Spanish translation ?

[Itspointless]

Geez...another "closure" meetup. Okay! Good luck! (if she doesn't cancel on you).

 

 

Oh, and the reason you feel "good" right now is because you're an addict that just got a hit. If nothing gets resolved, you be back at square one in a few days.

 

 

I hope I'm wrong though....so, again. Good luck!

Closure is a joke if you hope that arguments will set you straight. It can be some kind of closure seeing or hearing the state of mind of the dumper. In my case she suppressed her feelings due to massive existential stress: she flipped a switch. It made me see that the woman I knew was completely gone. I am happy I did.

 

I hope it helps you Kevin, as it also will also make you feel worse for a while.

[Simon Phoenix]

Agreed!

 

My own experience:

 

When she dumped me, I was heart broken, couldn't sleep at night, couldn't focus on anything, crashed ego... . She cut me completely didnt want to communicate. She forced NC. But i missed her so much, and finally after 2-3 weeks she agreed to talk to me and meet me.

 

So i did go and talked with her (something you all against it) Of course i wanted her back and hoped she will change her mind, but when we talked she was nice to me, and explained things, and eve said that "maybe in the future bla bla" (which i didnt belive of course). But the existence of communication built my confidence. Suddenly I wasn't a wreck any more. I understood she needs something else in her life...

 

I healed very fast! without contact it could take me 10 times more to heal.

 

And for every story like this, there's 50 that don't. Very, very few dumpees can do this. I mean, there are people that can eat an entire large pizza at one sitting and not gain weight, but that doesn't mean that I would advocate eating a 16" pizza as part of a healthy diet. I mean, you need to learn to see the whole picture, not just what you personally have experienced.

[Simon Phoenix]

Wow didnt expect this thread to blow up like this plz guys be nice to each other no need to be harsh.

 

So i called her last night and we talked for about an hour and i feel good about it, i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She said the usual i guess, she was very shocked to hear from me and i caught her off guard. She said she has been thinking about me alot and misses and loves me etc etc. She also said that she is not ready to get back together and still needs to think if she can accept our differences.

 

So we are suppose to meet tonight and talk about said differences and make them clear. I have no illusions about this meeting and to be honest our conversation had the opposite effect i thought it would have on me. Now that i know that its a possibility that we might be together again in the future its got me thinking if thats want i really want. The possibility of her showing up at my door and telling me she wants to try again now makes me uneasy. If that ever happens i want her to know that we cant go back to the old RS and that she needs to understand that certain things needs to change and certain conditions need to be met for this to even be plausible hence the meeting.

 

Anyway you guys may flame me for this but it had to be done and idont regret it. I intend to go back to NC after the meeting and continue my healing.

 

Before i called all i wanted was to get her back and be with her and to hell with everything else, now i find myself asking do i actually really want this, is this the woman i really want or do i simply want what i cant have.

 

Anyway im not appologizing for doing it and i will live with the consequences of my actions.

 

I still greatly appreciate and respect all you guys advice.

 

Ultimately it's your life and your decision. Not surprised about this -- you were looking for any excuse whatsoever to do this. I think this meeting is going to end up doing a number on you, but if that's what you want, best of luck.

[lolablue17]

So i called her last night and we talked for about an hour and i feel good about it, i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

 

Before i called all i wanted was to get her back and be with her and to hell with everything else, now i find myself asking do i actually really want this, is this the woman i really want or do i simply want what i cant have.

 

Listen you guys... look at you're comments when this guy decided to call her. When i read you its almost like you're waiting him to fall again... (I know it's not true, it just sounds like it)

 

So, one single phone call made more and faster progress than months of NC. interesting... you may ask what is the progress he made?

 

1. He feels much better! isn't that what we all want in life?

2. before the phone call he was so obsessed by wanting to get her back no matter what and he didnt have even one single brain cell free for anything else. Now when a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, his mind is free, and now he has mental resources to wonder whether he wants her at all...

 

just Remember his emotions and consciousness few ours ago. just go and read you're all analysis about how he didnt make progress at all... and 1 phone call changed all that.

 

It doesn't matter what's gonna happen in their meeting. He is so much better now, he can deal with her. And if he gets hurt again in the future? well, there's always a chance for that any time to anyone. its a speculation... But the solid fact is he's feeling better.

[TaraMaiden]

Listen you guys... look at you're comments when this guy decided to call her. When i read you its almost like you're waiting him to fall again... (I know it's not true, it just sounds like it)

 

So, one single phone call made more and faster progress than months of NC. interesting... you may ask what is the progress he made?

