"Scaring away" a platonic friend... I hope that I didn't do this!

[InsideOut]

Hi everybody!

 

I need a female perspective (preferrably) for my question... thank you if you can offer to me yours...

 

A female and I have a great friendship. We have RIDICULOUSLY so much in common... in fact, I consider her as my soulmate! (Whether she regards me the same way... that's another topic!) We're both in our late 20s. We've shared in many things. The relationship is strictly platonic, and we're very comfortable with this. (Well I am, and she's shown to me her belief of the same.) We've chatted with and laughed at each other for hundreds of hours!

 

I praise all of my friends, always encouraging and supporting them. I believe that this is what friends do for each another! My friend is out of town, far away, and we had been exchanging emails weekly. We always had kinds words to say, "you're an amazing, awesome person... it's hard to come by people who are so sincere as you... you're so caring... etc."

 

In my last email to her, I continued my praise of her, "I value what you have to say... you are my true friend... I value you so much!... you will be so successful and I believe in you... I'm so glad to have met you... I had an awesome, unbelievable experience with you... " I said these things dispersed in the email, not all in one line!

 

You see, I have no problem expressing my feelings about my friends to them... life is too short, I always listen to my heart, I act on my intuition; plus I feel that people need to hear that they're appreciated and supported... it feels wonderful to give and receive it! I have always said very similar things to her in person, and I would be very comfortable to saying those things to her again.

 

I haven't heard back from her since my last email. I understand that to express what I said very early in a romantic relationship is not ideal (scaring her away, etc.)... but this is my platonic friend I'm talking about!

 

My questions are these: (1) if a male friend praises a close female friend the way that I did, would she "freak out"? I don't think she should... I believe that friends treat friends like friends... whether it be a guy or gal! Or did I miss something here?!

 

Also, (2) if I did scare her away, why? Like I said, she's one of the best people that I know and she's expressed the same about me... it'd be a real shame for us to part.

 

I don't have any sisters to ask for advice, so I'd like to ask you for some honest feedback!

 

Thank you for your time and attention.

[Pocky]

I value what you have to say... you are my true friend... I value you so much!... you will be so successful and I believe in you... I'm so glad to have met you... I had an awesome, unbelievable experience with you... " I said these things dispersed in the email, not all in one line!

 

Honestly, if you said this to me I'd tell you to put the crack pipe down. While I wouldn't be put off by it or stop talking to you, I'd probably just blow it off and let a few days pass before I responded.

 

It's great to compliment people and make them feel good about themselves. It's another thing to shower them with adoration. What you wrote sounds like infatuation to me and not just a friend telling another friend how special they are. I understand that you want to share your positive outlook on the relationship with her, but maybe some moderation would be better.

[mt_joy]

Tone it down a little. Everyone loves compliments, but that is going overboard. Throw in 1 or 2 compliments that flow with your email, but that was too many. I know you meant well, but that sounds a bit obsessive. Life IS short adn you should let your friends know how awesome they are. Just don't shower them in your adoration. It can be scary. But I must say, it is great that, as a guy, you can let your true feelings be known aren't afraid of it. Give her time. Email her in a week or so and ask her if she's doing okay. Make it short and simple with no compliments.

 

Joy

MT Student