RedHawk08 Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 So for a year now, Ive been figting to save my marriage. After waiting for a year I'm forced to do it myself. I grew tired of taking that deep breath before checking the mail. I had also been told "I miss you too" only for that and our wonderful meeting denied a week later. So I left a voicemail stating that I would be filing for divorce myself. As I have grounds that he court would be more likely to accept. Our issues are resolved my side, so her case runs the risk of being rejected. I was calm, friendly and helpful. But assertive too. Now, here's what I'm scratching my head to understand... She's furious! She wanted a divorce, now she's getting it for free with no hassle or effort. Why be upset?! Ego? Maybe she doesn't want it after all? Either way, this madness has to end! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tom amoss Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 Redhawk. In exactly the same boat as you, filled for divorce this month, as I need this madness to end, and was told by a friend that she was shocked. But she wanted this!, I didn’t leave her. I think they think that they need to be control, and when things are not in there game plan they react. Ether way, I have to get this done. I still love my wife, but I can’t love for the two of us. It’s a crazy situation when we have to end the marriage, but would dearly love to fix it! What got me was that through her solicitor, she wants to use mediation to sort the finances, YAH, I wanted mediation to sort the marriage, but that was thrown in my face, so forget sitting round a table to sort the money out, it can be done through the solicitors. I could not face seeing her again, my heart would just melt. Hang in there Tom Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 You shouldn't push a cart sideways. It's wise to leave when you realize there's no more to be done. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedHawk08 Posted March 14, 2014 Author Share Posted March 14, 2014 As upset as I am tonight, I have to keep reminding myself that the woman I fell in love with, and she with me is no longer the same person. The fairytale marriage that happened against the odds due to the love and support of my family, is over. Treated as "just a piece of paper" by people she considers friends. Hey one day she'll wake up and remember the man she saw many years ago. She'll see how he grew into an even better man in the face of adversity. I'm proud of myself for all I've done. But it's time to say goodbye. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 She's just mad that you're not work on her timetable. Makes her feel like you're forcing her hand. Totally unreasonable. Link to post Share on other sites
Steadfast Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Hey one day she'll wake up and remember the man she saw many years ago. She'll see how he grew into an even better man in the face of adversity. Maybe, maybe not. Don't base your healing on what she thinks, might think or any other emotional response. Don't hitch your happiness on her unhappiness. That said, it's a positive to retain your self worth and esteem. Lots have filed for a divorce they never wanted. I have no statistics, but I'm fairly confident most divorces are pretty one sided. Like the song says; "Happens everyday, someone walks away and someone's hanging on." Regarding her anger? Hard to say. My ex didn't show much emotion through the process, but (true to form) changed her tune after everything was final. She acted shocked...or like she was in shock, but it was just an act. She probably thinks you expected a response and gave you one. Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 RH.. what you did is good because YOU are taking control. That is most likely why she is upset. Link to post Share on other sites
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