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I love my cousin but she doesnt want to talk to me

fawazshakil

By fawazshakil,
in General Relationship Discussion

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stillafool

stillafool

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Well if no one in your family objects to this type of relationship the problem is obviously your cousin doesn't feel romantic love towards you. So find another girl or another cousin. I think it's wrong but your culture is different.

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mano

mano

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Its nothin bad in our society to have a cousin marriage.

Yes, u wait for her, remain patient. But if she never loved u in a romantic way then it is pointless.

Stop chasing her n also take ur parents in confidence.

Good luck. U can message me if you like. I would like to help.

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VeronicaRoss

VeronicaRoss

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I can relate in a way.

 

I have a male cousin 2 months younger than me. We were inseparable as kids. We went our own ways when we hit puberty because he was into partying and I definitely wasn't. Seemed like a natural and healthy 'break up'.

 

We got along so well still though at family get togethers his young nieces (before they were old enough to understand the concept of 'cousins') would ask why don't we get married? So it was also a family joke.

 

What I'm saying is I get how close you can be. That is a huge gift in life to have known that, a lot of people never will. But I definitely don't want to marry him. Why? I'm not sexually attracted to him and we both have very different interests and friends. For the same reasons I wouldn't if we weren't cousins. And I don't think I'd get beyond the 'cousin' thing to start, there is an 'ick' factor.

 

You do know that if you had kids with a cousin there would be all kinds of potential dangers for them genetically? That's one reasons it's illegal in many places.

 

All that aside she isn't interested in you romantically. She has to keep you away now so your romantic feelings will die down. You need to do that for a long time if you want to have any kind of relationship with her moving forward, probably years. Don't argue or try to woo her, you're going to make things worse.

 

You need to date other women and move on. That is your best hope for having any kind of friendship with her.

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fawazshakil

fawazshakil

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Its nothin bad in our society to have a cousin marriage.

Yes, u wait for her, remain patient. But if she never loved u in a romantic way then it is pointless.

Stop chasing her n also take ur parents in confidence.

Good luck. U can message me if you like. I would like to help.

 

Thanks for your support i want your help in future too

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Candy_Pants

Candy_Pants

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FYI this in legal in some states of good 'ol Merica too :rolleyes:.

 

If you love her, and told her, there's nothing you can do except wait for her to speak to you again.

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fawazshakil

fawazshakil

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FYI this in legal in some states of good 'ol Merica too :rolleyes:.

 

If you love her, and told her, there's nothing you can do except wait for her to speak to you again.

 

I will wait for her

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mano

mano

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Was she interestd in you too? Like shown any kind of interest or wanted to have a romantic involvement with you? Or was it purely platonic from her side?

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fawazshakil

fawazshakil

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She was always interested in me but dont she loves me or not.When we meet always try to talk me in private.On a party her eyes find me and mine also

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David87

David87

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She was always interested in me but dont she loves me or not.When we meet always try to talk me in private.On a party her eyes find me and mine also

 

Fawazshakil all i'm trying to say is that she was always a platonic friend with you, but when you told her how you feel she got scared because she saw you as a friend not as a lover.

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Almond_Joy

Almond_Joy

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The fact that you two are so closely related really seems irrelevant.

 

Someone will not love you just because you wish they would and you think that they should. They have to decide that you are right for them for themselves in their own time, which may never happen.

 

I would think you will be miserable while you wait. You are young, and will likely be exposed to many opportunities to love some wonderful women. You would deny yourself a happy life with someone who loves you the same way to wait for someone who may never feel the way you do?

 

Please don't do that to yourself. It's unfair to you and your cousin. She's lost a dear friend by not being able to talk to you and is likely hurting too, but you are asking something of her she doesn't have to give. That's really unfair and a lot of stress on her.

 

I'm not saying go out and intentionally find someone to date right now, but please if you meet a great girl who really loves you do not pass up an opportunity to be happy. And if she dates and loves someone else, be happy for her. Wanting someone you care about to be happy, even at the expense of your desires, is a sign of true, lasting love. If you love her like you say you do you would want her to be happy.

 

Good luck.

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Radu

Radu

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OP, if it's legal and morally ok in your country, go for it, but you will still -hopefully- need her consent.

Her ignoring you is the message that you are interested.

 

Look for other girls.

This will either get you over the heartbreak of 'no', or will end up making her interested.

Either way, the way you act now -pining for her- won't work.

 

I just gave him my opinion, do you have a problem with that? I understood that it's ok in his country,then I told him to talk to his mother . What's wrong with you? STOP TREATING ME LIKE YOU ARE BETTER OR SOMETHING. Give your opinion and mind your own business.

 

Opinion is what you wrote first on page 1.

Judgement is what you spread later on in every post you made.

 

PS: I see you're from Europe, lots of turks here, and it's gonna get more crowded soon, when we let Turkey -eventually- in the EU.

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NYC-BigKat

NYC-BigKat

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I love my cousin alot from my childhood.She is 7 months older than me.We were so familiar with each other . we talk daily and always open to each other .But last month something happen between us and our life changes .I told her that i love her she suddenly starts ignoring me .She was the one who text me daily but now she doesnt . Today i told her that if she doesnt want to talk to me then i will not message her again and she doesnt reply to this message .I really love her alot and i really want her in my life .What i do now i am really missing her now alot .

 

 

I felt attracted to my cousin a lot too just like u & now she doesn't talk to me anymore either. I shouldn't have bothered but I couldn't help how I felt but I am over it now & maybe u will be. Just don't focus on stuff like that u know.

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mano

mano

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Just give her time and meanwhile dont try to pesuade her or follow her. Let her be. She will come around herself if she feels the same. But dont just waste yourself like this.

Focus on family, studies other matters.

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  • 1 month later...
RonaldS

RonaldS

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Is it culturally acceptable for you to marry your cousin?

 

You do know of some of the pitfalls of inter breeding I hope?

 

I think you've got the wrong idea with this girl, she wanted you to be her cousin and friend, not lovers.

 

Real quick biological note....

 

There is little likelihood of any sort of genetic defect popping up in one generation of breeding between two individuals with only fairly similar genetic make-up.

 

Assuming he is only related to the cousin through one parent (ie her dad and OPs mom or dad are brother and sister), there's already enough genetic diversity to make the mitigate any chance for a birth defect....beyond the normal probability of a genetic defect.

 

Problems arise when it is generation after generation of breeding through a very small pool of genes (ie brother and sister reproduce, their offspring reproduce with each other, and on and on).

 

This thing about, if you have kids with your cousin it will have all of these genetic defects is pretty mythological. In one reproductive event with an individual with whom you share, at the absolute maximum, 25% of your genetic material (but most likely, far less), you probably don't have much more of a chance of a genetic defect than if you just pulled a random girl off the street and had a kid.

Edited by RonaldS
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