How do you all deal with fear?

[Lifeguides]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, every time I identify something as a roadblock to achieving a goal the root of it is fear.

 

• 
  At work fear of being wrong leads me to not speak up when I have a novel idea
  

• 
  On the tennis court fear of making a mistake leads me to tighten up and lose the match
  

• 
  In relationships, fear of being hurt leads me to put up a guard inhibits my ability to share myself authentically
  

 

It's easy to rationalize through these situations, but in the moment it becomes so much harder to go against what is "natural." Yet, I know I am twice the person without fear.

 

A friend of mine just got me thinking on this topic, he sent me this

which he made to promote a project he's working on called "Lifeguides" (yeah, I couldn't really think of a good username )

 

Where do our fears come from? Is it even possible to move past them?

[TaraMaiden]

Fear comes from not wanting to lose control of a situation.

It germinates as a tiny seed in our minds, and grows disproportionately large, until it's 'bigger than we are' and ends up controlling us.

 

I mentioned this to a friend today...

 

Sit quietly, comfortably, on your couch, chair or bed, with a bit of peace and quiet, close your eyes, and just focus on your breath, then ask yourself:

"What am I afraid of, exactly?"

 

Most fears germinate in our minds and left unchecked, grow monstrous - but they're still just in our minds.

we cultivate them unnecessarily, and permit them to daunt us, but when you consider how 'big' the fear is, and how 'small' our heads are by comparison, it seems ridiculous that we have permitted such an imaginary scenario to grow so disproportionately enormous.

Knock it back into shape, and cut it down to size.

 

It's a bit like abseiling.... You're never going to reach your destination unless you conquer your fear, and take that leap.

It feels dangerous, uncertain and risky, but you're quite safe, really.....

And once you realise that leap is possible, it actually feels very liberating.

But some things need a little faith and a big leap.

Nobody ever spanned a chasm in two small steps.

[melell]

I don't know if it will help at all but for me fear is always in relation to something else-it doesn't exist by itself.

 

So fear is cultivated by thought. But so is bravery, enjoyment etc.

 

For me I deal with fear by looking at thought- or the nature of thought. It makes it a lot easier to take lightly those types of feelings. So the less credit I give it, the less often I feel fearful.

[jba10582]

For those in particular, humility in knowing that it is okay, to be yourself, to pursue what makes you happy, and to learn through the process, because, as humans, we have flaws, and going through the struggle to overcoming them is a very endearing and admirable quality.

 

An author (can't remember if Tolle, or Hahn), describes that feeling you say is natural, in that it is basically reaching a stage of acceptance of what is, rather than a resistance to it in that you are dealing with the problem in its State as it is now, rather than on the construct of what it could be that exists only in your mind.

 

However, if it's a big hungry lion though, the pre-wired flight or fight response is best!

[mea_M]

I'm not exactly sure where they come from. My guess part of something learned from early childhood. Or perhaps situational stuff we've dealt with as adults. Most likely a combo of the two. As for getting past them, yes of course. I'm all for exposure to our fears as a means of getting through it. For example. You don't like spiders, well start exposing yourself to spiders and see they won't hurt you. In my mind it takes away the fear. To see oh wow it's totally ok, nothing happened is a good feeling. Just my 2 cents. Hope it made sense!

 

Mea :-)

[Lifeguides]

Thanks, that makes sense. There is such a sub-conscious side to fear that perhaps the only way to deal with it is to train our minds with experience. For instance, there are born surgeons, people with the steadiest of hands and then there are people who, under pressure will crumble. I believe it's some sort of deep-rooted fear that developed early on that makes a person shaky under tight situations.

 

The downside to the experience-training idea is that it becomes a virtuous cycle, your fear reduces your chance of success, therefore you fail which adds to your fear...

[Mr.Milked]

• At work fear of being wrong leads me to not speak up when I have a novel idea
  

Perhaps you afraid of criticism more so than being wrong. It's ok to be wrong because that is how we learn from mistakes as well as trying to be well informed. However, if you are convicted you are correct, you must speak up.

 

• On the tennis court fear of making a mistake leads me to tighten up and lose the match
  

Maybe you really aren't that good at tennis?

 

• In relationships, fear of being hurt leads me to put up a guard inhibits my ability to share myself authentically
  

When you find someone you want to share yourself with "authentically", most likely there will be no stopping you.