kodakgirl Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Of course there have been plenty of threads asking variations of what you want in a partner, but I've noticed that people tend to describe this ideal person in a couple standard ways: adjectives (attractive, intelligent, charismatic) and possessions (has a car, has a graduate degree). People do the same when describing what they have to offer. I'm guilty of this too. It's easy and simple. But people aren't adjectives and possessions. A relationship isn't based in what people are; it's based in what people do. So, for this thread, describe your ideal partner--but without adjectives and without reference to possessions. You can't say "she is attractive," though you can say "she makes an effort with her appearance." You can't say "he is tall"; you can say "he walks with confidence." So-- not what your ideal partner "is", but what he/she "does." What does your ideal partner do? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Imported Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 She gives really good blow jobs. And likes to cook and clean.......just as much as I do......and I like it a lot because I like my place clean and I like nice meals. And she likes me for me. She likes to work out and stay in shape. Travel to non-touristy places and even the toursisty places too. A job is just a job. It pays the bills, it provides trading coupons to do fun things in life. I am not my work. She is not her work. There is me, there is her. There is my family and her family. That is what matters. Our devotion is to ourselves, not to be another well behaved cog in the machine. She has enough respect and compassion that if she feels a spark with some other guy, she will just break up with me and then pursue the other guy. I can take a break-up. I can't take dishonesty from someone I trust enough to be in a relationship with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 My ideal partner is a woman who loves to write more than she loves to read. She's a woman who is not only willing to watch my favorite shows with me, but she'll even surprise me with a tall stack of buttermilk pancakes every once in a while because she knows how much I enjoy buttermilk pancakes late at night. My ideal partner is willing to inspire me to work out, willing to help spot me even though I know she is probably afraid that she won't be able to lift up the weight, and willing to make those buttermilk pancakes even though she knows I'm on a diet. She'll say "that's okay, Ox, I still love you." My ideal partner is someone who believes she's beautiful -- she doesn't envy my curly eye lashes, or prefer the lights off because "the light gets in [her] eyes." She knows she isn't perfect, but loves it when I make fun of her right breast being larger than her left, or that eye twitch she makes when she's deep into a conversation about a certain subject. My ideal partner always believes in me, even when there are sometimes I may not believe in myself. I want a woman who can look me in the eye and genuinely tell me that she was "wrong" and that she's "sorry" for whatever it is she felt she did wrong. My ideal partner would not push me, because she believes that no one should push or punch anyone regardless of gender. My ideal partner believes that just because she's a woman doesn't mean she's got the right to exploit her power to gain advantage over any given situation. Also, she would do her best to compromise with me on any situation so she won't feel the need to do anything that would deprive/harm me anyway, shape or form. My ideal partner laughs at my jokes, not because they're funny, but because I'm terrible at punch-lines. She's willing to give me a hug after she gets off work, breathe in my cologne, and tell me that she's been looking forward to hearing my laugh all day because it makes her happy. She's willing to tell me that even after several years, her heart still skips a beat when she receives a text message hoping that it's me. My ideal woman is a woman who will always respond to my good morning/good night texts, because she knows that I'm always thinking about her and it makes me feel better knowing that she read it. I want a woman who loves to hear my book ideas, even though she's probably read a book similar to the idea. She reads my blog on her own accord, and always surprises me with the things that she remembers. My ideal woman will go out of town, buy me a 5 dollar souvenir because it "reminded [her] of [me]." My ideal partner doesn't drink alcohol or do drugs. She thinks it's dumb, and likes the raw version of what it means to have "fun." She's strong in her opinions and doesn't hold back for anybody and for any occasion. She's the designated driver, and will always be the designated driver. What she considers "relaxing" is playing her favorite video games, going to the lake, having a picnic with the man she's convinced she's going to spend the rest of her life with, or maybe a night of passionate sex. My ideal woman won't blame me for not being able to keep an erection because I wasn't really horny that night, nor would she feel like it's a "job" to take care of me when I am horny. She loves it when I give her a bath, and understands I may wash certain areas just to have reasons to touch them a little bit longer. She's great at blowjobs -- not because of her perfect technique, but because she knows that you can't have a perfect technique without figuring out what kind of technique that I like. She also likes to surprise me with outfits -- not because she knows I like outfits, but because I like the fact that she spent her own money on something and kept it a secret. My ideal woman loves me, and looks at me as an imperfect human being rather than a number. I am not a salary number. I'm not a retirement fund. I'm not someone who is going to financially make your life better, nor am I going to financially "hold [you] back." My ideal woman does not rely on me for anything. The choices that she makes is because she wants to, not because she feels like she has to. She also knows that I make my own choices, and she will not hold it against me if I don't make a choice out of her best interest. My ideal woman would always tell me how she feels. If she feels that there's a problem we can't fix, she will not run away but will tag along for counseling sessions. She will do everything in her power to keep the relationship, and she will know that I am doing the