Does indifference attract women?

[Anela]

Lol its actually hilarious. Put yourself in a guys shoes and Imagine saying that...guy says "I'm repelled by indifference, if a girl isn't pursuing, I'm already moving on"

 

 

You see how funny that is? If guys didn't pursue and make all the initial moves then non of us would get anywhere because women sure as hell don't expect to have to show willingness and interest at a first glance.

 

 

I'm not moaning. Its just an observation and from a guys point of view the more we put ourselves out there with confidence and eagerness to gain a woman's affections the more chance of being successful we will be. It's just trial and error and its all part of the game.

 

 

I think a good time for a guy to show indifference if he wants a woman's attention is after he's already peaked her interest. it's just a role reversal and is actually quite a healthy thing because it shows how interested she really is or isn't as the case may be.

 

It's very rare that a man only hasn't asked a woman out, because he's shy, as ES mentioned. I can only think of one, actually, and they're married now, but he would have asked her out eventually. The only reason my friend asked him out, was because she *knew* he was interested, the man certainly wasn't indifferent to her.

[KathyM]

I don't believe indifference will serve you well in dating/romance. It will likely make women think you are standoffish, unsocial, or have social anxiety issues. Women are attracted to men who show confidence and interest. Men who value themselves and are not acting desperate or are pests, but who show a genuine interest.

[Frank2thepoint]

There is a fine line between displaying indifference and showing interest. If you are too indifferent, women will assume you are not interested in them at all, and as many women have stated on here, they will not bother with you. If you show too much interest, then you are a creep, too eager, which will cause women to avoid you. In addition, that fine line is completely dependent on the woman's attraction to you. Highly subjective. There can easily be one woman that thinks you are too indifferent, and one that thinks you are too interested, and both can be in the same room with you. You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. Personally, I show genuine interest and get my answer real quick if the woman is interested or not. That way I have no regrets and know that I have not wasted my time.

[GemmaUK]

I love some indifference.

 

I like 'some' interest but only in so much as 'didn't you used to walk 'x' route in the mornings? I think it was you who I would see on my way home from a night shift'.

 

..an then we chatted a bit...

 

I've seen him around a few times and we went from recognition and a smile to another chat.

He's polite, pleasant, not 'good looking' but attractive (to me).

 

I think he likes me but he hasn't pounced to ask me out or anything..

 

This has been slow and over a few months.

 

With many women familiarity but also indifference/not jumping straight in really works.

 

This is also pretty much how I met my partner of 14 years too back when I was 22. That was over 5 months of bumping into each other after the first time we met.

[Disillusioned]

About 20 years ago I tried to be indifferent to at least 2 women I didn't like.

 

The first was a foul-mouthed, child-sized woman who smoked a lot and hat a face that reminded me of a rat wearing glasses. She apparently thought giants have oversize johnnies. The only thing that saved me was when a sly-guy coworker "stole" her away from me.

 

The second was a fat, stubborn woman who had her coworkers trained to jump at her every scream. The sly-guy mentioned above HATED her... she thought (wrongly) that I enjoyed being bossed around, and for a couple of years she made my working life hell. Luckily she fell for some sly-guy outside the workplace and had a calf---I mean, baby---by him.

[L1ght]

The last time I was indifferent with a partner was when I was on a rebound and it seems the more like an assh*le I acted the more into me she became. Now I'm not proud of it and I do realise that I should have given myself more time to heal before jumping into someone elses bed but its definitely a topic worth exploring because from my point of view maybe indifference from a guy should be taken as a warning sign that he has and will have other things on his mind that he needs to deal with.

 

 

lol so what does that say about you ladies? 99% of the time you do show indifference yet its still a guys job to buckle up and make a move.....my question is, should we be afraid? Like very very afraid?

[SpringBaby]

I have a male friend of mine, late 40's, claims one of the women he's dated was into him because he was indifferent. I got an idea of what that means, but basically compared to other men in our social circle, he was least to really approach her at bare minimum or didn't really ask questions about her. Just mainly keeping it light and small talk.

 

Since I know him well, I would watch him and he'd just mainly sit on the sidelines talking to other men if it's a woman its only happenstance she shows up next to him and really just talk about whatever is going on in the present moment.

 

Questions personal in nature would come up organically and usually at a later time at future events she would happen to be at. He isn't much for bombarding a women with "getting to know you questions", but mostly about whatever is happening currently...usually within the room or the event itself.

 

He said instead of sitting with the rest of the group, he'd be the only one that would sit up alone at the bar. He rarely introduced himself or took initiative to get to know anyone. (I find that a bit odd though, as some may think of him as a snob or socially inept).

 

Others might find him "mysterious" at least that's how HE sees it.

 

I attempted do the same thing. While women would be out there dancing, they'd approach me and him and ask, "So why aren't you guys dancing??" sometimes we'd even get asked to dance. *indifferent shrug* Go figure, right?

 

Not necessarily my comfort zone to appear "indifferent" as I tend to be more engaging. So the idea of attracting women by those means, even if it was successful, isn't my thing.

 

I hope I described this as best as I could. I was wondering if indifference attract women and would what I described above does attract women?

 

Of course responses from the ladies on here may be biased or not accurate, I was wondering what the men here think?

 

No, not stable women.

[hasaquestion]

How about instead of asking women to tell you what they like, or circularly debating it with other men..... you just listen to them:laugh:

 

Every time females start advice threads on here, they briefly describe the guy who they are chasing. They throw in the first two or three things that come to mind about the guy, and why they're bending over backwards for him.

 

Handsome generally pops up. Then charming, funny, "feels like we've known each other for years", well-liked.... some combination of those things shows up every single time.

 

But nah, none of that could actually work. Better be really indifferent instead. That'll do the trick.

[GemmaUK]

 

I'm clearly unstable then amongst other things... hehe!

 

Good grief I just like a bit of a chase from my side too!

Over romance me and a guy can scare me right up a tree!

 

Do no other women like some bit of a challenge?

None? Really?

[tbf]

Do no other women like some bit of a challenge?

None? Really?

Can't speak for other women but challenge is a complete waste of time and emotion for me. He either nuts up or it's not going to happen.

[irc333]

Can't speak for other women but challenge is a complete waste of time and emotion for me. He either nuts up or it's not going to happen.

 

Yeah, I usually skip profiles of women that have a headliner that states, "Are you looking for a challenge?"

 

I think, "No, I don't have a budget for Aspirin" lol I personally like it when a woman makes it less of a challenge actually.