ExposedBrick Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I recently exchanged a couple of message with a woman from an OLD site. She is 25. I live in a large metro area and she listed her location as a nearby suburb. However, after exchanging two messages, she "confessed" she primarily hangs out in the said suburb and the city on the weekends but actually lives in a small town further outside the city. She said she wasn't interested in meeting people from the small town she lives in. She seems cool but this also seems like a bit of a red flag. What do you all think? Link to post Share on other sites
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Could be she doesn't want to get stalked by ppl so she put out a fake address.. Or could be that she's cheating and is hiding her tracks. Not enough info to really tell one way or the other at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Idon't think it's a huge red flag if she confessed it up front to you. We all carry one or two things we'd like to not share until the time is right and many times with love, or work, we aim for what we want or where we'd like to go not where we are at a given moment. However, if she reveals more "differences" than that's a red flag. There's nothing wrong with some privacy and some intimate information being withheld on a OLD site. But keep an eye open for repeat performances, so to speak, to see if it's just isolated or if it's a pattern. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 Idon't think it's a huge red flag if she confessed it up front to you. We all carry one or two things we'd like to not share until the time is right and many times with love, or work, we aim for what we want or where we'd like to go not where we are at a given moment. However, if she reveals more "differences" than that's a red flag. There's nothing wrong with some privacy and some intimate information being withheld on a OLD site. But keep an eye open for repeat performances, so to speak, to see if it's just isolated or if it's a pattern. Do you think it would be best to somewhat jokingly/seriously inquire if there is any thing else she wants to confess? e.g. Is there anything else you'd like to confess such as you are a post-op tranny? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 It's possible when she puts her real location then she doesn't get messages from the metro area because 1. it's a way away 2. People don't know where it is and assume it's out there in lalaland. I think it's more to trick the Search Engin than it is to trick men. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Hello_is_it_me Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Do you think it would be best to somewhat jokingly/seriously inquire if there is any thing else she wants to confess? e.g. Is there anything else you'd like to confess such as you are a post-op tranny? lol too early to start grilling her on stuff. Don't scare her away. Just get to know her better and keep your spidey senses attuned for ***** that don't add up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ExposedBrick Posted March 12, 2014 Author Share Posted March 12, 2014 lol too early to start grilling her on stuff. Don't scare her away. Just get to know her better and keep your spidey senses attuned for ***** that don't add up. Good point, I could always fact check with Google once more details come in. Link to post Share on other sites
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I did the same thing when I was online dating. Compatible men in my area were few and far between, so I changed my location to a more popular city about an hour away. Once I began chatting with someone, I would let them know where I actually lived, but the majority of my dates were from there, and only one or two thought it was an issue. The guy I'm seeing now lives there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
avoforastig Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I did the same thing when I was online dating. Compatible men in my area were few and far between, so I changed my location to a more popular city about an hour away. Once I began chatting with someone, I would let them know where I actually lived, but the majority of my dates were from there, and only one or two thought it was an issue. The guy I'm seeing now lives there. The majority were from the bigger city? It sounds like she moved there for a good job opportunity (can't blame that) but her family and friends live near the city. Link to post Share on other sites
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 The majority were from the bigger city? It sounds like she moved there for a good job opportunity (can't blame that) but her family and friends live near the city. Yes. Out of a total of 15 dates, including my guy, only 3 were local. Either they would drive here or I would drive there. It's an awesome city, the drive is very easy (no traffic), and I enjoy visiting it whenever I can. It provided a much more diverse range of dating potentials and eventually the love of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I do exactly the same thing. I'm not at all comfortable sharing my small town with everyone on the site. It's only for safety reasons. I don't want a total nut job to be able to find me. I mean, I think I'm the only red head here. Hahaha! You gotta be safe! Link to post Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I don't see this as a problem. It's really no different than Googling new places to eat and setting your location to the nearest major city as opposed to your tiny suburb. You already know what's local, the idea is to cast a wider net. No different when you're online dating. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 I don't see this as a problem. I plan to do it for a city I want to visit on vacation to see if I'd like living there. It would be nice to have a resident show me around and give me the local scoop. As long as one person is willing to move should things get serious. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Thanks for reminding me! I am gonna change my location on OLD now that I ma back to 'dating' again just because I on't want to get stalked like I did before or have folk turn up on my doorstep again....and yes both happened. It's not a flag. Not in my book. Just safety on her part. Link to post Share on other sites
StanMusial Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 She got warrants. Link to post Share on other sites
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