JacquelineOh Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Hey everyone, I am 23 - I've only ever had one boyfriend and we broke up about a year ago. I have never really been on a "date" with someone before. However, a guy I met at a bar last week has asked me out and I agreed to go. The problem is, I only spoke to him for about 10 minutes and I am really REALLY nervous about this date on Friday night! He originally suggested dinner, but I knocked him down to drinks. Now I am afraid I might even cancel that... Can anyone help psyche me up for this dreaded first date? What if we have nothing to say to each other? What if he finds me annoying?? I am really clueless about these things, and am afraid that I'll screw it up! Link to post Share on other sites
Gem Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Jacqueline, Good thing you took it down to drinks. Dinner is too long to suffer thru if you aren't having a good time with a new person. Just be yourself when you go out with him...look as good as possible, cause men are very visual...and then you don't have to always be talking, he can be doing some looking...let him ask you about yourself, and then don't go into long winded answers...keep it light, keep it light...mantra to chant. You can always ask him about current things, like good place to go to eat in town, movie he last saw, book read lately...KEEP IT LIGHT! Gem Link to post Share on other sites
Zoot Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Enjoy a couple of cocktails and see it that helps you to open up. If not, he will probably find your shyness as being attractive and will move on from there. Just be who you are - that's what falling in love is all about. If you have to pretend or be something you aren't - then this guys isn't for you. IF he isn't for you - at least GET DINNER out of the date!! LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
JacquelineOh Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Thanks for this advice, it's great. I feel a teensy weensy little bit less nervous now. Although I still feel anxious whenever I think about it. I feel like I'm going for an interview or something! My sister keeps telling me to just relax - he asked me out, so he should be the one to have the burden of carrying the date. I feel like it's more of a mutual obligation, though! I will definately try to look as good as possible, though he came up to me based on looks alone so I'm not overly worried about that. When I'm nervous, though, I do tend to talk really fast about nothing... I come off as a complete ditz! I'm a doctor but no one believes me at first coz I look and sound like a dumb blonde. Maybe I should think of some questions to ask him so I won't be opening my big mouth as much... Yes, I will definately be into the drinks, but I'm a cheap drunk so I have to be careful not to overdo it... Ah, so much could go wrong! I really don't think all of this anxiety is normal... Some of my friends go on blind dates all the time. I'm blowing this way out of proportion. I even considered taking a xanax before heading out. Now that's scary! Link to post Share on other sites
theedge Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 My girlfriend was bad when we were meeting. I met her online and one of her friends picked me out and took control of the keyboard when my girlfriend was watching. After chatting several times I asked her out. She was extremely shy and nervous. The way she protected herself was to ask if her friend could come on the 1st meeting. It worked out in the end even if she had panic attacks before meeting me. Link to post Share on other sites
JacquelineOh Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I know that nervousness isn't the most attractive characteristic in someone. I would never never meet up with this guy sober, for that reason. I guess I'm also scared that if he asks me out again, and I again suggest a bar over dinner, he'll think I'm an alcoholic or something! I'm not... I just need to be very gently eased into new situations. Hmmm.... Link to post Share on other sites
Gem Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Jacqueline O Did you ever go on the date? Most guys will be receptive to drinks rather than dinner; they won't think you are an alcoholic? I too find it easier if I drink a little bit, helps me to lighten up...but don't over do it, no need to. Its better to be in control of yourself. But a little alcohol goes a long way toward relieving jitters. Thats so funny that you are a Doctor, but come across as blonde ditz! I think that could work to your advantage, because you will not be intellectually threatening to a new man, and then you can ease him into that side of yourself slowly. Just remember, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! At least you are good looking (he was attracted to you because of your looks~no surprise there!). So you should have half the battle won, I always say good looking creates a lot of traffic...some women aren't lucky enough to even get traffic. So you are ahead of the game. Have fun with it. Dating is silly. Men like silly. Go for it. Gem Link to post Share on other sites
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