Ordinaryday Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 going around being happy without him and not contacting him for any reason will hurt a hell of a lot more than contacting him to let him know how happy you are without him. contacting him will tell him you still think about him and he is still on your mind. do you wanna give him that satisfaction? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 (edited) If people really did disrespThat others who lie and cheat, I would never have this problem, especially multiple times. The universe always tends to unfold as it should. They can hang out and all be douchebags together, but it doesnt make them better people than you. You're child deserves better than that. You can make decisions on your own anymore. You have another life to think about. Would your child think highly of you that you associate yourself with people that wont even be your friends because you dont act like them? Doesnt sound like friends to me.... You can continue to spin everything to the negative category that's fine. Maybe, you are just bad at picking boyfriends and friends. Either way, Obsessing about things of this nature isn't healthy. That part has been stated numerous times Edited March 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fixed quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 As I said before I'm talking about other situations aswell. Your NC didn't work. Who wouldn't be annoyed at that? I was bullied repeatedly by an ex friend bit didn't say anything to our mutual friends- yes they were all BOTH our friends first. So I didn't say anything about her bullying Behaviour, the others didn't know. And it's come go the same conclusion- no one says anything and I'm just excluded and never talked to ever again. Who wouldn't be pissed off? You can continue to spin everything to the negative category that's fine. Maybe, you are just bad at picking boyfriends and friends. Either way, Obsessing about things of this nature isn't healthy. That part has been stated numerous times Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 I'm sick and tired of you telling me to be a "respectable adult", when I've done the right thing and get treated like garbage. Obviously it doesn't pay off to keep my mouth shut in these situations. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) I'm sick and tired of you telling me to be a "respectable adult", when I've done the right thing and get treated like garbage. Obviously it doesn't pay off to keep my mouth shut in these situations. 1st-NC "works" when you actually apply it to make yourself better. You just complained and moaned about other people and your ex You need better friends. Thats the truth. OR it could be you personally. It's clear you have loads of demons to overcome. This website is really not helping you anymore. I'd suggest something more drastic. You need it for you, your family, and especially your child. Edited March 27, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Why is it that bad to tell people, you're happy you're not with a lying cheating So/ friend anymore? Why? Because it's the truth?! I've had other people say nasty things to me after breakups, but no one cared then! Then they arent your friends. Simple as that. Its not everyone's reasons on here....its called being a respectable adult. If you want to stoop to junior high antics of revenge and jealousy, then go right ahead. Dont expect much respect from people. In life or on here. Take the higher road. Be an example to your kid Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Thanks because your "keep your mouth shut" when bullied and excluded hasn't helped at all. All it does is makes everyone think a bully is a good person. Moderators can I have this moved to friendship forum? 1st-NC "works" when you actually apply it to make yourself better. You just complained and moaned about other people and your ex You need better friends. Thats the truth. OR it could be you personally. It's clear you have loads of demons to overcome. This website is really not helping you anymore. I'd suggest something more drastic. You need it for you, your family, and especially your child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Thanks for the "you need therapy" bit. My new therapist suggested I should tell peopke more about how I feel, instead of always bottling everything up and getting depressed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) Thanks because your "keep your mouth shut" when bullied and excluded hasn't helped at all. All it does is makes everyone think a bully is a good person. Moderators can I have this moved to friendship forum? Stop worrying about what others think about other people. It's a completely and utter waste of time. Worry about yourself, worry about your child, worry about the people who mean something to you. Stop this petty, vindictive, immature garbage that will do nothing but hurt you and the ones close to you. YOU CAN'T WIN THIS BECAUSE YOUR EX DOESN'T GIVE A CRAP. All you can do is lose, but you are too bullheaded to see this. You aren't going to be the winner in every situation. In fact, there are situations you will lose. It's just by how much are you willing to lose by. Even the greatest athletes lose games. There's nothing wrong with losing, as long as you shake it off, learn from your loss, and move forward. Not only do you refuse to look forward, you want a rematch in a game that you are going to get destroyed in. This is like Mike Tyson fighting Barbie, and you are Barbie. Stop while you are behind, move forward and focus on what's in your life now. Stop this immature ranting and petulant rage -- it will bring you nothing but more pain. Edited March 27, 2014 by Simon Phoenix 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 (edited) Thanks because your "keep your mouth shut" when bullied and excluded hasn't helped at all. All it does is makes everyone think a bully is a good person. Moderators can I have this moved to friendship forum? You're proving my point pretty well Sugar. Ive seen you on here for a full year. Literally a full year and people give you the same advice and you will then get frustrated with them and continue to create similar post. At some point dear, you're going to have to let it go. I've said this since day one. I hope for your child you actually listen. Edited March 27, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 You're proving my point pretty well Sugar. Ive seen you on here for a full year. Literally a full year and people give you the same advice and you will then get frustrated with them and continue to create similar post. At some point dear, you're going to have to let it go. I've said this since day one. I hope for your child you actually listen. She is responsible and I don't think she'll do it. This is her way to vent I think. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 The only thing you will rub in his face is this: AM NOT OVER YOU. Even if I say I am and show you videos photos and my bank account plus how damn hot I am now and yeah I found someone better then you. If u have even 2 of these keep working to have rest or at least 5 of them not keep working to show someone who dumped u how his opinion still means a lot to you. Come on girl have some dignity and pride 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 I can understand where you are coming from Sugarcane, but I can tell you now you won't achieve what you want. That is because neither you, nor any of us can change the past. When my marriage broke up I spent nights lying awake in bed, alone, trying to think of ways that I could make him pay for what he had done to me. I wanted to show him what a fool he was for choosing her over me. I wanted to show him I could get someone better. I fantasised about keying his car etc etc. ( I didn't do it BTW ) It was all wasted effort. The fact of the matter was that it was done, gone, in the past and I couldn't change it. He didn't care about our marriage, our home our lifestyle or anything we had. Most important he didn't care about me. I got some counselling to help move on. My therapist told me not to worry about revenge. She pointed out that he was a human being who was responsible for his actions. He knew how badly he had behaved and that his conscience would punish him far more than anything I could ever say or do. I said that he didn't care and had no conscience. She said that if that was really and truly the case, then he was a very unevolved, selfish, narcissistic individual and I should thank my lucky stars that I wasn't with him anymore. As long as I was living my life for him I was giving him power over me. She told me I should move on and live my life for me. Now I'm telling you the same thing. Good Luck. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 I can understand where you are coming from Sugarcane, but I can tell you now you won't achieve what you want. That is because neither you, nor any of us can change the past. When my marriage broke up I spent nights lying awake in bed, alone, trying to think of ways that I could make him pay for what he had done to me. I wanted to show him what a fool he was for choosing her over me. I wanted to show him I could get someone better. I fantasised about keying his car etc etc. ( I didn't do it BTW ) It was all wasted effort. The fact of the matter was that it was done, gone, in the past and I couldn't change it. He didn't care about our marriage, our home our lifestyle or anything we had. Most important he didn't care about me. I got some counselling to help move on. My therapist told me not to worry about revenge. She pointed out that he was a human being who was responsible for his actions. He knew how badly he had behaved and that his conscience would punish him far more than anything I could ever say or do. I said that he didn't care and had no conscience. She said that if that was really and truly the case, then he was a very unevolved, selfish, narcissistic individual and I should thank my lucky stars that I wasn't with him anymore. As long as I was living my life for him I was giving him power over me. She told me I should move on and live my life for me. Now I'm telling you the same thing. Good Luck. Now this is not does she think she is better smarter is she mocking me post: This is a post of smart been there done that able to overcome this problem person. Take it as your guide use it read it again and again if you need to. Just don't allow yourself humiliation and degradation of contacting him with your idea. You will