Sugarkane Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 That I'm with someone who isn't in love with himself only, doesn't have a superiority complex and actually treats me right. It would be great to put down a jerk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 I hate doing the right thing, when others never do. Time hasn't changed this. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Who stops you from doing that? If that what you feel you need to do then do it. Link to post Share on other sites
4everalones Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 The best revenge is living well. Rubbing it in your ex's face will only make you look immature and bitter. It will only reassure him that he has such a big impact on you, and you cannot move on. This will only give him an ego stroke: he'll think you're dating someone else to make him jealous. You want to get back at him? Ignore him, and show him you're doing well with your actions. He'll hear about from someone else and it will be much more effective. Move on! forget about him! and if he comes around, ignore him. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Huh, why? It sounds incredibly worrisome that you are still thinking of revenge on an ex when you are with a man who loves you, AND you have a child with said man. Let it go. Grudges only hurt the person who carries it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 That I'm with someone who isn't in love with himself only, doesn't have a superiority complex and actually treats me right. It would be great to put down a jerk. This has become the weekly Sugarkane thread lol. Again, its over. He doesnt care about it anymore. He has moved on as you should have too. If your current boyfriend ever read all your threads and realized your obsessive nature with your ex, I can promise he wouldn't be happy. Again, it doesnt matter what he is doing. Focus on you. This isn't some Carrie Underwood music video. Its life. Revenge is for children. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 This has become the weekly Sugarkane thread lol. Again, its over. He doesnt care about it anymore. He has moved on as you should have too. If your current boyfriend ever read all your threads and realized your obsessive nature with your ex, I can promise he wouldn't be happy. Again, it doesnt matter what he is doing. Focus on you. This isn't some Carrie Underwood music video. Its life. Revenge is for children. Yeah it's so easy to say ''let it go'' focus on you, who cares about revenge. Until you are put in such a situation that you need to do something. Of course the best revenge is to live well and be happy, but sometimes you just can't do that until you get revenge. I'm not saying this is healty, but think outside the box for once. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 What he did was wrong but you say you are in a happy relationship and you have a child with this guy so just forget about the ex. He isn't worth all this energy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Do it. You won't get what you want though. But you have to exorcise this demon, because you bloke and your daughter deserve someone focused on them, not on revenge. So do it, so you can stop stewing over it. And then hopefully, you're family with be as lucky as you think you are. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Yeah it's so easy to say ''let it go'' focus on you, who cares about revenge. Until you are put in such a situation that you need to do something. Of course the best revenge is to live well and be happy, but sometimes you just can't do that until you get revenge. I'm not saying this is healty, but think outside the box for once. Need to do something?? What are you talking about?? The OP is in no such situation to try and get back at an ex boyfriend ESPECIALLY since they have been done for a while now, she has a NEW guy, and just recently had a child. What good will ANY of that do except make her look crazy and just waste time since he doesnt care anymore? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Need to do something?? What are you talking about?? The OP is in no such situation to try and get back at an ex boyfriend ESPECIALLY since they have been done for a while now, she has a NEW guy, and just recently had a child. What good will ANY of that do except make her look crazy and just waste time since he doesnt care anymore? She just can find peace, because of this '' demon '' I know that she has a new guy and a kid. Just thought of a different approach. But you're right. op focuse on your relationship especially if he is great and makes you happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 She just can find peace, because of this '' demon '' I know that she has a new guy and a kid. Just thought of a different approach. But you're right. op focuse on your relationship especially if he is great and makes you happy. Anything to get the OP to fully move on from this, I guess that makes sense. Sugarkane, do whatever you need to make him jealous. As pick wrote earlier, you wont get what you want. You don't need our permission and approval to do something erratic lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Need to do something?? What are you talking about?? The OP is in no such situation to try and get back at an ex boyfriend ESPECIALLY since they have been done for a while now, she has a NEW guy, and just recently had a child. What good will ANY of that do except make her look crazy and just waste time since he doesnt care anymore? I completely agree which is why she should do it. Since this is an ongoing theme for the OP and she seems obsessed, maybe she should go ahead and lay it all out there so the old bf can tell her he thinks she is crazy and take out a restraining order, and the new one can see what an obsessive loony he has a child with. Nothing about this Behavior, especially since she has a newborn baby is healthy and if she continues down this path of holding onto resentment and a need for revenge, the new bf will determine correctly that she isn't over her old bf and he is just the schmuck who is being her rebound. She clearly is still in love with her ex. They brought a child into this.....let her pour her heart out and let this thing finally be dealt with since she can't seem to control her anger or get over a man who had so little regard or care for her. Knock yourself out, OP. I am pretty sure you might lose everything for one stab at making someone who doesn't care about you feel like you are a pathetic loser by confronting him with your new baby and bf. Obviously, if you were really over him and happy, you wouldn't be this obsessed. The disrespect you are showing your current bf and your child is unfathomable...when new life and a supportive man can be trumped by an old flame who threw you away, it is time for you to let your bf know so he isn't some cuckhold to your obsession. Sincerely, you need some help because you have a baby with another man and you are obsessed with the old one to the point where you make these threads disregarding the blessings you have in your life now. SMH, Grumps 10 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I completely agree which is why she should do it. Since this is an ongoing theme for the OP and she seems obsessed, maybe she should go ahead and lay it all out there so the old bf can tell her he thinks she is crazy and take out a restraining order, and the new one can see what an obsessive loony he has a child with. Nothing about this Behavior, especially since she has a newborn baby is healthy and if she continues down this path of holding onto resentment and a need for revenge, the new bf will determine correctly that she isn't over her old bf and he is just the schmuck who