Would it be hard having a family if my major is astronomy?

[SarahLee96]

I would like some insight into this. Not sure where to post this but I need some suggestions about this.

 

I'll be graduating this from HS year (will still be 17 because my b-day is on Sept) but ever since I was a kid space, astronomy, the NASA, all types of math level, physics, laws of gravity, etc have always been not only what I loved but my strength. Don't have a bf yet and it's because of lack of time. I still use my telescope I was given on my 11th b-day (my favorite present).

 

But would I have to then forever abandon astronomy if I also want to one day be a mother and married.

 

Will a man accept this situation and be understandable? I have heard about astronauts having a family but it's mainly the man travelling and a compromise has been reached. But how about in my case? Can things still work out if it's the woman is into a very involved field?

[hasaquestion]

I would like some insight into this. Not sure where to post this but I need some suggestions about this.

 

I'll be graduating this from HS year (will still be 17 because my b-day is on Sept) but ever since I was a kid space, astronomy, the NASA, all types of math level, physics, laws of gravity, etc have always been not only what I loved but my strength. Don't have a bf yet and it's because of lack of time. I still use my telescope I was given on my 11th b-day (my favorite present).

 

But would I have to then forever abandon astronomy if I also want to one day be a mother and married.

 

Will a man accept this situation and be understandable? I have heard about astronauts having a family but it's mainly the man travelling and a compromise has been reached. But how about in my case? Can things still work out if it's the woman is into a very involved field?

 

Majoring in a niche like astronomy is a questionable idea.

 

If you major in astronomy, and DON'T become an astronaut, what next? Most companies aren't seeking candidates with astronomy degrees.

 

Look at profiles of astronomers and you'll find mostly aerospace engineers, mechanical engineers, random biology majors, etc. With those degrees you can still become an astronaut. And? You can do a million other things with it if you need a fallback option. After all the competition for astronaut jobs is very intense. Few slots and lots of people who want the jobs.

 

Instead of using your major as a vehicle for "specializing" into a niche, seek positions and internships that are relevant to your interest, and get a degree that will get your foot through as many doors as possible. For example, get that mechanical engineering degree and seek out a NASA internship to specialize.

[AMusing]

Strength in math and physics will open doors for you that you haven't even imagined yet. My advice on your professional path would be to get a degree in physics, engineering, or applied mathematics, and perhaps a minor in astronomy. You are so young still; as you take classes and grow, you will almost certainly find new areas of interest and hopefully find a career path that is lucrative, realistic, and something you can be really passionate about. But most importantly, keep that excitement that comes through in your post! The world needs more enthusiastic people with your abilities.

 

Regarding marriage and kids, you can absolutely have a career in a STEM field and a family simultaneously. True, not every man will want, say, an aerospace engineer for a wife. But many, many men would love to be with a smart, driven woman who is passionate about her career. There will always be tradeoffs and compromises in life, but it is far too early to give up on your academic interests for fear of missing out on a family. You CAN have both.

 

Take me, for example: I am earning a PhD in a very math-heavy program. It is challenging, and requires a lot of time and sacrifices. That said, at least half of the students in my program are married, and four female students have had babies while earning their PhD. You can make it work.

[central]

Pursue your dreams - and you can have them all. There is a lot of diversity and specialization in astronomy, and you probably don't know yet just what areas will suit you best (observational, theoretical, instrumentation, infrared, x-ray, radio, cosmology, space-based systems, long-baseline terrestrial, gravity studies, etc., etc.).

 

You should first focus on becoming excellent in math (including statistics) and physics, and add in courses that may prepare you for particular areas of interest (electronics, optics, engineering, computer science, data analysis, etc.). To get far in astronomy, you'll have to pursue an advanced degree, probably a Ph.D. Women are under-represented, so if you are good, you will have many opportunities, I think.

 

And it certainly does not preclude marriage and family. There will be travel, such as to conferences, and sometimes to other facilities, but these days many observational programs are run via computer in your own office. However, if you do observational work, you may (for a while) have to keep odd hours. It's little different than any other career that includes some travel. You may have to relocate a few times until you gain tenure if you go the academic route. And you core studies in math and physics will be appealing for many companies from Wall Street to major manufacturers, especially if you also have some engineering or statistics credentials.

[SarahLee96]

Thanks for the information.

[Mrin]

Ya I would second the engineering degree over astronomy. But other than that there is absolutely no reason to worry about it limiting your options to have a family. Zero, zilch. Now go out and achieve your dreams.

[Radu]

I'm in chemichal engineering [graduating this yr], and i've done lots of classes with ppl from other majors, like mechanical, electric and automations [these guys do tons of math] and computer science [also lots of math].

 

Generally, it's 1:1 ratio of men and women in my major, and 3:1 ratio of men to women in those other majors i've mentioned, i don't know if these proportions will remain the same in your country.

 

From the ones i saw that graduated and ended up in PhD programs, most of them have found someone ... in fact had no problem finding someone.

Female engineers really do good in this aspect, and from the male pov, it's understandable; men like logic and feel comfortable with it, engineering is logic dependent and you do get your way of thinking altered through it.

Not many have kids though, because if you are dedicated to this path, it might mean Masters in other places, PhD someplace else, etc ...

Only after a PhD do things somewhat settle down, and unfortunately this nomadic lifestyle from a partner is more accepted by women partners than male partners.

That does not mean you have no options to make this work [i've seen it work, i am thinking in probabilities right now], it just means that you must choose your future partner carefully.

 

PS: In your case i would recommend you go to Aerospace or Mechanical engineering.

Aerospace will most likely involve more travelling though, because only large companies are in this field, that are scattered around the globe.

[Mr Scorpio]

There are plenty of men who would love an astronomer-wife.

[sidney2718]

I would like some insight into this. Not sure where to post this but I need some suggestions about this.

 

I'll be graduating this from HS year (will still be 17 because my b-day is on Sept) but ever since I was a kid space, astronomy, the NASA, all types of math level, physics, laws of gravity, etc have always been not only what I loved but my strength. Don't have a bf yet and it's because of lack of time. I still use my telescope I was given on my 11th b-day (my favorite present).

 

But would I have to then forever abandon astronomy if I also want to one day be a mother and married.

 

Will a man accept this situation and be understandable? I have heard about astronauts having a family but it's mainly the man travelling and a compromise has been reached. But how about in my case? Can things still work out if it's the woman is into a very involved field?

 

Majoring in astronomy will NOT ruin your chance for marriage. Nor will it stop your chances of having a family. There are plenty of men around looking for a smart woman to be with.

 

You will be taking courses in physics and math and they can (believe it or not) be fun. And after college you could go to graduate school (most will give you a scholarship so money will be less of a problem) or you could go out and get a job. And yes, there are jobs, interesting ones, available to a woman with such a background. In fact with so many places trying to make up for past discrimination against women, a job should be relatively easy. Of course that depends on the economy, but we can always hope...

[TheNoBSBuddhist]

Married with children....

[gaius]

Just have to wait till all that bread and cake inheritance comes pouring in.

 

Get that astronomy degree then use it to join the air force as an officer and go for pilot training.

[Els]

Astronomy research does not necessarily mean becoming an astronaut. In fact, many astronomy grads don't go into space, but rather work in research stations on the ground. And many of the people they send into space are engineers and such, not astronomy grads. Be clear on which of the above you are actually interested in (astronomy vs being an astronaut), they do not involve the same paths.

 

That being said, yes, both are tough. For anyone. There was a LDR poster here a few years ago whose boyfriend worked as a researcher at a station. Most astronomy research stations are situated in remote areas to minimize light pollution, so his was too. She had a very hard time with the arrangements because that place was so remote that there was no possibility of her having a job or friends there. I don't know if they're still together. Their LDR was definitely much harder to reunite than many of ours', because our partners were more flexible in where they could work, instead of only having job options at a handful of remote places.

 

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't go into it - you absolutely should if it is your dream - but do go into it with eyes wide open. Talk to people in the field (you are more likely to find them in student programmes and university talks than in LS) and see what your options are. Think about the ramifications of these options and which ones would suit you.

Edited April 7, 2014 by Elswyth

[Radu]

Here's another option.

 

Go for the engineering degree, but keep astronomy as your major hobby on which you want to learn anything there is.

[PinkInTheLimo]

A new way of oppressing women has started and it is a subtle pervert one: suggesting that if a woman realises her intellectual and professional potential, she will not be able to find love. Because men don't want women who earn more money than them, who are very smart and more of that blabla. Yes there are men out there who need to be bigger than their woman in a relationship. Some of them even go so far as to get a woman from Russia or Thailand so that they can be with a woman whose economic situation is weaker than his (hoping she won't leave them).

 

The thing is that an intellectual accomplished woman does not want a man like that. Maybe she won't find a man but that is still not a reason not to pursue your passion. It's a pity that society still suggests that being having a career makes a woman less desirable and that intelligence prevents you from being a loving partner. The only way to change that is for women to chase their dreams. The guys will selfconfidence will admire her for it. The guys with inflated egos will be left with boring non-ambitious gals.

[Valen]

Always follow your passion, it's the right path. It will lead you to a life that is the most fulfilling. You can never predict the future so why plan so far ahead? Just pursue what you love.

[dragon_fly_7]

A new way of oppressing women has started and it is a subtle pervert one: suggesting that if a woman realises her intellectual and professional potential, she will not be able to find love. Because men don't want women who earn more money than them, who are very smart and more of that blabla. Yes there are men out there who need to be bigger than their woman in a relationship. Some of them even go so far as to get a woman from Russia or Thailand so that they can be with a woman whose economic situation is weaker than his (hoping she won't leave them).

 

The thing is that an intellectual accomplished woman does not want a man like that. Maybe she won't find a man but that is still not a reason not to pursue your passion. It's a pity that society still suggests that being having a career makes a woman less desirable and that intelligence prevents you from being a loving partner. The only way to change that is for women to chase their dreams. The guys will selfconfidence will admire her for it. The guys with inflated egos will be left with boring non-ambitious gals.

I know and that's so pathetic. At some point, almost every woman wants to find true love too. Though I'm career-minded and will be done with college by Oct-Nov 2015, I do want to fall in love too and find a decent man.

 

I was reading about this stupid male poster from some other site about how he's 25 years old but wants to delay marriage for 2 years. He claims to currently be with a gf that's 17 because ''all women his age are already damaged goods'' according to him, how it only works finding a young virgin, etc.

Yet another time, he posted about never finding a smart woman with personality. Then why on earth would this pathetic man only be limiting himself to 17-18 year-old HS virgins that have none or very little experience in life and by the time he marries them, they don't have experience in professions and will be another boring woman with no ambition at all?

 

Though my brother is nearly 12 years old, I would want him to find a woman that's both kind and smart. I would not want him to be with a woman that knows nothing besides how to make good recipes and cleaning. I find nothing special in that. Even my ex bf and some men in one of my former workplace can cook and clean too.

 

Another thing to keep in mind that those fools don't know is the economy is getting toughter too. So what would happen if the company shuts down and the man has to be unemployed for months or up to a year and his wife knows nothing besides household skills or has only been working at McDonalds for years, never having any interest in studying at all and it's not enough???

Edited April 7, 2014 by dragon_fly_7

[Els]

I'm really not sure why some of you are turning this into a man vs woman thing. Careers that involve long periods of travel or very limited job options in very remote locations do pose challenges to starting a family. For both men AND women. That doesn't mean that they cannot be overcome, but stating the facts hardly means that anyone is 'oppressing' anyone.

 

Would you start a family with a man who is selected to take part in the first Mars expedition? Or even the simulated expeditions, where they experiment with placing astronauts in complete seclusion for a year? (That means no phone calls, even, by the way, your man disappears for a year)

 

The OP should do what she wants to do, but I don't see how any of this 'oppressing' talk is helping. It's not about men being intimidated by her - there are heaps of men who love intelligent women - it's about logistics.

[Radu]

A new way of oppressing women has started and it is a subtle pervert one: suggesting that if a woman realises her intellectual and professional potential, she will not be able to find love. Because men don't want women who earn more money than them, who are very smart and more of that blabla. Yes there are men out there who need to be bigger than their woman in a relationship. Some of them even go so far as to get a woman from Russia or Thailand so that they can be with a woman whose economic situation is weaker than his (hoping she won't leave them).

Here we go, more innocent bras are about to be burned ...

 

While some men do in fact go to 3rd world countries like Russia and Thailand, has it ever occured to you that it might be also for other reasons ?

Russian women are very little nonsense, not that much into partying, not that much into radical feminism, and generally speaking quite motivated to succeed.

Thailand women ... could it be that they are *gasp* exotic ?

Both of those places also have not been touched by rampant radical feminism.

 

The thing is that an intellectual accomplished woman does not want a man like that.

Here's a thought ... maybe she would want a man like that ?

Can you speak for all intellectually accomplished women out there in the world, about their secret wants and desires ?

 

Maybe most are like you say, maybe not ... but not all.

 

Maybe she won't find a man but that is still not a reason not to pursue your passion. It's a pity that society still suggests that being having a career makes a woman less desirable and that intelligence prevents you from being a loving partner. The only way to change that is for women to chase their dreams. The guys will selfconfidence will admire her for it. The guys with inflated egos will be left with boring non-ambitious gals.

I don't get the wardrums thing, from what i can see, nobody has said anything bad about her chances, or said that her role is in the kitchen.

 

The intellectually accomplished women [and men] that get avoided like the plague, tend to be the fanatics ...