 

1. He feels much better! isn't that what we all want in life?

2. before the phone call he was so obsessed by wanting to get her back no matter what and he didnt have even one single brain cell free for anything else. Now when a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, his mind is free, and now he has mental resources to wonder whether he wants her at all...

 

just Remember his emotions and consciousness few ours ago. just go and read you're all analysis about how he didnt make progress at all... and 1 phone call changed all that.

 

It doesn't matter what's gonna happen in their meeting. He is so much better now, he can deal with her. And if he gets hurt again in the future? well, there's always a chance for that any time to anyone. its a speculation... But the solid fact is he's feeling better.

Actually, it does. It's crucial. I would say it's central to our whole raft of advice.

it matters, and how.

[Simon Phoenix]

Listen you guys... look at you're comments when this guy decided to call her. When i read you its almost like you're waiting him to fall again... (I know it's not true, it just sounds like it)

 

So, one single phone call made more and faster progress than months of NC. interesting... you may ask what is the progress he made?

 

1. He feels much better! isn't that what we all want in life?

2. before the phone call he was so obsessed by wanting to get her back no matter what and he didnt have even one single brain cell free for anything else. Now when a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, his mind is free, and now he has mental resources to wonder whether he wants her at all...

 

just Remember his emotions and consciousness few ours ago. just go and read you're all analysis about how he didnt make progress at all... and 1 phone call changed all that.

 

It doesn't matter what's gonna happen in their meeting. He is so much better now, he can deal with her. And if he gets hurt again in the future? well, there's always a chance for that any time to anyone. its a speculation... But the solid fact is he's feeling better.

 

That's called the contact high. It's usually followed by a lower low once it wears off. I mean, this is a pretty standard immediate reaction -- it very rarely holds. And no one wants him to feel bad, which is why we tried to dissuade him from doing what he's doing. If he can get through it fine, then great -- I, and a lot of others who have commented in this thread, would love to be wrong. But odds are he's going to be another carcass lying on the side of the road like the hundreds of others that take the approach he has taken. I realize you are pot-committed to be stubborn as hell about this, but I wouldn't do a victory dance just yet.

[lauri]

Wow didnt expect this thread to blow up like this plz guys be nice to each other no need to be harsh.

 

So i called her last night and we talked for about an hour and i feel good about it, i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She said the usual i guess, she was very shocked to hear from me and i caught her off guard. She said she has been thinking about me alot and misses and loves me etc etc. She also said that she is not ready to get back together and still needs to think if she can accept our differences.

 

So we are suppose to meet tonight and talk about said differences and make them clear. I have no illusions about this meeting and to be honest our conversation had the opposite effect i thought it would have on me. Now that i know that its a possibility that we might be together again in the future its got me thinking if thats want i really want. The possibility of her showing up at my door and telling me she wants to try again now makes me uneasy. If that ever happens i want her to know that we cant go back to the old RS and that she needs to understand that certain things needs to change and certain conditions need to be met for this to even be plausible hence the meeting.

 

Anyway you guys may flame me for this but it had to be done and idont regret it. I intend to go back to NC after the meeting and continue my healing.

 

Before i called all i wanted was to get her back and be with her and to hell with everything else, now i find myself asking do i actually really want this, is this the woman i really want or do i simply want what i cant have.

 

Anyway im not appologizing for doing it and i will live with the consequences of my actions.

 

I still greatly appreciate and respect all you guys advice.

 

As long as you realize you may have ruined any chance of getting back together with her by contacting her, then you'll be okay. All you've done is validated her feelings and she will now meet you (or ditch you to get back at you) and realize she "doesn't love you anymore".

 

Lets say her Facebook post was about YOU. That means she thinks what she did was OKAY and that its YOUR fault for you two not talking. In the end man, all you have done is tell her its okay for her breaking up with you by reaching out.

 

Why are you even laying out conditions for her to understand if you two were to get back together? She needs to be the one bringing this up, not you. You need to be a guy who is not effected by her because you are confident and have moved on.

 

She thinks about you all the time because you are the ultimate challenge to her. I honestly hope you do what you say you are going to do after you see her because I see a lot of potential problems arising after.

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Listen you guys... look at you're comments when this guy decided to call her. When i read you its almost like you're waiting him to fall again... (I know it's not true, it just sounds like it)

 

So, one single phone call made more and faster progress than months of NC. interesting... you may ask what is the progress he made?

 

1. He feels much better! isn't that what we all want in life?

2. before the phone call he was so obsessed by wanting to get her back no matter what and he didnt have even one single brain cell free for anything else. Now when a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, his mind is free, and now he has mental resources to wonder whether he wants her at all...

