Really sad.

[sunnyeli]

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 6 years.

 

My best friend (who is a girl btw) developed feelings for me a few years ago. I didn't take it seriously. I adored her as a friend. She said she loved me, but I told myself 'it's just a crush, she's exaggerating.' It was easier for me to think of it that way, because I didn't want to believe I was hurting her.

 

I told her sorry, that my girlfriend is the love of my life, and nothing will ever happen between her and me.

 

Now she's met a guy, and I've been dropped. No friendship anymore.

 

I was happy for her as well I breathed a sigh of relief and thought, 'great, there won't be any awkwardness anymore because she likes me.' But now she's treating me like some kind of ex(!) Nothing has ever even happened between us, I was always faithful to my girlfriend obviously, because I love her.

 

So she's not replying to my texts for days! We talked every single day before this. She was like the Sister I never had. But now she has a boyfriend and she's being extremely cold to me, basically acting like she hates my guts. I haven't done anything!

 

I'm really hurt about this. We're barely speaking. She's going to miss my wedding and everything I want to 'man up', but a part of me is crushed. She was an important person in my life.

 

My girlfriend said she saw this coming a mile off. She said my best friend hated her and that she was just waiting on her chance to get with me. When it didn't happen, she eventually met a dude and it was a way for her to 'monkey branch' to someone else emotionally (even though we were never together?)

 

Any input would be great guys. Thank you.

Edited March 13, 2014 by sunnyeli
Grammar nerd

[Copelandsanity]

I understand how much this hurts but I would let her go. You know how people put their romantic interests on a pedestal? Don't put your friendship with her on a pedestal. True friends don't act like that. If she comes back to you and apologizes, then you can consider accepting her apology.

[newmoon]

it kinda sounds like you want your cake and want to eat it too. you want your gf and you still want the attention of your female friend on the side, perhaps hoping that she still admires you/likes you. you can't realistically have both, especially if you want your gf to remain happy. if she's truly the love of your life then she comes first and this is a good opportunity to let your friend go on with her life. why shouldn't she ignore you? she found someone who actually likes her and wants to be with her. be happy for her. gf's do this to each other all the time; and then we often reconnect when the bf has been dumped and she needs comforting. but you sound rather selfish to me and I'd let it go until/unless she wants to reconnect.

 

 

your gf's statement has some validity. women do that kind of stuff - use a friend as 'crutch' even when there is nothing romantic. but you should still let her go. she probably did harbor feelings still and now just resents you for never finding her the catch her new bf does - she's probably not going to like you much. imo.

Edited March 14, 2014 by newmoon

[Hope Shimmers]

Been there and done that.

 

Your 'best friend' thought of you as more than a best friend and that's why she gave you the attention she did.

 

Now she has moved on and met another man so she is no longer focusing her daily attention on you, but rather focuses on him. She now is interested in him and wants him. It's that simple.

 

If your girlfriend is the 'love of your life' then do the same. Focus the attention on her that you were giving to this female friend.

 

My bet is that there is a not insignificant part of you that enjoyed the fact that she wanted you then and now that she doesn't, it hurts. If I am wrong, no big deal. Wish her well with her new relationship! I am sure that if you truly were best friends, you will reconnect in that way in the future.