years to get to the point where I can see this). I've definitely met men who've exceeded them and been interested in me, so they aren't unreasonable, just it is very hard to come across men like that, especially single, straight ones. I'm comfortable being single and accept that high standards will probably mean I will be single for longer or maybe always --I develop feelings too quickly when I do meet someone I like--I don't do anything crazy or clingy at all, in fact I seem to be much more laid-back in dating than many women, but when I am into someone I am 100% into them and have a hard time understanding when they aren't. I don't feel people are replaceable; yes, of course there is more than one person you'd be a match with, but if you've been lucky enough to meet one, you should hold onto them. A lot of people seem to think, "ah, there'll be someone else when I'm ready." I don't. I feel I am very old-fashioned in my thoughts on love, and so far it's always ended in tears. Link to post Share on other sites
JourneyLady Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 (edited) whoooooo where to start... age (can't do anything about that, though I apparently look younger when well rested) overweight - (doing something about that - more toward fitness than weight at the moment) impatience - if I like someone, it's hard to wait to get started seeing them. I'm used to jumping right in, but after being with someone five years who was never really committed when I last did that, I now let the guy take the lead. And if he doesn't act enough into me (like that last one) I leave. I tend to either like someone and am attracted right away or not. It's pretty clear to me when someone has ahold of my brain and if they don't seem serious, I have to bail ... it bothers me too much to be worrying all the time about why they aren't actually making a date or acknowledging I texted within 24 hours, or act all non-enthused about "having" to talk to me (or the method therein). [i mean my gosh, guy - why complain about how your blackberry works, when you live ten minutes away - and you have a phone????!!) Of course, I know if they "fade", I'm supposed to do the same -- but it doesn't feel quite honest, so I usually say why I'm bailing. And that pisses them off pretty much. All kinds of excuses about lack of time. But if they can't spare me 30 seconds to say hello, how was your day? I can't imagine ever being in a relationship where I was doing that for them... Because beyond sex, guys look for respect and devotion. Gotta show some devotion if you want mine -- and I'll give it right off as long as he does, assuming I'm into him. If I'm not into him, I say I don't think it's a match right up front. I suppose that's what is holding me back. But I think it's holding me back from the wrong people, which at this point, is a good thing. Emotionally (and financially) I can't afford the wrong guy anymore. The good and the bad part is that I'm a geek (rare in my age group). Have lots of my own activities and can make my own schedule. It's busy, but I can switch things around if need be. Oh yeah - and I like sex. A lot. More than almost anyone I've had it with so far. Edited March 13, 2014 by JourneyLady Link to post Share on other sites
Moe'sTavern Posted March 13, 2014 Share Posted March 13, 2014 I suppose the fact that I live with my parents and don't make much money at my job are limitations. Another one would be my complete lack of experience in relationships and sex... The only difference for me is that I'm an unemployed college student. I would also add that my lack of self confidence has also prevented me from even trying to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Salvatore85 Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 Being scared of getting hurt again... Link to post Share on other sites
topaMAXX Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 No I'm kidding, I meet guys often, I'm attracted to the athletic and/or professional guys and they are attracted to me but generally speaking, I hate their personalities. I wasted too much time thinking I could find one with a decent personality. And my religion plays a part, I would like a Christian guy but if ever there was a needle in a haystack...good Lord! I go for the humble, mature, down-to-earth types (still fit and/or professional) but they are so wishy-washy and inconsistent. My ex was a good mix of the two except he wasn't as established as I need a guy to be. He was 11 years younger than me so I know that played a big part in it but I gave him a chance and am glad I did. I was beginning to think I was "aging out" of finding someone like him even though I haven't changed but my age did. And in some respects my age I think is becoming a factor because since I have been an adult, nearly every guy I have ever met has been younger than me. I don't really care about age but it tends to correspond with experience and being established in life. That's the turn-off for me for me with younger guys, especially being kind of accomplished myself. I met 2 older guys before and like them both but they weren't looking for anything serious, both were divorced, had kids and were pretty much done with relationships it seemed. I just can't seem to find the right mix and I don't know where to look. I don't go out much because of my career and school and my friends have all moved out of state. I can't bear to go on dating sites again, I find them to be meat-markets. I met someone I like recently but he's turning out to be a wishy-washy one lol. The guy I want doesn't have to be the hottest guy in the world and I guess I'm a victim of the tall, dark, and handsome thing too. But I'm pretty tall so that's kind of important. Even though they are younger than me (again), as an example I would like a guy like Tim Tebow or Jeremy Lin. Obviously, I don't care about race . If there are any more like them around, do let me know . And I have dated professional athletes before...ugh, these 2 guys are the exception or at least they appear to be. But no, I don't have to date athletes or rich guys but I'm not running from them either if they are anything like these two . Actual problem: too picky. Link to post Share on other sites
topaMAXX Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 My biggest problems: - I'm a young military officer stationed at a small base. All of the girls my age here are enlisted. I could go to jail for dating them and it's just not worth the risk (even though many have expressed some degree of interest). - I live in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by two college towns. VERY easy to hook up, but these girls are too young and immature for anything serious (which is what I want now). - I can't seem to find any girls that meet my very reasonable long-term relationship criteria (I've met maybe a handful in my entire life and maybe 1 or 2 since college). - Also, I'm burnt out by dating and tired of playing games. So I'm probably too honest for my own good. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts