When is appropriate to start flirting and what are some good ways to start doing it?

[somedude81]

The ability to flirt with girls has always been my biggest weakness in the dating game. It's easier to do when I have a pretty good idea a girl is into me and I can be more bold.

 

Though for girls I barely know and am just starting to have basic conversations with, I don't really know how to start flirting.

 

There's about five girls in my classes that I've had at least two casual conversations with and I now feel comfortable and familiar enough with to go up to them and start talking. I don't really understand how to get into the next phase.

[normal person]

Are you in their league?

 

If you've read some of the OP's other threads, this isn't really the kind of thing he thinks too hard about.

 

 

OP, unless you're in Saudi Arabia or something like that, there's no law saying you can't talk to a girl. Once the sexual undertone enters the picture then it's appropriate if she likes it. If she doesn't like it, it's not welcomed and perhaps not "appropriate" (although that's subjective). There's no solid rule about it and there's not really a way to know preemptively. Everyone's different. Talk about situational things first. If she's responsive, move on to more personal stuff. Let everything be natural and don't force it/her.

[somedude81]

OP, unless you're in Saudi Arabia or something like that, there's no law saying you can't talk to a girl. Once the sexual undertone enters the picture then it's appropriate if she likes it. If she doesn't like it, it's not welcomed and perhaps not "appropriate" (although that's subjective). There's no solid rule about it and there's not really a way to know preemptively. Everyone's different. Talk about situational things first. If she's responsive, move on to more personal stuff. Let everything be natural and don't force it/her.

I'm already past just talking to girls about situational things, personal stuff like classes, hobbies etc.

 

I'm asking how to bring up the sexual undertone. That's what I struggle with the most.

[normal person]

I'm already past just talking to girls about situational things, personal stuff like classes, hobbies etc.

 

I'm asking how to bring up the sexual undertone. That's what I struggle with the most.

 

By "personal" I didn't mean trivial. Classes and hobbies are trivial. These are pretty meaningless conversations that don't change her thoughts, opinions, or feelings. "Oh cool, I like to play volleyball too" sounds like middle school stuff. It's insignificant and entirely neutral -- it doesn't accomplish anything really. You're offering her nothing. The net change in her opinion of you is 0. I think the more you rely solely on frivolous stuff, the more you're friend-zoning yourself by default because if you never elevate, she doesn't have much reason to consider you anything more than "that guy who talks about volleyball."

 

It's hard to put in words, but ideally a sexual undertone should already be present. If there's a sexual tension between two people it's usually pretty palpable; that's when flirting's most appropriate and efficient.

 

If there's no sexual tension, you might have an uphill battle. To start perhaps generating some sexual tension and to have an affect on a girl who isn't (or maybe even one who already is) attracted to you, I think your best bet is to make her feel something. To do that, you need to start by changing her opinions of you from nothing to something. If you've only had trivial conversations, you're yet to even start, that's probably why there's no sexual tension to begin with. That's why you'll probably have an uphill battle -- you're likely not on her sexual radar. Do your interactions make her happy? Excited? Mystified? Intrigued? Laugh? Think? If not, it's useless. She's not gaining anything from the interaction with you, so why on Earth would she be interested in you if not physically attracted? You need to have an affect on her somehow.

 

I think a good tool to use is the word "why." Both as a question and as an explanation. When you ask her why she thinks something, she shares her feelings with you and it's slightly more personal because she's sharing something about herself that's unique to her. It isn't visible. It's remotely intimate, you want to learn about her as a complex individual and not one that simply likes or doesn't like volleyball. It might be a minuscule fact but it's going to deepen the relationship proportionally. She's entrusting you with a little bit of herself and she's slightly flattered that you want to know about her feelings. You're starting to pop up on that sexual radar of hers, perhaps. There's an emotional affect. So do it and figure out how to do it more. Take the opportunity to explain why you like things or feel a certain way too. She might not like what you have to say, but there's a chance she might, and that's seemingly the only way her opinion about you is going to change and progress at this stage. It's still far from a guarantee that she'll like you, but it's much better than nothing.

 

Just my two cents, maybe some girls can give their thoughts.

Edited March 13, 2014 by normal person

[iris219]

I'm already past just talking to girls about situational things, personal stuff like classes, hobbies etc.

 

I'm asking how to bring up the sexual undertone. That's what I struggle with the most.

 

I prefer that a man not bring any sexual undertones into a conversation until we are actually on a date.

 

You can be playful without being sexual.

[normal person]

I prefer that a man not bring any sexual undertones into a conversation until we are actually on a date.

 

You can be playful without being sexual.

 

I think there might be some semantic confusion here. An "undertone" isn't an obvious thing that's discussed. It's felt internally. It's general flirting.

 

- Talking about the other's appearance

- Teasing

- Touching

- Entering someone's personal space

 

Being playful absolutely counts. I'd be "playful" with a girl I liked, probably not so much with a female friend of mine. And if I did, there'd be a noticeable difference, albeit one that's hard to describe. It wouldn't be sexually charged, obvious or not.

[topaMAXX]

I'm already past just talking to girls about situational things, personal stuff like classes, hobbies etc.

 

I'm asking how to bring up the sexual undertone. That's what I struggle with the most.

 

You have 1 of 2 options with this:

 

1. Either be sexual in your body language and say non-sexual things

 

Or

 

2. Say sexual things in a playful way and be non sexual in body language.

[somedude81]

By "personal" I didn't mean trivial. Classes and hobbies are trivial. These are pretty meaningless conversations that don't change her thoughts, opinions, or feelings. "Oh cool, I like to play volleyball too" sounds like middle school stuff. It's insignificant and entirely neutral -- it doesn't accomplish anything really. You're offering her nothing. The net change in her opinion of you is 0. I think the more you rely solely on frivolous stuff, the more you're friend-zoning yourself by default because if you never elevate, she doesn't have much reason to consider you anything more than "that guy who talks about volleyball."

Cool stuff.

 

Yes I know the level of the conversations I'm having now with them are meaningless. That's what I want to change. I absolutely do not want to get stuck as friends.

It's hard to put in words, but ideally a sexual undertone should already be present. If there's a sexual tension between two people it's usually pretty palpable; that's when flirting's most appropriate and efficient.

 

If there's no sexual tension, you might have an uphill battle. To start perhaps generating some sexual tension and to have an affect on a girl who isn't (or maybe even one who already is) attracted to you, I think your best bet is to make her feel something. To do that, you need to start by changing her opinions of you from nothing to something. If you've only had trivial conversations, you're yet to even start, that's probably why there's no sexual tension to begin with. That's why you'll probably have an uphill battle -- you're likely not on her sexual radar. Do your interactions make her happy? Excited? Mystified? Intrigued? Laugh? Think? If not, it's useless. She's not gaining anything from the interaction with you, so why on Earth would she be interested in you if not physically attracted? You need to have an affect on her somehow.

Nope, no sexual tension, undertone, flirting of any kind. That is what I want to change and am asking how to do so. I have never been good with women and I've never understood how it worked.

 

It's pretty safe to say that no women will be attracted to me at the start. I have to overcome that, and it's been very hard. I don't even really understand how I got my ex into me, and she's the only girl I have ever dated. Somehow we just formed a bond in class and I started heavily flirting with her when I figured out that she liked me.

 

 

I think a good tool to use is the word "why." Both as a question and as an explanation. When you ask her why she thinks something, she shares her feelings with you and it's slightly more personal because she's sharing something about herself that's unique to her. It isn't visible. It's remotely intimate, you want to learn about her as a complex individual and not one that simply likes or doesn't like volleyball. It might be a minuscule fact but it's going to deepen the relationship proportionally. She's entrusting you with a little bit of herself and she's slightly flattered that you want to know about her feelings. You're starting to pop up on that sexual radar of hers, perhaps. There's an emotional affect. So do it and figure out how to do it more. Take the opportunity to explain why you like things or feel a certain way too. She might not like what you have to say, but there's a chance she might, and that's seemingly the only way her opinion about you is going to change and progress at this stage. It's still far from a guarantee that she'll like you, but it's much better than nothing.

Do you have any examples of how I can start doing that?

 

Basically I'm clueless about women. There are several girls I can talk to, but most likely if I continue down the path I'm on now, I'll make a few new friends. Which is something I have no interest in.

[somedude81]

I think there might be some semantic confusion here. An "undertone" isn't an obvious thing that's discussed. It's felt internally. It's general flirting.

 

- Talking about the other's appearance

- Teasing

- Touching

- Entering someone's personal space

 

Being playful absolutely counts. I'd be "playful" with a girl I liked, probably not so much with a female friend of mine. And if I did, there'd be a noticeable difference, albeit one that's hard to describe. It wouldn't be sexually charged, obvious or not.

I also don't understand general light flirting.

 

What can you say about a girls' appearance if you aren't dating her? I can kind of tease but I'm more opportunistic. Thankfully after finally getting a GF I have no issues with touching but I'm a bit unclear on when it's OK to start hugging girls.

[somedude81]

You have 1 of 2 options with this:

 

1. Either be sexual in your body language and say non-sexual things

 

Or

 

2. Say sexual things in a playful way and be non sexual in body language.

LOL!

 

I don't know how to express sexual body language, or what sexual things to say

[topaMAXX]

LOL!

 

I don't know how to express sexual body language, or what sexual things to say

 

Just get turned on, man. Your body language will change naturally.

 

I do this all the time, though not intentionally. I never really had to think about it. Girls seem to pick up on it and become more attracted to me.

[somedude81]

Just get turned on, man. Your body language will change naturally.

 

I do this all the time, though not intentionally. I never really had to think about it. Girls seem to pick up on it and become more attracted to me.

When I'm dancing and grooving with a girl in class, it's probably not a good a good idea for me to get turned on, if you know what I mean.

 

Frankly I'm trying not to get turned on.

 

As a side note, girls are rarely attracted to me. There is probably something off about my body language.

Edited March 13, 2014 by somedude81

[johan]

In the co-ed dorms at college one of the athletes who lived there would walk around and chat with the girls while he had an erection poking out at them through his sweats.

 

Don't do that.

 

You can always just mention casually but seriously to the girl that you masturbated while thinking of her before class. You'll know you picked a winner if she laughs at you.

[normal person]

 

Nope, no sexual tension, undertone, flirting of any kind. That is what I want to change and am asking how to do so. I have never been good with women and I've never understood how it worked.

 

Building a little comfort with situational stuff is fine. Don't hesitate to get deeper, get to know what thinks and why she thinks that. How does she feel about things? Try not to play it like you're a psychologist, but get the deepest amount of emotion and introspection that you can from her. It's also crucial that you reciprocate it too, otherwise her opinion of you isn't going to change. Like I said, this is a remotely intimate exchange. Once you do it it's going to be an easier transition to the general flirting.

 

I also don't understand general light flirting.

 

What can you say about a girls' appearance if you aren't dating her?

 

Do these with the utmost confidence:

 

- Commenting on their hair is always a safe bet. Girls often put a lot of time and thought into it and it's not an overtly sexual thing to comment on. "I like your hair like that, it makes me feel like you __________" and something to fill in the blank. Convey emotion, make her feel special/unique/noticed/appreciated or something other than just the fact you like it.

Example: I have an acquaintance who I don't see all the time (friend of friends) but when I do see her I like to tease her and just mess around. One time I saw she changed her hair and genuinely complimented it ("that's a good look for you, it makes you _______)" and she was so impressed that I noticed and was sincere about it, I heard her telling her friends that out of everyone I was the only one who noticed or said anything about it. She felt like the change she made went noticed, appreciated, etc. She felt something.

 

- Tell her what celebrity she reminds you most of.

Example: I have another friend who I think looks just like a gorgeous actress on a very popular show. I tell her they could be twins. I bring up a picture of the actress on my phone and put it next to her face and have people agree with me. She gets so flattered, she mentions it practically every time I see her and says it's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to her. Wouldn't be the first time this has worked.

 

- You can tell a girl she's cute, but it sounds more genuine if you:

 

A). Make it more of an afterthought as opposed to the main point of the statement. "It's kind of weird how you _____, but it's strangely kind of cute too. I'm confused."

 

B). Have a confident reluctance to admit it, almost as if you're conceding the compliment to her. "OK, ok, I get it, you're cute. Shut up." (playfully, of course).

 

 

Do you have any examples of how I can start doing that?

It's basically just trying to figure out what makes her tick. There's not so much of a script to it. Why does she do the things she does or think a certain way? What's she looking for, what's she after? Be legitimately interested.