is being her rebound. She clearly is still in love with her ex. They brought a child into this.....let her pour her heart out and let this thing finally be dealt with since she can't seem to control her anger or get over a man who had so little regard or care for her. Knock yourself out, OP. I am pretty sure you might lose everything for one stab at making someone who doesn't care about you feel like you are a pathetic loser by confronting him with your new baby and bf. Obviously, if you were really over him and happy, you wouldn't be this obsessed. The disrespect you are showing your current bf and your child is unfathomable...when new life and a supportive man can be trumped by an old flame who threw you away, it is time for you to let your bf know so he isn't some cuckhold to your obsession. Sincerely, you need some help because you have a baby with another man and you are obsessed with the old one to the point where you make these threads disregarding the blessings you have in your life now. SMH, Grumps That's something mean to say and disrespectful. It's not her fault that she's not over her ex. Maybe by doing this she will be done with this matter. She tried, she has a new bf and even a kid she really tried people but her ex hurt her so bad that she just need to do this. And lets be fare she only wants her ex to notice how good her life turn out to be. Stop being so judgemental and support her for a chance.. It's not easy to be in her shoes you know...... geeeez Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Hi there! A lot seems to have happened since we last saw each other around here! Congrats on your baby, plus I am thrilled you have finally found a nice boyfriend! I have also seemingly found a nice guy who is now officially the first decent boyfriend I have ever had. It is really nice but what makes you feel the urge to rub in it your exes face? No need to stick it to our exes. For starters, what makes you think they would care? Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 That's something mean to say and disrespectful. It's not her fault that she's not over her ex. Maybe by doing this she will be done with this matter. She tried, she has a new bf and even a kid she really tried people but her ex hurt her so bad that she just need to do this. And lets be fare she only wants her ex to notice how good her life turn out to be. Stop being so judgemental and support her for a chance.. It's not easy to be in her shoes you know...... geeeez I am supporting her. I have watched this obsession with her dumper play out over a long period of time. She is a good person, I agree, but she wrote something here in which I think could be detrimental to her new life and to her own psyche. I agreed she should play out this obsession because it is the only way she can get help. Being supportive is helping her to see what she has right in front of her....imagine for just a second, David, you have a new baby with a woman you love and she is still obsessing about her old flame who treated her very poorly as I recall. How mean and disrespectful would that feel to you? What if she actually used you and your new baby to try to get attention from this old flame even if it is in the guise of being proud of her new life? She's been here a while and I have been reading her obsessive posts for a long time. This is support, because if she doesn't focus on what she has because of an obsession and deals with her feelings, she could lose it all. No one who is in a healthy stable place in their life with a newborn and a loving man needs their ex to notice anything because their focus isn't on them anymore. If I didn't care, I would enable her to ruin her life instead of trying to get her to see another perspective so she can release these detrimental emotions for an ex and focus on the blessings she has. Best, Grumps 7 Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Ya hmmm don't buy it.. REALITY: "That I'm with someone who isn't in love with himself only, doesn't have a superiority complex and actually treats me right. BUT I am pissed off that you still have a hold over me and even though I am with someone now that is great on paper, I still can't get your out of my mind, and it stirs up such negative emotions in me still. I guess im still not over this..." That I'm with someone who isn't in love with himself only, doesn't have a superiority complex and actually treats me right. It would be great to put down a jerk. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 This is a very sensitive subject in any possible way. It should be treated with care, your main focus now should be your kid and your boyfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Sugarcane, I certainly apologize if my posts sound mean. Sometimes the care I feel gets lost in translation since this is online. I know how cruel your ex was and how long you have battled the way he cruelly dumped you and then kept giving you breadcrumbs. I am not insensitive to your feelings being crushed. I just don't want you to lose this great new chapter in your life, however unplanned it may have been as you could be very happy. Good luck, Grumps 3 Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron005 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 It would be great to put down a jerk. And what? Drop to the level of a jerk yourself. You're better than that. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 And what? Drop to the level of a jerk yourself. You're better than that. I think she knows this already. Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 This post immediately made me think of the phrase "Hurt people hurt people." I used to struggle with this so much. I wanted to burn my ex so SO badly, obsessed over sizing up my awesome bf to his crappy behavior. Waste of energy better spent living in the present. Congrats on findig happiness and your newborn child :-). Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 A wise man, whom I have a lot of respect for, recently said these words: "Revenge is like a poisin that you yourself drink, while expecting the other person to die from it." You are only hurting yourself, and your own family, by holding this grudge and obsessing about revenge. It's time to let it go, and put this ex in the past, mentally and emotionally, and focus on your family and your life in the present and future. This was said to a group of people at a meeting I attended, and not to me personally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 18, 2014 Author Share Posted March 18, 2014 Because as I've said in other posts, taking the high road has always made ZERO difference. I ALWAYS end up friendless. This has happened a FEW times with DIFFERENT friendship groups. It puts me off trying to make more friends. Plus my dumpers have certainly never above doing the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Mondmellonw Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 This has become the weekly Sugarkane thread lol. Again, its over. He doesnt care about it anymore. He has moved on as you should have too. If your current boyfriend ever read all your threads and realized your obsessive nature with your ex, I can promise he wouldn't be happy. Again, it doesnt matter what he is doing. Focus on you. This isn't some Carrie Underwood music video. Its life. Revenge is for children. Actually, this behavior reminds me of my ex. He rubbed on the face of his cheating ex that he was with a respectable girl... (Me) Then, when I found he still stalked her for a long time, and due to some other issues in the relationship, I left him, and who was the first person he slept with? The cheating ex. More action, less talk. Link to post Share on other sites
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