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Social anxiety coming back


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TigerLilly78

Not totally sure what im looking to get out of this thread guess just any insight or advice basically. Back story when I was young I was very socially awkward and nervous. When I hit my 20s all that seamed to fade away and I enjoyed a normal social life for a while. But after moving alot and going thu alot of stress and some abuse.

 

I now find myself in my 30s and right back to being socially withdrawn and nervous around people. The only thing is I kinda like it most times thats a bad thing isn't it? I think im just sick of peoples bull ****. I don't know maybe its just a phase I kinda don't like the nervousness tho.

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whichwayisup

Start journaling your thoughts and feelings. What makes you feel anxious, situations, people etc..

 

Get the book by Sam Obitz, "been there, done that, try this!" Or any Dr Burns books on anxiety are so helpful.

 

Have you thought about counseling? CBT, aka cognitive behaviour therapy is very helpful when it comes to anxiety disorders. Try the books and do google CBT therapists in your area.

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TigerLilly78

Thank you I will def look into your suggestions im also thinking it could be linked to stress! The last 10 years of my life pretty much have been a powder keg strapped to a rollocoaster of stress. So im starting to wonder if its not a coping mechanism to shut out the stress...

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HeartbrokenNewbie

U need to go see a doctor... this is anxiety at its best... I suffered for years thinking I had a social anxiety disorder (I used to be outgoing and confident) I finally went to see a Dr and he diagnosed depression (the anxiety was a side effect) 1 year on tablets and as good as new :-D x dont suffer x

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If it's a true anxiety disorder then you probably should try and get a diagnosis by a therapist. There are many ways to treat anxiety. Sometimes meds and also more holistic approaches like CBT, meditation, acupuncture, yoga, just to name a few. I'd see a doc to start. One should not have to feel that anxious. Good luck up you! :-)

 

Mea :-)

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endlessabyss
Not totally sure what im looking to get out of this thread guess just any insight or advice basically. Back story when I was young I was very socially awkward and nervous. When I hit my 20s all that seamed to fade away and I enjoyed a normal social life for a while. But after moving alot and going thu alot of stress and some abuse.

 

I now find myself in my 30s and right back to being socially withdrawn and nervous around people. The only thing is I kinda like it most times thats a bad thing isn't it? I think im just sick of peoples bull ****. I don't know maybe its just a phase I kinda don't like the nervousness though.

 

I have been suffering from the same ailment for the last several years, and I share the same sentiments with the bolded.

 

Most of the time I like being isolated away from people, because of all the drama, arguing, and bickering they bring into my life. I know some people have mastered the socializing skill, and don't make enemies, but it has been the opposite for me.

 

Even though I am an easygoing person, people still tend to give me a hard time in most situations.

 

As for solving the problem, I don't know what to say. You can try the medicine/therapy route if you'd like. For me personally, I am anti-medication, and therapy didn't really do a lot of help for me.

 

Right now I'm just trying to keep a more balanced thought pattern, and be more kinder to myself.

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The only thing is I kinda like it most times thats a bad thing isn't it? I think im just sick of peoples bull ****.

 

x1000. You sound exactly like me, except imo 90% of people fall into 2 categories, idiots and ***holes. For me that whole thing happened in a much shorter time span, only time i didn't have social anxiety was about 19-22. I'm 25 now, and if i didn't have to go to the bank and get groceries i'd never leave my house at all. Sadly i have no solutions for you

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whichwayisup

Once you have anxiety it'll always be in your life at times. It's learning how to cope and deal with it, not letting it control you is the key. Not to be afraid and push yourself hard to work through the panic wave.

 

Talk to your friends and family, those you trust. Going through it alone is hard, so do reach out!

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The usual course of treatment for social anxiety is a combination of anti-anxiety medication and CBT, where you not only work on understanding where your fears are coming from and develop more healthy self talk to combat those fears, but the therapist will also likely encourage you to force yourself to get into more social situations where you can learn to manage your anxiety in those situations. The therapist might teach you relaxation techniques to use when your anxiety kicks in, but basically, therapy involves changing your dysfunctional thinking that is contributing to the anxiety, and changing your behavior to get involved in more social situations. The act of avoiding social situations actually increases your anxiety about them.

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x1000. You sound exactly like me, except imo 90% of people fall into 2 categories, idiots and ***holes. For me that whole thing happened in a much shorter time span, only time i didn't have social anxiety was about 19-22. I'm 25 now, and if i didn't have to go to the bank and get groceries i'd never leave my house at all. Sadly i have no solutions for you

I hear you and relate. People on this thread act like it is the victims fault that they have been screw around all their lives. Like society does not play a part in someone that does not want to cope with other people anymore. I have been very good to people ( especially women) only to get hurt very bad. Ever since I turn 30 (48 now) I have been a loner. I could careless. When it comes a time I cannot take care of my self anymore I will put myself asleep. I already know what happens to old people in rest homes. They get abused. Who in the hell wants to live like that. I can honestly say I have never had a true friend in my life. Only users. People are all for their selves

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Yeah... I've been there. Here's a perspective from the 'other side.' I grew up seeming like an extremely social person, I could talk to almost anyone and quickly make friends. Yet once I hit my late 20's I realized that few of those "friends" ever called, and in fact I rarely thought about them. All I made were very superficial connections and the reason was, I never shared anything real about myself. I always had a guard up, I remember Sunday night before school I would think through the best answer to give when someone asks "hey what'd you do over the weekend?" Then I would try to shoot holes in that story. All this to manicure a facade... As I dug deeper, I realized that I was terrified of rejection and didn't hold myself in the esteem which people thought I did. A lot of times, I would imagine people were "talking about me behind my back," or I would read too far into the smallest gestures or comments. This made me view people as "*******s" or untrustworthy, but the issue was all within me! Talking about my fears was one of the most helpful things for me in the end, and this is something I'm still working on.

 

My friend is trying to collect people's fears (anonymously), his thesis is that people who are feel a freeing effect from talking about their fears and people who read feel comforted that they are not alone. Check it out if you're so inclined!

 

http://http://www.lifeguides.me/fear/

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I agree with HeartbrokenNewbie. Go see a doctor and describe the problem OPENLY and COMPLETELY to him/her. The current slate of anti-depressive meds will help you immensely. You will be amazed. Don't be ashamed; this problem is much more prevalent than you might imagine. You are not alone.

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Anxiety is not an illness. It is a normal human response to ambiguous or potentially challenging or dangerous situations in life which is fraught with anxiety-arousing situations.

 

 

We people who take these drugs as a routine measure to insulate ourselves from life’s multivariate challenges and vicissitudes are not medicated. We are stoned. The damage is evident when one investigates the results of long term use and the osteo porosis, calcification of the brain, brain shrinkage, destruction of white matter, corkscrewed axons, liver and other organ damage caused by these happy pills.

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Anxiety is not an illness. It is a normal human response to ambiguous or potentially challenging or dangerous situations in life which is fraught with anxiety-arousing situations.

 

 

We people who take these drugs as a routine measure to insulate ourselves from life’s multivariate challenges and vicissitudes are not medicated. We are stoned. The damage is evident when one investigates the results of long term use and the osteo porosis, calcification of the brain, brain shrinkage, destruction of white matter, corkscrewed axons, liver and other organ damage caused by these happy pills.

I agree 100% with this post. Let alone all the memory loss. I recently talk to a girl that I dated back in my 20s that has been on these pills all her miserable life. She could barely remember my name moreless anything else about me. She is pretty much brain dead.

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