 

Example: About six weeks ago I was in a store buying clothes. I figured the sales girl there was engaging me solely because she works on commission. So although she was pretty hot, I maintained disinterest. When she made basic conversation I reciprocated, once we got past the trivial stuff I got more personal. "You know, you're pretty good at selling me stuff, how do you like working here?" "Would you rather be doing something else?" "But you feel pretty content with _____, or no?" "Why do you think you feel like that?" "That's really interesting, because I've felt like _____ before..." She became way more attentive and personal than a typical salesperson. At that point, it was flirting. It will evolve into that naturally. It's obvious to everyone, the other girls working the store knew it too and once I left they asked her if she got my number because there was palpable sexual tension. Anyways, she sat outside the booth as I tried on clothes so it was pretty obvious what was going on, I got her number and we went out, etc. I just let the situation guide itself by natural curiosity, nothing forced.

Edited March 13, 2014 by normal person

[somedude81]

Thanks for the really good post normal person.

 

I'm trying to figure out how I can start the process with girls I currently know.

 

Right now there are a few girls that I'm nothing more than casual classroom buddies. My main goal at this point is to start seeing them outside of class.

 

When should I start with the flirting and compliments?

[normal person]

 

Right now there are a few girls that I'm nothing more than casual classroom buddies. My main goal at this point is to start seeing them outside of class.

 

When should I start with the flirting and compliments?

 

Just keep in mind it's going to be an uphill battle. If they've never done or said anything to you to which the subtext was "notice me," they likely just aren't attracted to you to begin with. To be honest, I've never really tried to get with a girl who didn't at least subtly hint that she liked me first so maybe this all might be ineffectual, I don't know.

 

If you want to test the waters a bit with the flirting, it has to seem natural, not forced. You have to make it genuine, she'll be able to smell an ulterior motive. That is likely the difference between her thinking "wow, he's sweet and thoughtful" and "he's creepy." And I say this only because you're a lot older. Sometimes a girl will be fine with a flat out romantically-charged advance but I don't think school is the time or place for you.

 

I think the best way to do this would be wait for an appropriate moment. Some stuff is more situational than others so you'll have to use your best judgment. Don't be overly-complimentary either because that just makes you seem eager. There is that one school of thought that suggests you should "neg" her and make her feel like she has to earn your respect or attention. Well, the odds are that she doesn't really care if she has it or not in this case so if I were you I would be careful with that.

 

Of course all of this is going to be hard if she isn't attracted to you in some way. It's not as simple as saying nice things and getting her affections in return. It might work once in a while because girls that age don't know any better but I wouldn't count on it. So before you go flirting up a storm, you need to have things on offer in addition to your attention to her. Are you fun? Good looking? Funny? Interesting? Challenging? Resourceful? Smart? Talented? Whatever you are, she needs to like it and want more of it. And every girl is different. Flirt to get her attention and build sexual tension, then keep her attention and earn her admiration somehow.

 

If you're flirting and she's receptive -- maybe if you can feel some sexual tension -- just ask her out. There's no reason to really over complicate things that much.

 

I'm sure there are plenty of other ways to do this, maybe some other guys or girls can comment.

[preraph]

Sex isn't something you start talking about before you're involved romantically. Basically, you can't turn a relationship from friendly to sexual by doing anything other than being yourself and seeing who likes you. I actually think you're doing the right thing just reciprocating and talking more to the girls who are being friendly to you to begin with. Once you are casual enough with them so you're talking about what each other is doing, for example, after work/school or over the weekend, that's how you get dates started. And you don't need to direct it to one girl but maybe suggest the small group you're talking to all go have a drink or see a movie. Then from there, you can possibly sit by the one you like and see if she seems comfortable and happy or not.

[somedude81]

Just keep in mind it's going to be an uphill battle. If they've never done or said anything to you to which the subtext was "notice me," they likely just aren't attracted to you to begin with. To be honest, I've never really tried to get with a girl who didn't at least subtly hint that she liked me first so maybe this all might be ineffectual, I don't know.

And that is my greatest problem.

 

Women are not attracted to me to begin with. They never have been which is why I struggled with women for the vast majority of my life.

 

Yes it is completely an uphill battle.

If you want to test the waters a bit with the flirting, it has to seem natural, not forced. You have to make it genuine, she'll be able to smell an ulterior motive. That is likely the difference between her thinking "wow, he's sweet and thoughtful" and "he's creepy."

What do you mean by test the waters?

 

I'm also confused on what you mean by not have an ulterior motive.

 

My motive is to date her. I'm not looking for friends.

I think the best way to do this would be wait for an appropriate moment. Some stuff is more situational than others so you'll have to use your best judgment. Don't be overly-complimentary either because that just makes you seem eager. There is that one school of thought that suggests you should "neg" her and make her feel like she has to earn your respect or attention. Well, the odds are that she doesn't really care if she has it or not in this case so if I were you I would be careful with that.

