Always feeling like the strict, no-fun parent

[Hope4thefuture]

I am very lucky. My STBX and I will be sharing custody of our 3 boys. They stay with me every Monday and Tuesday. He gets them every Wednesday and Thursday. We alternate weekends, but I get them every Sunday night.

 

I also get to pick them up from school every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday due to his work schedule. So I see my boys everyday of the week. I absolutely cherish seeing them every chance I get. I miss them when they are not here.

 

Since I either have them or see them most days, I do all the things needed for school. We do homework together. We do the everyday routine together. Most weekdays there is not a lot of time for fun and games. We try to enjoy our weekends together by doing fun activities. Don't get me wrong, many of the fun activities are playing board games, building something with Legos. Things I can do with my boys that they enjoy.

 

When they go to their dad's place, the homework is already finished. So they get to eat dinner and play video games. On the weekends it is the same thing.

I am not trying to bash their dad. I know he is doing the best he can. I feel as if he gets to be the fun carefree dad, and I get to be the mom who makes them do work with less of the fun.

 

I guess I just wish it was more balanced.

 

I feel like there are times when I get so stressed. I work during the day, come home and help my kids with their work, do the bed time routine, read to them, talk about their day. Sometimes I get short with them and I regret it right away. I am trying to be the best mom I can. Some days I feel like I am letting them down.

 

If anyone is in the same boat as me, how do you balance the work with the fun?

[Mr.Milked]

The easy answer is:

After the work gets done, we can have fun.

There is your balance.

 

 

Keep in mind that you are building structure in their lives foremost and they will love you more for that.

[Mr.Milked]

I see your first post now and understand these feelings. Best thing you can do is to let them do everything they can together and you just keep being the best mom you can be. Trust me when I say that these feelings will eventually leave you when you look back and can honestly say that you did the best you could for them.

 

 

Let the kids have a good time dad for a while...

[No Limit]

Once your boys have grown up they will appreciate the work and time you've put into them far more than any video game.

(Except for maybe Elder Scrolls. )

 

And as long as you and your children have a tensefree time, it's quite alright really. And you won't be pushed back when they are older and spend their weekends at friends' houses etc.

[Mr.Milked]

Once your boys have grown up they will appreciate the work and time you've put into them far more than any video game.

(Except for maybe Elder Scrolls. )

 

And as long as you and your children have a tensefree time, it's quite alright really. And you won't be pushed back when they are older and spend their weekends at friends' houses etc.

Imagine mom getting Elder Scrolls?

 

 

I shudder the thought of mom using that to get me to do chores!

[KathyM]

I think scheduling a time for fun with your kids would be a good idea, and that can be done to some extent on weeknights as well as weekends. When my kids were younger, we would have our homework time after dinner and our playtime before dinner, or vice versa. I think playtime is important, and should be given a priority, even if it is just for an hour. All work and no play makes kids stressed out and unhappy. They need a break after school or in the evening to unwind and have fun. It shouldn't be all about chores and homework.