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Risk of rebound zoned


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Hello,

Here is my story, I will try to make it as short as possible.

My best friends fiance has a sister, let's call her Jenny. We first met around one year ago, and after this maybe 10-15 times on diffrent occasions. We don't talked too much, but since some time it was clear that she likes me. This feeling was mutual, but I decided to don't make any move because she has a boyfriend for almost 5 years. She was thinking about breaking up with him because things wasn't great, but she still loved him.

 

One month ago there was a party at friends house (and then in the club). Bunch of friends and of course Jenny. Since the begining there was a little tension in the air and I think that something could happen. And it happend... We went to the club, and while waiting in line she kissed me in the lips. In the club we french kissed few times, every time she started it. At some point she told me that she can't because she had a boyfriend. I respected this, we have a little fun, topic closed. Next day she texted me that she broke up with bf last night... I was NOT a reason, she just felt that was the time for this. We live close to each other, so I offer her my support. I still don't wanna make any move because of two reasons:

- in the past she told me that when she broke up, she will need a lot time to be alone

- when we try and it will not work out and we broke up, that will be awkward when we met with our friends (and in this situation it was huge risk it will not work out)

 

So I was planing to be close to her, we will know each other better and in the future I will tell her about my feelings. I know that this was a HUGE risk to be friendzoned, but to be true, I care about her and her happines so that was acceptable risk. Still, there is always way out from friend zone ;) Ok, so we start texting a lot and met few times. I was trying to keep it easy, almost every time she texted first, and all the meetings was her idea (I also cancel two meetings). I don't wanna let her know that I want something more, that was not time for this. We talk about casual stuff as friends, no kissing or even holding hands. Just friends talk. I think everything was ok, since last monday.

 

And here is conclusion.

She texted me that she want to talk seriously with me. We met, walk around park and talked as usual, and sudenly she told me that thing I was affraid most... She was thinking about me too much and that is bad for us. She likes me a lot, care of me and she don't wan't to hurt me. She is sure, that if we will continue to hang out, I will be her rebound bf, and she doesn't want this. So she asked me to stop any contact, and maybe we will meet at vacations, no sooner :( Also one day after she was going to met with her ex because she was still struggling with the decision if the break out was good idea (she still loves him). It was yesterday, I don't know what happend, maybe they are back together, I don't know.

 

I agreed with her decision with stoping contact...

I don't told her about my feelings (which developed in the last month), because I don't want to messed in her head before meeting with ex...

We kissed in the lips for the goodbye (she started the kiss), and that's end of this story...

 

I don't know what to do next... I care about her, I really like her, she is in my type, perfect girl for me... I think that the best way is to wait until she will be ready. But I really want to go her, hold in my arms, kiss and tell I don't care about being rebound bf, I just wanna be with her. Of course I don't wanna be a rebound bf ;)

 

Really don't know what to do... She still loves her ex, and I don't think she will forget about him anytime soon... I can't talk to any friend about this, she asked me to keep our relationship in secret, so I can't risk it to tell someone close to me. But I must talk to someone, maybe this forum will help me sort this out...

 

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

Cheers

 

PS. sorry for my english, it's not my native language

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