Appropriate moment? How would I know?

Of course all of this is going to be hard if she isn't attracted to you in some way. It's not as simple as saying nice things and getting her affections in return. It might work once in a while because girls that age don't know any better but I wouldn't count on it. So before you go flirting up a storm, you need to have things on offer in addition to your attention to her. Are you fun? Good looking? Funny? Interesting? Challenging? Resourceful? Smart? Talented? Whatever you are, she needs to like it and want more of it. And every girl is different. Flirt to get her attention and build sexual tension, then keep her attention and earn her admiration somehow.

Yes I want to get her attention. I want to make myself stand out and not be just another guy in a class.

 

 

If you're flirting and she's receptive -- maybe if you can feel some sexual tension -- just ask her out. There's no reason to really over complicate things that much.

When and how do you start building sexual tension?

 

Pretend you are explaining this to a 16 year old who doesn't have a clue about women.

 

I know that I have to make women like me before they will go out on dates with me. How to do that is what confuses me. Very easily I fall into friend territory and I'm not looking to be just friends with girls. I only want to spend time with girls who know I am interested. That way I won't be in a situation where I like a girl and she thinks I just want to be friends.

[somedude81]

Sex isn't something you start talking about before you're involved romantically. Basically, you can't turn a relationship from friendly to sexual by doing anything other than being yourself and seeing who likes you.

From my experience, being myself leads women into only wanting to be friends with me.

 

I need women to see me, and understand that I don't want to be friends. I want to be a guy they can imagine sleeping with. So far I have crossed into that territory only one time with a girl, and I'm not too clear on how I did it.

I actually think you're doing the right thing just reciprocating and talking more to the girls who are being friendly to you to begin with. Once you are casual enough with them so you're talking about what each other is doing, for example, after work/school or over the weekend, that's how you get dates started. And you don't need to direct it to one girl but maybe suggest the small group you're talking to all go have a drink or see a movie. Then from there, you can possibly sit by the one you like and see if she seems comfortable and happy or not.

I'm not really talking to the girls in small groups.

 

I'm in three different classes and the girls are spread throughout the classes. None of the girls really talks to anybody else in their respective class.

 

I'm thinking about seeing if one of the girls I know who likes to drink would have a beer with me in the campus pub tomorrow since It's Saint Patrick day.

 

The other girls I don't really have any specific idea how to get them to see me outside of class.

[zebracolors]

The ability to flirt with girls has always been my biggest weakness in the dating game. It's easier to do when I have a pretty good idea a girl is into me and I can be more bold.

 

Its a weakness because you're so afraid of a negative response/rejection that you don't even try unless you "think" she may be into you. You'll never be thought of as a "guy that women imagine sleeping with" or make it clear you don't want to be placed in the friend zone with this fear. You should try to let go of that fear and not be so caught up in finding another girlfriend. Im not saying be yourself, just to be bold about what you want, both verbally and physically(and i don't mean throwing yourself at a girl).

[somedude81]

Its a weakness because you're so afraid of a negative response/rejection that you don't even try unless you "think" she may be into you. You'll never be thought of as a "guy that women imagine sleeping with" or make it clear you don't want to be placed in the friend zone with this fear. You should try to let go of that fear and not be so caught up in finding another girlfriend. Im not saying be yourself, just to be bold about what you want, both verbally and physically(and i don't mean throwing yourself at a girl).

I don't exactly have fear anymore. Definitely less fear than I did before I got my first girlfriend last year.

 

My biggest weakness is just not knowing what to say or how to be sexual. Or I don't know how to be slightly sexual, I can do all or nothing, but no innuendo.

[Eternal Sunshine]

In the co-ed dorms at college one of the athletes who lived there would walk around and chat with the girls while he had an erection poking out at them through his sweats.

 

Don't do that.

 

You can always just mention casually but seriously to the girl that you masturbated while thinking of her before class. You'll know you picked a winner if she laughs at you.

 

This

 

It's time to get bold SD.

