Hit rock bottom. Financial debt, escorts, drugs.. Want to get up and win again.

[hittherockbottom]

Hit rock bottom. Absolutely rock bottom.

 

24 year old long time lurker needs advices to get on top again.

 

Here is my story. I loved a girl once and she dumped me 10 months ago. Devastated, no eat, no sleep, no lift. After 2 months of desperation, I started to get my chit together, ate healthy, hit gym, focused on work lots more efficiently, hit on girls wherever I see them. Anyway, things started to get together, started to look good, socialize, my boss was happy with my performance, hooked up couple of girls, even had a short term gf. Then by time, I started to lose my focus and started to live by work-home routine. I'm not mentioning about my ex's attempts to reach me every 3 weeks.

 

We met last month, hooked up, and got my feels back. She left me again. When I feel sad, I get into a self-destructive routine. Stopped going gym, started seeing escorts, started to smoke pot (I have asthma) and got into a huge debt by non-caring money spilling. I even have quiz tomorrow and didn't even study. It will be painful result in couple of months. My work efficiency dropping, boss is not happy at all. Social skill? Zero. Almost no friends.

 

Only positive thing happened is that I had a date last week. It was good and I feel like, this girl might be the one. She seem so cool and very fun to be around. I am going to meet her again next week. Monday and saturday.

 

I just want to get out of this pit and get my chit together. Anyone ever felt this worthless and found some motivation to pick his/her chit together and really picked it up? What should I do?

[JennHenn]

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this. You'll be alright. We all go through tough times like this, I have definitely felt this low before. But what I try to tell myself now if that these lows are not permanent. But neither are the highs. Nothing is.

 

I was in a similar situation to you and thought that things might never improve. But they did. I look back now and realise that I was wrong to think that I'd never feel better. But I'd also be wrong to think that, because I'm feeling good now, I always will. Sometimes you've just got to go with it for a bit, because this part of your life is temporary.

 

Sorry, that turned into a bit of a ramble and it probably doesn't help much Just how I see things now though

[OhThatGirl]

You met a girl you think might be the one? Ohhhh no.

 

You need to leave women alone for a while. Really.. You will just mask the underlying issues with a new girl. This is stuff that needs to be sorted out while you are 100% single and on your own.

 

First priority is focusing on work. You have at least one good thing going for you and that is your JOB. It pays you. Don't mess with that. Go to work, give it your all, hang onto it like a lifeline. The rest of the stuff will need to be sorted out too but do not do anything to put your job in jeopardy as that will just make your other issues 1000 times worse.

 

Next.. Have you considered counseling? It sounds like you could be struggling with coping skills. You mention pretty severe depression after the end of your relationship (which is normal!) but the problems arise when you start compensating with drug use, escorts, other women. Until you find healthy ways of coping, the ability to make and keep friendships, ways to reduce your stress and depression that won't hurt you personally or financially, this trend will continue!

 

Working out is excellent. But you need more. Counseling may help you figure out what tools can help when you start feeling down.

 

Essentially, focus on work. Hold off on that other girl because if it doesn't work out chances are you will end up back in a mess like you are now.

[Charlie Harper]

The core of your problem is that you believe you need someone to have motivation to get yourself together. You need to be responsible for yourself and work your a s to do it and as you say get you chit.

 

counseling would be great .

[Mr Scorpio]

Perhaps you should consider what you want out of life in the long-term. Rather than focusing on the pain of losing your ex, focus on what you want your future to look like, and how you can go about getting there. Once you figure that out, devote your self to that image.

 

 

Odds are decent that blowing money on hookers and weed isn't going to be part of that. In order to abstain from that, you only need to remind yourself what you want and how you'll get there. In order to do that, you have to overcome

.

[OhThatGirl]

^^spot on

 

That clip made me laugh.

[Eternal Sunshine]

"Whenever you think you have hit rock bottom, you realize there is even further to fall" - ES