her1nonly Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 i'd like for to change a bit... 1. have at least one girlfriend 2. take care of herself a bit more (weight, and dressing up more often) 3. not doubt me and my loyalty to her. does this mean i don't love her? she was all three at one point when i met her...why can't it be like that anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Maybe the frienship dwindled because she wanted to make time for you and make you her one and only importance (a lot of women do this)... Why do you want her to have at least one girlfriend? Is it so you can not feel guilty having or hanging out with your buddies? (not that you should or shouldn't). Her weight/dress, IMHO that's superficial, you fell in love with "her" though so as long as "she" (inside) hasn't changed you should see to the root of the problem, why does her appearance change bother you so much? Do you want your friends/strangers to think you're better because you've got a "hot gurl"?? Maybe she picks up on your vibes of wishing she would change therefor how could she not doubt your loyality to her? My advice.....talk to her about how you feel. Be sensitive, find out WHY YOU feel the way you do then explain all of this to her. Then work on it TOGETHER! Link to post Share on other sites
Author her1nonly Posted January 25, 2005 Author Share Posted January 25, 2005 yes, i would like her to have someone to hang out with and do girl stuff. she always puts new people aside for me. and i don't like that. i guess i should be thankfull, but i just think its not healthy. yes it is superficial and shallow. i'm no model, but i do my best to look good for her and her only. and its not to please anyone else but me. sure it'd be nice to get compliments from other people, "you're gf is hot!" but i don't care for that. it concerns me, when i don't recognize her, or when i don't feel physically attracted to her. its a sucky feeling. when she dresses up, casually or formal, she looks good, but if she got to her ideal weight, she'd be hot mama! She has picked up on my vibes, but i've covered it up. She knows she's overweight and that's not how she wants to be, but she doesn't hold back when she eats...and there's been times where i didn't feel like continuing to eat. i can't talk to her... you can't tell a girl she should loose weight....not a bf. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 she looks good, but if she got to her ideal weight, she'd be hot mama! How "overweight" is she? Are you talking morbidly obese (more than 100lbs) or pudge? If she knows she is overweight maybe you could suggest going to work out together, cook together, make HEALTHY meals, don't eat sugar (apt for sugar free) ect. NO woman wants to hear her man says she's overweight but I think she'd rather know how you feel than you keeping it a secret! Link to post Share on other sites
Author her1nonly Posted January 25, 2005 Author Share Posted January 25, 2005 about 30-40...but she's barely 5'2"...so it shows a lot... It would devistate her. if i brought it up. she's very self-conscious and somewhat insecure... the change needs to come from her really. thanks for your input Link to post Share on other sites
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