Gf texts "goodnight" but then doesn't really go to sleep

[Mo_Do]

Use to do that daily - I did it because I need a little time to myself without a new text coming in every 5-min to my phone beside me that needs a prompt response.

 

I wouldn't say "off to bed" and then go upload 47 pictures to facebook an hour later though, but I did get caught leaving FB messages on my buddies stuff a couple times.

 

However, it ended up being a small part of why we broke up according to her. Thinking back I believe she began thinking I was either bored of her or cheating. It was neither. Oh well..

[babycakees]

Hmm. I've done this plenty of times. Matter of fact I did that tonight to someone I was texting. Sometimes it's nice to have the time to yourself without your phone going off constantly.

[OhThatGirl]

^^^ I think these posters haven't read the rest of the thread. Sure. The good night thing isn't a big deal.

 

But OMG. Has anyone reassured you it's ok to create boundaries when you're in a relationship??? And that it DOESNT mean you're jealous or insecure but instead quite the opposite??? Telling her this isn't acceptable and you find it distasteful means you know what kind of relationship you want and won't settle for less. To know these things bother you but then to move your line (your boundary) and ignore it speaks more to being insecure than standing firm on your expectations does.

 

I understand being friends with an ex. I also understand that the reason I understand it is because I've tried it! It's not conducive to a new relationship! I'm happy she's all "free love" and whatnot. Sounds like you're a little more traditional (speak: reasonable) about things.

 

Whether you see her as long term or not it's fair to get these things in the open. It might make sense to jump ship now and save any further emotional investment when you already know you two are incompatible when it comes to these things..

 

If I were in your situation I'd have to be very clear and say "these things are unacceptable, in a relationship I expect my partner to be on the same page with ____ behavior and if you're not willing to meet me on this we should go our separate ways."

 

It's awful that one of her excuses is "he doesn't have any friends." Guess what sweetheart.. You're not a friend to him either. You're the ex he is trying to get back.

 

What a cluster. Good luck.

[Hello_is_it_me]

^^^ I think these posters haven't read the rest of the thread. Sure. The good night thing isn't a big deal.

 

But OMG. Has anyone reassured you it's ok to create boundaries when you're in a relationship??? And that it DOESNT mean you're jealous or insecure but instead quite the opposite??? Telling her this isn't acceptable and you find it distasteful means you know what kind of relationship you want and won't settle for less. To know these things bother you but then to move your line (your boundary) and ignore it speaks more to being insecure than standing firm on your expectations does.

 

I understand being friends with an ex. I also understand that the reason I understand it is because I've tried it! It's not conducive to a new relationship! I'm happy she's all "free love" and whatnot. Sounds like you're a little more traditional (speak: reasonable) about things.

 

Whether you see her as long term or not it's fair to get these things in the open. It might make sense to jump ship now and save any further emotional investment when you already know you two are incompatible when it comes to these things..

 

If I were in your situation I'd have to be very clear and say "these things are unacceptable, in a relationship I expect my partner to be on the same page with ____ behavior and if you're not willing to meet me on this we should go our separate ways."

 

It's awful that one of her excuses is "he doesn't have any friends." Guess what sweetheart.. You're not a friend to him either. You're the ex he is trying to get back.

 

What a cluster. Good luck.

 

Yeah her excuses don't really hold up so the whole "free love" thing.. I dunno if that's really her thing or if she just wants to see what she can get away with. Another case in point:

 

One day I get a text saying her and the ex are going to a movie later that night. I ask, "is this an invitation to join or an informing?" She says, "informing. We've been planning to see this sequel for a while and I know you haven't seen the first so I didn't think you'd want to go..."

 

Me: (sarcastically): "well you wouldn't want to cancel plans you've made! So... how many more things do you have to do with your ex because they're planned..?

 

Her: "well there's ______ and this concert... Oh and there's _____...

 

Me: "..." (thinking you can't be serious). This girl's priorities are waaaaay off. She had a five year relationship where the guy was uber-controlling and then she dated the ex she still hangs out with right after for 9 months. Ever since they broke up she's been mostly single and just casually dated a few people. So she must've liked me at least a little bit to want to end her casual streak when she asked me to become exclusive... Maybe the uber-controlling guy has made her into the way she currently is..?? Who knows. Doesn't matter.

[soLoveIS]

Maybe tonight at 6 pm I can text "falling asleep. goodnight!" and stay up for hours lol. I'm jk, im jk

 

Hey I have the same thing. But I don't put a lot of thought to it because my BF shows me more attention in person than in a text. I feel he is having his space time to himself and also... he is still getting use to the fact of having a Girlfriend. We are new in this relationship. I am letting things come and go, naturally.