 

just Remember his emotions and consciousness few ours ago. just go and read you're all analysis about how he didnt make progress at all... and 1 phone call changed all that.

 

It doesn't matter what's gonna happen in their meeting. He is so much better now, he can deal with her. And if he gets hurt again in the future? well, there's always a chance for that any time to anyone. its a speculation... But the solid fact is he's feeling better.

 

Actually it matters a LOT what happens in that meeting

All this good feelings will be erased if it doesnt go well. Ive seen it WAY too many times. Yeah he's happy now she responded. That's incredibly obvious. If the meeting sucks, he'll be worse off than before and then he will write more blogs about how sad he is, you'll backtrack the statements and make them sound like you're right, and we'll tell him the same thing.

 

Or they get back together during that short process and she leaves again when its convenient.

[BC1980]

Wow didnt expect this thread to blow up like this plz guys be nice to each other no need to be harsh.

 

So i called her last night and we talked for about an hour and i feel good about it, i feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She said the usual i guess, she was very shocked to hear from me and i caught her off guard. She said she has been thinking about me alot and misses and loves me etc etc. She also said that she is not ready to get back together and still needs to think if she can accept our differences.

 

So we are suppose to meet tonight and talk about said differences and make them clear. I have no illusions about this meeting and to be honest our conversation had the opposite effect i thought it would have on me. Now that i know that its a possibility that we might be together again in the future its got me thinking if thats want i really want. The possibility of her showing up at my door and telling me she wants to try again now makes me uneasy. If that ever happens i want her to know that we cant go back to the old RS and that she needs to understand that certain things needs to change and certain conditions need to be met for this to even be plausible hence the meeting.

 

Anyway you guys may flame me for this but it had to be done and idont regret it. I intend to go back to NC after the meeting and continue my healing.

 

Before i called all i wanted was to get her back and be with her and to hell with everything else, now i find myself asking do i actually really want this, is this the woman i really want or do i simply want what i cant have.

 

Anyway im not appologizing for doing it and i will live with the consequences of my actions.

 

I still greatly appreciate and respect all you guys advice.

 

I'm not surprised you contacted her, but you are just getting a hit of the crack. NC has waves that you need to ride out, and it's crucial. It's like dieting or overcoming an addiction. You've got to work through those cravings without going back to the source.

 

Other people are mentioning this breaking NC high because we have seen and been though it firsthand. I broke NC and was on a high for a few days and actually later experienced the worst depression a month later. You keep breaking NC because you want to delay the acceptance that it's over. You will forever be in a holding pattern if this continues. You've got to commit to NC to get to the other side, as hard as it may be at times.

[lolablue17]

That's called the contact high. It's usually followed by a lower low once it wears off.

 

1. before that he didnt have any highs... only low low low low. now he got a little high. he can not go lower than he was before. when you're so poor, also the small coins mean a lot!

 

2. Lets postpone the discussion and see what happens... he's meeting her tonight.

[BC1980]

So, one single phone call made more and faster progress than months of NC. interesting... you may ask what is the progress he made?

 

But you're missing the point. The measure of progress should be what his reaction is when times get tough. It's the daily chipping away at NC that will enable you to do the right thing when you are tempted. Use your NC time wisely, so you won't freak out when you see some Spanish lyrics. You can step back, evaluate, and work through the urge to contact.

 

I'm not judging him because I've been down this path to hell, and it's not pretty. We're just offering advice based on what we have seen and experienced time and time again.

[BC1980]

1. before that he didnt have any highs... only low low low low. now he got a little high. he can not go lower than he was before.

 

Oh, you can go lower. I responded to a thread today where the person contacted the ex (yet again), and she basically told him she had no attraction to him and was with someone else. Yup, you can utterly humiliate yourself. Trust me, I don't think there is a bottom. It can always get worse.

[Simon Phoenix]

1. before that he didnt have any highs... only low low low low. now he got a little high. he can not go lower than he was before. when you're so poor, also the small coins mean a lot!

 

2. Lets postpone the discussion and see what happens... he's meeting her tonight.

 

Oh, he can go much lower. He hasn't even scratched the surface of how low he can go unfortunately. I hope he never does, but you haven't been on here long enough apparently. Your viewpoints, while well-meaning, are extremely naive and, unfortunately, not how the real world usually works. In the world of movies and TV, what you say has a lot of clout. However, movies and TV are very rarely realistic when it comes to matters of the heart because their purpose is to entertain, and happy endings are a lot more marketable than what usually happens.

 

As for his meeting tonight, I would guess there's going to be a lot of nonspecific talk (I miss you and think about you, but the timing isn't right. Maybe someday it will be) that will just confuse the hell out of him more.

