whirl3daway Posted March 14, 2014 Share Posted March 14, 2014 this might be a bit long. i am 26, the only child of my parents. my father and mother met in india when he was 18, and she was 13. he was bad news then, and bad news now. he was/is an alcoholic, beat my mom often, had affairs. she married him (lack of a father figure in her life) and they had me. while she was preggo, he beat her often and threw her around and kicked her out. like a typical abused woman, she never left. they moved to the us before i was born. the abuse, etc continued here. one of my earliest memories is my father chasing my mom around the kitchen table with a knife. drunken rages were common. when i was in school, i apparently began speaking out about it and the school told my mother to leave or they would have to call cps. she left, and my father lost his mind. he had visitation but one day he picked me up from school in a limo and told me we were going on a trip. i was 6 or 7. he kidnapped me and took me back to india for 4 years. i didn't see my mother in this time (my main guardian) or speak to her often (perhaps 4-5 times). he brainwashed me against her. i have fuzzy memories of sexual abuse. he would drink and rage and often verbally abused me, but physically only a few times. the abuse was fairly constant. when he wasn't abusive, he was ignoring me, shut away in his room by himself. he didn't work this entire time. we came back here when we ran out of money. my college fund. i lived with him for a few years but he was still abusive. once my friends parents called the cops on him - he stopped the physical side after that. he had locked me in a closet. he spent the majority of the time either ignoring me or berating me. i got called names and grounded and berated if i messed up on my grades, but he never helped or even cared if i did homework. he didn't care if i ate. he didn't care if i even woke up to go to school, unless i didn't, and then he would flip instantly. he broke and threw several of my possessions that i paid for. i moved out when i was 14, to my mom's. we have a crap relationship also as you can imagine. we've never gotten over what happened, and also she has some mental issues of her own. she's very self-centered and is all about image. she loves and cares for me, but it's almost an afterthought. we have a very strained relationship. i moved out of that when i was 18. since then, i've had several bad relationships. as one can imagine, i was fairly broken by this entire situation. i tried to get my parents to get me into therapy but my dad didn't have me on his health insurance and then claimed it was too expensive and too "americanized" of me to want therapy. when i was 23, i started realizing how crazy what happened to me is. that it is child abuse, that is a felony. that my father should be in jail. when we came back to the US, my father was arrested. my mom chose not file charges. i tried to speak to him about it, but as i said, he is a narcissist and does not think he did anything wrong. he did it because "he didn't like the way I was being raised in this country by my mother." because she was living with a muslim friend. hah. anyway, i made the decision to cut my father off about 2 years ago. i missed him for a long time but my life is much better without him in it. he is a liar. he has been married 4 times. i haven't been to any of the weddings. he lied to his therapist and said he was staying with me while he went to india to hang out with the newest one. he lied to this wife about the relationship he has with me. he lied to the therapist about what really happened. lies lies lies lies. he's just a liar. i have been in therapy for all this and i am working on it. but i seem to get involved with men that are LIKE this somehow... cold, calculating, emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, yet highly intelligent. i don't really know why i'm posting this again. i was wondering if anyone else has had any experiences with parental kidnapping, with RAD, with BPD resulting from these things. i have been trying to find resources but it is lonely. not many people are blessed with the fortune of having parents crazy enough to kidnap them. Link to post Share on other sites
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