Moving on from cheating..

[c0nfused88]

I have read very mixed views on confessing cheating. For those of you out there who have cheated on someone either in an emotional or physical way and NOT confessed to it, how did it go? Were you found out? Did you regret it? Did you make the necessary changes to leave the relationship or make it better?

 

If you didn't confess-- are you still with that person and happy?

[Secret Advisor]

As you have said, there are mixed opinions. Personally I don't recommend confessing. It does more harm to the person being confessed to especially if they have no idea that you have been unfaithful. All it does is relieve your own guilt. Of course, the down-side of not confessing is having to live with he guilt for the rest of your life.

[No Limit]

My opinion is; confess and let the other person decide as well.

If I was cheated on I'd want to know directly, they could even phone me out of bed and tell me, I just want to get the heck out and dodge that bullet. Why bother with a cheater, endangering my health and sanity when there are so many people who don't cheat out there?

 

Don't need it, don't want it.

[mattny]

I got caught. Felt like crap afterwards. Talked it out and she forgave me. I never did anything after that again, never so much as looked at another girl. We only lasted another year, she gave up and said she 'regretted her decision'. Turns out Id been given the same treatment....what goes around comes around.

 

I would never do it again. I choose to walk from my next relationship if need be rather than cheat. Being on both ends of the stick sucks.

[Spectre]

As you have said, there are mixed opinions. Personally I don't recommend confessing. It does more harm to the person being confessed to especially if they have no idea that you have been unfaithful. All it does is relieve your own guilt. Of course, the down-side of not confessing is having to live with he guilt for the rest of your life.

 

It is mentalities like that are very very problematic. You are still harming this person even if you do not confess. You are denying them the right to a faithful partner. You are denying them the choice of the type of person they want to be with and the type of relationship they want. That isn't fair.

 

The age old excuse of "you just want to relieve your guilt" has never even made any sense. Admitting to sleeping with someone else isn't going to make you feel less guilty about it. It still happened, you still hurt someone. That doesn't disappear merely because they become aware they are being harmed.

 

Trust me when I say you causing a person to live a significant chunk of their life with someone based on a lie is far far worse then whatever pain the person will feel if they are told the truth. Any cheater who can't see that just plain doesn't have even a speck of love for the one they cheated on.

Edited April 20, 2014 by Spectre

[HomanWater]

As you have said, there are mixed opinions. Personally I don't recommend confessing. It does more harm to the person being confessed to especially if they have no idea that you have been unfaithful. All it does is relieve your own guilt. Of course, the down-side of not confessing is having to live with he guilt for the rest of your life.

 

Wrong.

 

You confess to let other person make an informed decision, whether they want to continue that relationship. That's respectful thing to do.

 

Depriving other person of this information shows you give 0 crap about them and just want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. Even if you confess, it might be too little too late, but that's how it goes.