[lolablue17]

Yeah he's happy now she responded. That's incredibly obvious. If the meeting sucks, he'll be worse off than before and then he will write more blogs about how sad he is,.

 

Well, we'll see about that, wont we?

 

 

Or they get back together during that short process and she leaves again when its convenient.

 

So now you judge their relationship and already have a verdict that they must never be together? Are not you exaggerating a bit?!

[TaraMaiden]

The saying 'never go back' is a sound one.

 

If the shoes pinched, hurt and felt awful, putting them back on again a few months down the line isn't going to improve anything.

[lolablue17]

As for his meeting tonight, I would guess there's going to be a lot of nonspecific talk (I miss you and think about you, but the timing isn't right. Maybe someday it will be) that will just confuse the hell out of him more.

 

Maybe it will confuse the hell out of him like you said, or maybe the opposite. we just have to wait and see

[ConfusedHumanBeing]

Well, we'll see about that, wont we?

 

 

 

 

So now you judge their relationship and already have a verdict that they must never be together? Are not you exaggerating a bit?!

 

1st-Quit battling with people

2nd-Im not judging anyone. Ive seen this story played out. Numerous of times. Numbers

3rd- Quit putting words In my mouth

 

I dont want infractions so Ill stop lol.....OP, I obviously hope it works out, but be warned, it could get SO much worse.

[dragon_fly_7]

si te ama, te lo demostrará. si te extraña, volverá. si realmente le importas, lo intentará otra vez. si no hace nada, olvídalo

 

Thanks

Sure, I'm hispanic and Spanish is my mother tongue.

 

Translation: Yes, she loves you. She will show you. Yes, she misses you. She'll come back. If you're very important to her, she'll try again. If she doesn't, forget about her.

[Simon Phoenix]

Maybe it will confuse the hell out of him like you said, or maybe the opposite. we just have to wait and see

 

Maybe she'll tell him that she is taking a job at the circus and is moving to Malaysia too. I mean, anything is possible right?

[TaraMaiden]

Maybe she'll tell him that she is taking a job at the circus and is moving to Malaysia too. I mean, anything is possible right?

 

Have you been reading my mail - ?!

[BC1980]

As for his meeting tonight, I would guess there's going to be a lot of nonspecific talk (I miss you and think about you, but the timing isn't right. Maybe someday it will be) that will just confuse the hell out of him more.

 

If I were a betting person, I'd say this is what will happen. Unfortunately, that's what I have found happens with a lot of these meetings. I've seen this in my own life and on this board. Dumpers love to see the dumpees and talk a lot of nonspecific garbage to keep the dumpee as a backup. Most people, in general, just have a difficult time completely cutting someone off forever. It's usually going to be up to the dumpee to come to that decision.

 

Emotions are confusing on both sides after a breakup, which is why it is advisable to simply stay the hell away from one another. I do wish the OP luck tonight, and we will see what happens.

[mtnbiker3000]

Kevin – As others have mentioned, NC is not easy. It is hard. Damn hard. It is a struggle day in and day out. But it is for your benefit. She is not going to help you out of this mess. You are the only one who can do that. We can help, but you have to step up and get tough. Get mad. Get pissed the f*ck off!!

 

Look, it has been 366 days (St. Patty’s – 2013) since I have seen or spoken to my ex. Probably one of the worst years of my life. But, also necessary. I am so glad I went NC when I did. The sooner you start, the faster you will get past this.

 

Some folks here will tell you to do whatever you want. But just remember, the best course of action is usually the harder one. I think you know that.

 

We don’t say this over and over to bash you. Or make you feel stupid. Or weak. Really, we just don’t want you to eat sh*t. I advise cancelling this meeting and going complete radio silence. You can and will feel worse with continued contact.

[KevinC]

Well you guys were right meeting didnt happen, things got ugly and have probably killed all chances of ever getting back together but altleast now i know i guess...so go for it guys let me have it...

[LostConfused123]

Well you guys were right meeting didnt happen, things got ugly and have probably killed all chances of ever getting back together but altleast now i know i guess...so go for it guys let me have it...

Hey, don't beat yourself up. It's human nature to fight for what we love.

I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you hoped.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well you guys were right meeting didnt happen, things got ugly and have probably killed all chances of ever getting back together but altleast now i know i guess...so go for it guys let me have it...

 

No one is going to "let you have it" -- you're in enough pain and we didn't want you to experience more. No one is happy about being right in this situation. Hopefully this situation will be a learning experience so you can make a smarter decision next time. Sorry you went through this.