Jealous of girls on tv

[Petty2014]

I get very jealous when women show their boobs on tv. I don't want my boyfriend looking at them. I don't want to have sex after because I think he will be imagining them instead. I get mad at him even though I know it's not his fault, he isn't purposely picking out shows that will have half naked women in them, and he isn't ogling or making comments about how hot they are. I get mad if he says an actress is pretty and it bothers me for days. I don't want him taking days off without me because I think he's laying around watching porn. I know this is normal guy stuff but it bothers me so much! I am very petty about all of it. He tells me he doesn't care if I say other guys are hot, they "aren't real" and saying an actors/actresses is hot and seeing nudity on tv isn't a big deal, "who cares"! Intellectually I know this is true, and doesn't change anything about how he feels about me and I know he loves me and thinks I'm hot and we have a great sex life. How do I get over this? We're in our mid thirties and I shouldn't feel so petty and jealous over him seeing other naked women or saying another woman is hot. Right? So here's the kicker... (Btw I'm heterosexual and not interested in being with another woman)... I enjoy looking at women's bodies. I masturbate to porn when I'm alone and think boobs are beautiful and sexy. I get upset with him when sex comes on the screen but I love watching love scenes and people having sex. Lesbian porn is hot and sensual and a turn on to me. I enjoy looking at beautiful women and men. That doesn't change how I feel about my bf at all. So why do I think it's different for him? Why is it ok for me but not for him? How do I relax and not worry so much about what he is seeing and that he is getting turned on by someone else body without feeling jealous and inadequate?

[TaraMaiden]

I'm not even....

 

Honey, you need therapy.

 

H,onestly this is a self-esteem issue you seriously need to address.

 

And soon.

[Lixxy]

Ah! As soon as you said you like seeing women's boobs, bodies, etc, I instantly thought... you are projecting your feelings onto your boyfriend? Kind of like, you see a hot woman come up on TV, and this happens in your sub-conscious: "OMFG she is SO smoking hot... argh, my boyfriend must think so too!" and you project those feelings onto him? People do this a lot because it becomes easier to deal with our feelings when it isn't us we need to deal with.

 

Do you ever think the same of guys, too? Even if it's on a much, much rarer basis? A guy comes on TV and you're like "WOW"... But that's all! You don't thin about him all the time, right? It's like a flash of attraction, and then gone..

[ExpatInItaly]

I get very jealous when women show their boobs on tv. I don't want my boyfriend looking at them. I don't want to have sex after because I think he will be imagining them instead. I get mad at him even though I know it's not his fault, he isn't purposely picking out shows that will have half naked women in them, and he isn't ogling or making comments about how hot they are. I get mad if he says an actress is pretty and it bothers me for days. I don't want him taking days off without me because I think he's laying around watching porn. I know this is normal guy stuff but it bothers me so much! I am very petty about all of it. He tells me he doesn't care if I say other guys are hot, they "aren't real" and saying an actors/actresses is hot and seeing nudity on tv isn't a big deal, "who cares"! Intellectually I know this is true, and doesn't change anything about how he feels about me and I know he loves me and thinks I'm hot and we have a great sex life. How do I get over this? We're in our mid thirties and I shouldn't feel so petty and jealous over him seeing other naked women or saying another woman is hot. Right? So here's the kicker... (Btw I'm heterosexual and not interested in being with another woman)... I enjoy looking at women's bodies. I masturbate to porn when I'm alone and think boobs are beautiful and sexy. I get upset with him when sex comes on the screen but I love watching love scenes and people having sex. Lesbian porn is hot and sensual and a turn on to me. I enjoy looking at beautiful women and men. That doesn't change how I feel about my bf at all. So why do I think it's different for him? Why is it ok for me but not for him? How do I relax and not worry so much about what he is seeing and that he is getting turned on by someone else body without feeling jealous and inadequate?

 

Honestly, this is the task for a professional. In your case, your self-esteem and jealousy are so deeply-rooted that you won't be able to fix this yourself, in my opinion. I think you would find great relief in getting a therapist's insight into these problems and taking advantage of any tools or suggestions they have. Good on you for recognizing that this is your problem though, not your boyfriend's. That tells me there is potential here.