[Emilia]

I think a good tool to use is the word "why." Both as a question and as an explanation. When you ask her why she thinks something, she shares her feelings with you and it's slightly more personal because she's sharing something about herself that's unique to her. It isn't visible. It's remotely intimate, you want to learn about her as a complex individual and not one that simply likes or doesn't like volleyball. It might be a minuscule fact but it's going to deepen the relationship proportionally. She's entrusting you with a little bit of herself and she's slightly flattered that you want to know about her feelings. You're starting to pop up on that sexual radar of hers, perhaps. There's an emotional affect. So do it and figure out how to do it more. Take the opportunity to explain why you like things or feel a certain way too. She might not like what you have to say, but there's a chance she might, and that's seemingly the only way her opinion about you is going to change and progress at this stage. It's still far from a guarantee that she'll like you, but it's much better than nothing.

 

Just my two cents, maybe some girls can give their thoughts.

This. Building sexual tension can start off really subtle. It can build with someone out of the blue whom you've known for ages but never really noticed until recently. You can also build it with someone on purpose.

 

I do the 'why' thing to guys when I sense they might be interested but they have a shell to get through. Not every guy is out there trying to catch a woman's attention. I draw them in by getting to know them, work out what makes them tick and start building a connection. People usually like it when you want to know why they do, think or feel something, unless they are really uncomfortable with you, in which case they shut you out.

 

I remember chatting up a guy years ago who was quite difficult. He had a tattoo that was unusual so I got him to talk about that, then we got on to his creativity and how he expresses himself, etc. By the end of the conversation he was smiling. I told him years after that I purposely chatted him up like that because he was a grumpy git and wouldn't give an inch. He just laughed. Even hard nuts can be cracked.

[somedude81]

Wow, I don't know if it's really hard to tell if someone is in to me, or if girls just long like me at all, which is why it looks like nobody is interested.

 

So far only one girl is giving me something that I'd call signals, but she has a boyfriend. And there is another guy in class that she spends more time talking to him than me. I could easily start spending time with her outside of class if I wanted to. But I can already start to feel myself liking her so it's not a good idea.

 

It's so hard to tell if a girl is looking for friends or actually interested in meeting guys to date.

 

I wish I understood what makes girls like guys.

 

Somehow, my ex GF started to like me while she had a boyfriend, and we only talked to each other in class. During that time I had no idea she liked me and I thought she was just being friendly.

 

Ugh, it's so complicated.

Edited March 17, 2014 by somedude81

[normal person]

 

What do you mean by test the waters?

 

I just mean your first attempt.

 

I'm also confused on what you mean by not have an ulterior motive.

 

Maybe I shouldn't have said that because it was obvious, but once you start to amp it up a little, you'll definitely cross the threshold between "he's that guy who talks to me sometimes" to "he's definitely flirting with me now, he likes me" in her eyes. It's not a bad thing until she doesn't like it.

 

 

Appropriate moment? How would I know?

 

There's no timeline, just make sure it's natural and not forced.

 

Yes I want to get her attention. I want to make myself stand out and not be just another guy in a class.

 

When and how do you start building sexual tension?

 

You need to change her opinion of you somehow. You need to do, say, or be something that's attractive to her or that makes feel something about you. This is a little sexual tension itself.

 

 

I know that I have to make women like me before they will go out on dates with me. How to do that is what confuses me. Very easily I fall into friend territory and I'm not looking to be just friends with girls. I only want to spend time with girls who know I am interested. That way I won't be in a situation where I like a girl and she thinks I just want to be friends.

 

Unfortunately there's no secret password that'll make her like you more than she does. Every girl is different. What's attractive or impressive to one might be off-putting to the next. Think about attraction on a basic level. Why do people like some people but not others? Some universally attractive traits are confidence, humor, wit, talent, modesty, intelligence, skill, etc. Adopt these traits as best you can to cast the widest net. Still, there will be some who won't like you for whatever reason. To get her to like you, the first step is action. You need to proactively put a thought, idea, feeling, whatever, from you out into her world. It will require some vulnerability. Whatever the thing is that you do, say, or be will induce judgment and opinion forming of you. You want that, and you want it to be the good kind and not bad. But doing nothing won't cut it, you need to do something that shapes opinion and/or feeling, whatever it is.

 

If you're worried about just being friends, you have to let her know that you want a little more. She'll get the idea when you cross the threshold into flirting with her. So take it a step further. Introduce the sexual undertone. Touch her a bit (respectively), tease her a little, tell her you think she's cute (confidently), whatever. Communicate interest verbally or non-verbally. If she's receptive or even better, reciprocal, just ask her out. If you have attractive qualities that she likes and you show interest in her, I don't see why she wouldn't go out with you if you ask.