nohardfelines Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 (edited) Question for you in the know... I'd really like to shoot for 50/50 custody, but I start work early (usually leave around 430) and can sometimes be there until 6 at night. How will I be able to still get my kids during the week? Other than hiring a live in nanny, which I won't be able to afford on top of what i'll end up paying after the divorce. I make about 65000 a year before taxes. Oh, and my kids are 4 and 2...the oldest will start preK in the fall. Any help would be great... Edited March 17, 2014 by nohardfelines Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Question for you in the know... I'd really like to shoot for 50/50 custody, but I start work early (usually leave around 430) and can sometimes be there until 6 at night. How will I be able to still get my kids during the week? Other than hiring a live in nanny, which I won't be able to afford on top of what i'll end up paying after the divorce. I make about 65000 a year before taxes. Oh, and my kids are 4 and 2...the oldest will start preK in the fall. Any help would be great... Would you be living in the sams town/city as their mom? Is there any other family nearby on either side? If so, you could always have them watch the kids during work hours--if their mom doesn't work those days or any relatives are retired and wouldn't mind. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Question for you in the know... I'd really like to shoot for 50/50 custody, but I start work early (usually leave around 430) and can sometimes be there until 6 at night. How will I be able to still get my kids during the week? Other than hiring a live in nanny, which I won't be able to afford on top of what i'll end up paying after the divorce. I make about 65000 a year before taxes. Oh, and my kids are 4 and 2...the oldest will start preK in the fall. Any help would be great... How will your ex-wife be handling child care while she's at work? You don't need a live in nanny. You can hire a babysitter for the day or put your kids in daycare. That is what most working people do with their kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 As much as I admire 50/50 custody schedules and all - esp if they work for everybody involved - I don't get why you would force it. Your hours are crazy. If your wife's work schedule is more predictable and normal, why wouldn't you have your kids with her rather than with a random nanny / sitter? Really doesn't make sense to me. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 (edited) I get it OP, I had the same issue; in the end I changed jobs. My daughter's pre and after care program is $600.00 per month, but I couldn't have her there before 6:30 AM (nor would I want to do this) and I would be picking her up at 6:30 PM. Too long of a day for a 5 YO. I hired someone to take her in the AM for me (7:30 AM), then pick her up at 5:00 PM (I'd get home around 6:30 PM). That cost me an additional $700.00 a month as I paid the sitter $44.00 a day to do a "split shift". Being a single parent is tough and it can get expensive, I only have one child, with 2 it just adds to the cost. I feel for you, I had to leave a pretty good job as to spend more time with my daughter. My current job may wind up putting me in the poorhouse, but my kid is my big priority. I am 50/50 as well, and that's how I will keep it until I cannot do it . Edited March 17, 2014 by TheBladeRunner Adding Link to post Share on other sites
BrettLost Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Nohardfelines, I originally was shooting for 50/50, but like you, my working hours just were'nt flexible to accomodate my childrens requirements. This left only the "weekend dad" option. Many of us had to take this road. At first, the days without them destroyed me. But as time went on i adjusted and actually prefer it like this. I don't know, but id have to assume hiring a nanny would cost more than your cs as a weekend dad...? I pay the cs and their life during the week with their mum n her bf is acceptable. But tallying up overall hours spent with them, i get 2 whole days n nights to do whatever cool **** we want. EXW in comparison only gets a few hours after school each day. Throw in homework, chores, dinner etc n they rarely get time with her outside the routine bs. She gets her weekends free to party n whatever, but at a cost im sure she will end up paying for later. Link to post Share on other sites
hurts1968 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Nohardfelines, I originally was shooting for 50/50, but like you, my working hours just were'nt flexible to accomodate my childrens requirements. This left only the "weekend dad" option. Many of us had to take this road. At first, the days without them destroyed me. But as time went on i adjusted and actually prefer it like this. I don't know, but id have to assume hiring a nanny would cost more than your cs as a weekend dad...? I pay the cs and their life during the week with their mum n her bf is acceptable. But tallying up overall hours spent with them, i get 2 whole days n nights to do whatever cool **** we want. EXW in comparison only gets a few hours after school each day. Throw in homework, chores, dinner etc n they rarely get time with her outside the routine bs. She gets her weekends free to party n whatever, but at a cost im sure she will end up paying for later. BrettLost, how did you get through the thought of not being with them and seeing them everyday. I am at a point where this will start to happen in the next few weeks, can't get my brain around not being there for my 3YO daughter every day, putting her to bed, being there when she wakes in the night and everything in between. Looks like i will get her Friday from 6pm till Monday 7am and Wednesday for tea. just not enough for me but nothing I can really do... Link to post Share on other sites
BrettLost Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Hurts1968, Mate, the hard reality is what u said, "there's nothing you really can do", except adapt and cherish the time you DO get with them. For me, i split my life in 2. I work all week, get my little fix of socialisation there but just focus on work. Then friday comes, works done and im excited to see my kids. Whatever disposable income is left after bills, i usually enjoy with them, movies, take-away, trips out n about etc haha they usually decide what were gonna do, n most times im capable of fufilling their wishes. I do my shopping right after i pick them up so theyre a part of MY home life and they add items to the cart, n help choose what dinners were cookin. You might initially think 2 days a week aint $hit, but when ur children are old enough, they'l communicate effectively enough to tell you those 2 days with you still play a very big part of their life. Link to post Share on other sites
hurts1968 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Hurts1968, Mate, the hard reality is what u said, "there's nothing you really can do", except adapt and cherish the time you DO get with them. For me, i split my life in 2. I work all week, get my little fix of socialisation there but just focus on work. Then friday comes, works done and im excited to see my kids. Whatever disposable income is left after bills, i usually enjoy with them, movies, take-away, trips out n about etc haha they usually decide what were gonna do, n most times im capable of fufilling their wishes. I do my shopping right after i pick them up so theyre a part of MY home life and they add items to the cart, n help choose what dinners were cookin. You might initially think 2 days a week aint $hit, but when ur children are old enough, they'l communicate effectively enough to tell you those 2 days with you still play a very big part of their life. Guess there is always something I can do! not that I would. just can't bring myself to think about not being in her life everyday....i can't even bring myself round to the thought of not being with my wife. How do you cope with the being on your own? Link to post Share on other sites
BrettLost Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 The same thing your doin. I came here, vented, and got the information and advice i needed to successfully move on. Many thanks go to those who helped me out. Its the same old line, but time mate. Keep yourself busy and pre-occupied with other $hit. Like i mentioned, i focus on my job n the week flys by. You don't see it now, but this is a blessing. I've done $hit in the last year i don't think i ever would have, had i still been married. Not to mention the relationships i've made, both platonic and romantic. The freedom is quite empowering once you're embracing it. Once it all gets sorted n you adjust to your new existance, its beautiful. The best revenge is living happily despite the trauma she's thrust upon your life. Your daughter needs you to be the best u can be, n that love for our children is what keeps my positive outlook alive. You'l not only make it through this, but come out the other side much stronger. Link to post Share on other sites
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