KunFuZed Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 I want to know if I was wrong for what I did. OK me and my boyfriend were together for 9...10 months at the time, and we had an argument because of his in-securities and i forgave him for him accusing me of doing wrong that very second that we hung up the fone...well I kinda had to sleep on it the the next morning when I woke up he was forgiven, but for him the next day he stopped talking to me. We attend the same college and I would see him on campus and say "hi" to him and he would ignore me. If I was with a friend I would say hi to him or ask him how he is doing and he would ignore me and turn to my friend and and say hi to them or ask them how they are doing. This went on for three months and with in that three months I found a male "friend" who i thought was there for me doing the things my "boyfriend" wasn't doing. He was talking to me, He would come spend time with me, come hang out with me in my dorm or in my dorm room we would watch movies and things like that. He had a girlfriend back home i never thought nothing would ever happen between us but one day he comes and tells me that him and his girlfriend broke up and we started getting a little closer started kissing and I would sneaking him in and let him stay in my room over night. even though my "boyfriend" wasn't speaking to me I still loved him and still wanted to be with him, but the other guy and I ended up having sex one of the nights he stayed and we promised each other that we would keep that between just the two of us. Few days after that my "boyfriend comes back to me and and asks me to be back with him even though i wanted to I told him no because I was mad and confused. I just made a mistake and slept with someone else. He was two days too late. One day he comes to my dorm to talk to me and he over hears the guy that I slept with telling his friends in the lobby of my dorm he was talking quietly either and there was a lot of people in the lobby at the time. so thats how my "boyfriend" found out about what i did. Now my question is After he refused to speak to me for three months was I wrong for feeling it was time to move on and sleeping with some one else? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KunFuZed Posted January 27, 2005 Author Share Posted January 27, 2005 Should that be considered cheating? If he wanted for us to get back together should he let that affect his decision? Link to post Share on other sites
Hund1976 Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 I would say if someone refuses to speak to you for more then a few days you are technically broken up. Its stupid of him to expect you to wait around for three months for him. What if he never wanted to speak with you again. You could have been waiting forever. Link to post Share on other sites
emopunk Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Technically speaking, since the two of you had no officially called it off it was cheating. But I'm missing the component of whether or not you still wanted to be with your boyfriend. If not, then while it was still cheating, you weren't leading him on or betraying him. If you did... I don't really understand why you would cheat. But I do have to agree with hund in part. Perhaps "a few days" is being a bit quick about it, but the idea is sound. You can only go so long with no encouragement that anything still exists. You can hope, but its hard and it hurts. So no, I don't think that after three months you were wrong for looking elsewhere (though I have a problem with the other guy for getting that close to a woman who was not his girlfriend.) In any event, actual communication would have worked wonders. If he hadn't cut off speaking to you, if you had presented him with an ultimatum then things may have been different. You did your part, though in trying to talk to him. The only error I can see is that you didn't call it off... otherwise there is always that area for misinterpretation. Link to post Share on other sites
xhiliration Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I don't think it's cheating. If your boyfriend decided to cut all contact off with you and refuse to speak to you for 3 months, he's basically stating his indifference and disinterest, and you're free to go forward and see whom you please. I think that ignoring you for 3 months and leaving you confused about the status of your relationship warrants a breakup. It's not only rude and disrespectful, but just plain hurtful to cut someone off like that. And why does he get to decide when he leaves and comes back, w/o talking to you? That's just not fair. Link to post Share on other sites
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