never be able to erase that ever ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Obviously not! How many times do I have to point out I'm now talking about a DIFFERENT situation? I'm talking about other people, NOT my ex. Thanks for your opinion. I see you type the same answers over. I AM NOW TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE DIFFERENT TO MY EX. You're proving my point pretty well Sugar. Ive seen you on here for a full year. Literally a full year and people give you the same advice and you will then get frustrated with them and continue to create similar post. At some point dear, you're going to have to let it go. I've said this since day one. I hope for your child you actually listen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 I was no referring to being backstabbed by an ex FRIEND. HOW MANY TIMES SHOUlD I POINT THIS OUT? WHY can't YOU listen? Stop worrying about what others think about other people. It's a completely and utter waste of time. Worry about yourself, worry about your child, worry about the people who mean something to you. Stop this petty, vindictive, immature garbage that will do nothing but hurt you and the ones close to you. YOU CAN'T WIN THIS BECAUSE YOUR EX DOESN'T GIVE A CRAP. All you can do is lose, but you are too bullheaded to see this. You aren't going to be the winner in every situation. In fact, there are situations you will lose. It's just by how much are you willing to lose by. Even the greatest athletes lose games. There's nothing wrong with losing, as long as you shake it off, learn from your loss, and move forward. Not only do you refuse to look forward, you want a rematch in a game that you are going to get destroyed in. This is like Mike Tyson fighting Barbie, and you are Barbie. Stop while you are behind, move forward and focus on what's in your life now. Stop this immature ranting and petulant rage -- it will bring you nothing but more pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 I started talking about ANOTHER SITUATION ACTUALLY. The only thing you will rub in his face is this: AM NOT OVER YOU. Even if I say I am and show you videos photos and my bank account plus how damn hot I am now and yeah I found someone better then you. If u have even 2 of these keep working to have rest or at least 5 of them not keep working to show someone who dumped u how his opinion still means a lot to you. Come on girl have some dignity and pride Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 I was no referring to being backstabbed by an ex FRIEND. HOW MANY TIMES SHOUlD I POINT THIS OUT? WHY can't YOU listen? Doesn't change a thing. Everything I wrote still applies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 I started talking about ANOTHER SITUATION ACTUALLY. Have you done it yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 Thanks for everyone's opinions but I want answers about friendship problems- they're still breakups. Since everyone keeps ignoring this and bringing up my ex again, when I've stated otherwise. I'm getting cynical since it seems people prefer being in a group, no matter how badly one of them treats people. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Obviously not! How many times do I have to point out I'm now talking about a DIFFERENT situation? I'm talking about other people, NOT my ex. Thanks for your opinion. I see you type the same answers over. I AM NOW TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE DIFFERENT TO MY EX. I know your situations. I was talking about eveything. Your friends, ex, EVERYTHING. LET IT GO!!!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Have you done it yet? She might as well at this point. Nothing is going to get through to her, she's been stuck on this, or situations resembling this, forever. Maybe she has to learn the hard way how foolish this enterprise is. Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 And she is howling at us ? Hon how about you wipe that foam of your mouth and see take a look in mirror. Then go back and edit your posts to where you are so sure we got wrong. And third why don't you have at least that much respect for people who saved you $$$$$$$$$$$ to hear same s.. from shrink and used their time energy and time to help you. Why don't ya do that eh ? Cause if you keep howling at wolfs ya might get bitten hon Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Thanks for everyone's opinions but I want answers about friendship problems- they're still breakups. Since everyone keeps ignoring this and bringing up my ex again, when I've stated otherwise. I'm getting cynical since it seems people prefer being in a group, no matter how badly one of them treats people. You don't get it, the same advice applies no matter if it's your ex boyfriend or an ex friend. The word "ex" is all-encompassing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 She might as well at this point. Nothing is going to get through to her, she's been stuck on this, or situations resembling this, forever. Maybe she has to learn the hard way how foolish this enterprise is. It's not often I recommend lancing the boil in such an extreme manner, but I think she should. Learning by doing. *shakes head* Link to post Share on other sites
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