same. My ideal woman loves to lay down in bed and talk with me. We'll stare at the ceiling, watch the fan twirl, and talk about everything together. She'll tell me about all the men that hit on her, and I'll laugh. I'll tell her about that woman I saw today in a red dress and how I wanted to **** her brains out, and she'll laugh. My ideal woman would never manipulate me -- not because I'm a "good person" even though she probably would agree, but because it's just not the right thing to do when it comes to the people you love the most. My ideal woman has been in love before. She's been heart broken. Only then will I truly know she's willing to do whatever it takes, because she doesn't want to get hurt like that again. We will talk about those experiences, what we've learned, and we will express our ability to take that risk because we feel that we're worth it. My ideal partner is good at Nintendo 64 games. If I don't win, she'll make me sweat to get it, and she'll still hug me when I am sweating. Sometimes, when I'm not over at her place, we'll play online together. If we end up on the opposing team, we'll still try and kill each other. She'll try really hard, in fact. She may even whoop my ass. However, we'll always talk at night and she'll always say "God I wish you were here right now." God I'm so single. LOL! I'm gonna stop... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Thegreatestthing Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 This will be fun,thanks! My ideal likes to write things and likes to look up obscure things online,he likes buying me donuts and cuddles me all the time.He wears nice classic clothing and he watches Christmas cartoons.he writes me very long emails everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 My ideal man is a male copy of myself Link to post Share on other sites
whirl3daway Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) ideal man. hmm. a man who listens to me, and one who feels empathy. one who communicates and is honest, but not tactless. one who is close to his family, but is not enmeshed. a man who is fond of cats, and of children. a man who would consider being a father to be one of his greatest achievements, and would be considered an excellent one. one who lets me know that he's thinking of me, and does not play stupid games. one who is emotionally available, and treasures me for who I am and what I bring to his life. one who does not have any addictions, although some vices are just fine. my ideal man would love to cook with me, or appreciate the meals I make. he would be okay with eating paleo most of the time. he would share the same sardonic sense of humor that is present in my brain. he would be ambitious and goal-oriented, but education/money etc isn't that important to me as long as we have enough to do what we want. intelligence is vital. one who would love to travel. a man who is not stuck in his ways, and is open-minded. one who is willing to listen to other opinions and understands that changing your mind does not make you weak. one that is not selfish. one that is willing to plan dates or surprise me every once in awhile and appreciates that I do that as well. a man who truly thinks that I am beautiful, and adores me so much that he'd do anything for me. he loves to cuddle, and have sex every day to every other day. he is willing to share in my music tastes, even if he does not love them. he likes to drink and play pool from time to time. he loves to photograph things, including me, and us together. he contacts me often, via text or email. he lets me know that I'm on his mind. he tells me that he loves me frequently. my ideal man is a man who would value me and my needs over everything else, and is happy when I do the same, although neither of us would demand this of the other. Edited March 18, 2014 by whirl3daway 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 My ideal man is a male copy of myself My ideal woman is a female copy of MYself. The catch is, even though she wouldn't be bad looking, most men would hate her guts once they met her. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Someone who appreciates the little things, the simple things. Someone who will take me fishing on an early morning, take me camping in the summer. Someone who listens even when he doesn't like what I'm saying. Someone whose actions show that he really was listening. Someone who will make me soup and bring me orange juice when i'm sick. Someone who acts goofy and silly with me until we're crying with laughter. Someone who can, alternatively, sit with me in silence for hours, just enjoying each other's presence. Words aren't always needed. Someone who will challenge me when he thinks I can do more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Someone with no schadenfreude... oh, hey, wait a minute, then she'd only be 90% of a woman! Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 One word: music. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kodakgirl Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 Awww, these are really sweet to read! I think it's a great way of conceptualizing the partner you want (or appreciating the one you have)--these are the things that matter most, after all! I guess I should contribute to my own thread: He sees the world in a positive light and feels optimistic about life. He enjoys learning and experiencing new things. He treats other people with kindness and compassion. He treasures his best friends. He smiles a lot. He embraces our relationship on our terms, not anyone else's. He tries to understand other people's points of view. He listens. He loves to travel. He pets and plays with my cats when he's over at my place. He encourages me to try new things and joins me in trying things that are new to thim. He can be silly sometimes. He makes an effort to look nice for me, at least sometimes. He offers to carry my bags and open doors even when I insist he doesn't have to. He appreciates my little surprises, and makes that appreciation clear to me. He stays in touch and wants to see me often not because it's expected, but because he wants to. He participates in my cheesy romantic ideas, maybe even comes up with some of his own. He supports my dreams and shares his own with me. He feels comfortable being emotionally vulnerable with me. He truly cherishes me and our relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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