brunoheart Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I have stayed with my partner for 15 years(engaged) and have known her for 16 years.This is a loosely constructed version of the **** in my life just now.I had a vasectomy in 1999. After a period of time two years ago and infrequent sex between us for a bit I discovered my partner was pregnant.The child was born in 2003 and I went for a sperm test which was negative.I never knew she was pregnant till I found a scan picture.It had crossed my mind that she was putting on weight but she covered it up well.2 months after my discovery the baby was born. My partner insisted the child was mine and that vasectomys fail all the time, so I presumed she would not cheat on me and accepted the kid as my own. My Father was always close to my partner and consistently argued with me that she was a good girl who wouldnt cheat on me. One month ago I was down visiting my partner as I had split from her and had been having sex with her when I got a phone call from my Father who was pretty drunk. I was shocked what he told me!They had been having an affair for 3 1/2 years and that the kid was his.I was staying with him since I left my partner. He was so jealous that I had went back to have sex with her he could hold his anger no longer and just spurted it out. I quizzed my ex about it and she admitted it and said that she had always loved me but he had always been saying that I was cheating on her behind her back, calling her names, slagging her off to all and sundry but not to say anything as I would know where it came from.The vast majority of it all was a pile of lies.He always downed me and praised her up telling her she was lovely and deserved much more happiness from life. We split up several times during this and it pissed him off that she always wanted to take me back. We have both shut him out of our lives and I have said that I will bring up the child as my own because I love her and thought she could be mine for over a year. Nobody except my and her immediate familys know about this to save my other two kids from shame(their grandfather is the dad of their little sister). My ex says she now knows she was taken in and cant believe how silly she was and that if I forgive her she will spend the rest of her life making it up to me. She says she is so very sorry and loves me so much it hurts.She went for an abortion but couldnt go through with it. She wants us to get on with the rest of our lives and although a fortnight ago I would never have done it , I am thinking seriously about it now.I cant help loving her stil and in a way understand why she did what she did as my father has been a serial womaniser all his life. The a**hole went out his way to get between us when my partner was suffering from depression What are your thoughts on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunoheart Posted January 27, 2005 Author Share Posted January 27, 2005 I have never ever found a situation like this on the net , is it not interesting to anybody? I would have thought someone, somewhere will reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunoheart Posted February 1, 2005 Author Share Posted February 1, 2005 So dissapointed no one has even posted on this matter. Link to post Share on other sites
debs Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 I am at a loss for words or wisdom here! I have ran across some pretty strange situations online and in the real world especially being a nurse but I can say this tops the cake! Link to post Share on other sites
strange love Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 This seems like an item for Jerry springer or some other talk show. They would probably pay you to be on. Regards to your problem its a bit complicated. Im not really sure what to say. I have a feeling that is why know one else has replied to it. You must really feel betrayed. So what will you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunoheart Posted February 1, 2005 Author Share Posted February 1, 2005 I do still have feelings for my ex-though I despise my father.He instigated it all.I dont think I really could ever go back to her.However the kids are desperate for me to go back and I do love my"daughter" and she loves me.He will be dead in a few years and I hope its a long slow painfull one. My ex always showed me love and affection and is again. I own my own successful business maybe thats why. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Jesus H. Christ... I thought I had a f*cked-up story. That takes the taco. One thing to be betrayed by your spouse... but by a PARENT?!?!?!? If you ask me, you should write both of them out of your lives. But that's just me. I feel for you, brother. Not sure what else I can say. Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 i would give springer a call too. you did not notice she was preg? no wonder she cheated on you! Link to post Share on other sites
li'l bunny Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 If you love her and truly believe that she won't stray again, I say go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunoheart Posted February 2, 2005 Author Share Posted February 2, 2005 Originally posted by tattoomytoe i would give springer a call too. you did not notice she was preg? no wonder she cheated on you! I thought she was putting on weight but in my situation preggers was the last thing I thought about Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunoheart Posted February 2, 2005 Author Share Posted February 2, 2005 Originally posted by reservoirdog1 Jesus H. Christ... I thought I had a f*cked-up story. That takes the taco. One thing to be betrayed by your spouse... but by a PARENT?!?!?!? If you ask me, you should write both of them out of your lives. But that's just me. I feel for you, brother. Not sure what else I can say. I am thinking bout it.Dont know how I can ever go back and keep myself away from other women if I did go back.Your answer seems like the most commonsense thing to do.I listen to Tom Leykis alll the time and would be slaughtered for thinkin anything else Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunoheart Posted February 2, 2005 Author Share Posted February 2, 2005 I for the last 4 years always thought my bio father and her were toooooo close and had thought and questioned both about it. I told my very best pal when I was drunk that I suspected that he was the father, but I have a close relationship with my two sisters whom I thought would go ape**** if I ever disclosed my suspicions to them, and after losing my mother in 2000 we were very close.It now transpires that they felt guilty all the way thru this as they had their own doubts.I have now told everyone in my life(close family excluded) that I have had a DNA test and that the baby is mine.People could'ent understand that after a vasectomy you could still father a child. Bout Jerry springer, how could I reveal to the world a revelation like this and subject my children to the abuse they would take at school and in life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunoheart Posted February 2, 2005 Author Share Posted February 2, 2005 I would just like to thank everyone who has answered this post as its pretty hard keeping all this to yourself and to be able to do it anonymously over the net and gauge other peoples reactions is a great thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brunoheart Posted February 12, 2005 Author Share Posted February 12, 2005 After further thought on this matter I have decided I will not go back to her.I am building my own 4 bedroom house and if I ever fell out with her when she was with me, she would get half of it, I would probably be thrown out on the streets until such times as the house was sold and she was re-housed. The house will be worth £185.000 (around $350.000) and she will never have access to money like that. I have worked hard to get where I am and dont want to get shafted. Still take her out to parks and restaurants when I take out the kids but cant have a meaningful relationship after being emotionally raped by her past demanours. Link to post Share on other sites
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