Divorce/Separation UK

[GarrusVakarian]

Some of you might of read my previous posts?. But basically, my wife of two years had an affair for about six weeks?. I found out at the end of September, she ran to stay at her parents, I still don't 100% know the full story guess I will. But last month the OM wife blew the whole thing wide open end of Feb very publicly. I should of done this myself from day 1, but I only did half a job. Head was in a state at the time, wasn't thinking straight.

 

I think now after two years marriage, my marriage was basically her fantasy marriage, everything she wanted. But marriage didn't meet up to her expectations. Its now time for her to have another fantasy.

 

Wish I had came here far sooner. But its at the point now, I want to keep the marital home. Don't believe I should lose everything due to her actions. She has said she wants £10k to walk away from house and sign it all over to me. That's fine. I am moving on with my life and getting out there. But at same time I feel like she is still in control and I want that stopped.

 

I want to burst the bubble she is living in, I want to file for divorce. But should I wait till the house is all signed over to me?, so she cant argue it later. Or tell her I am going to file for divorce and shock her into action, because at the moment she doesn't seem to be in that much of a rush to do anything.

 

But I just want the bitch gone!.

[hurts1968]

Some of you might of read my previous posts?. But basically, my wife of two years had an affair for about six weeks?. I found out at the end of September, she ran to stay at her parents, I still don't 100% know the full story guess I will. But last month the OM wife blew the whole thing wide open end of Feb very publicly. I should of done this myself from day 1, but I only did half a job. Head was in a state at the time, wasn't thinking straight.

 

I think now after two years marriage, my marriage was basically her fantasy marriage, everything she wanted. But marriage didn't meet up to her expectations. Its now time for her to have another fantasy.

 

Wish I had came here far sooner. But its at the point now, I want to keep the marital home. Don't believe I should lose everything due to her actions. She has said she wants £10k to walk away from house and sign it all over to me. That's fine. I am moving on with my life and getting out there. But at same time I feel like she is still in control and I want that stopped.

 

I want to burst the bubble she is living in, I want to file for divorce. But should I wait till the house is all signed over to me?, so she cant argue it later. Or tell her I am going to file for divorce and shock her into action, because at the moment she doesn't seem to be in that much of a rush to do anything.

 

But I just want the bitch gone!.

 

 

Apparently she could still make a claim on the house even if it is signed over to you!! Be very careful

 

Speak to your solicitor about a 'Clean Break' clause in your divorce, means she can't come back after and make further claims.

 

If you read my thread I'm in a bit of a similar position, putting the shock, the love etc to one-side she just wants to move in with her OM asap, know him 6 weeks with my daughter...happy to sign the house over to me asap and take a little more of the savings just to be with this man.

[GarrusVakarian]

Apparently she could still make a claim on the house even if it is signed over to you!! Be very careful

 

Speak to your solicitor about a 'Clean Break' clause in your divorce, means she can't come back after and make further claims.

 

If you read my thread I'm in a bit of a similar position, putting the shock, the love etc to one-side she just wants to move in with her OM asap, know him 6 weeks with my daughter...happy to sign the house over to me asap and take a little more of the savings just to be with this man.

 

I am going to get some legal advice, just potentially the house could be worth more then it was when I had it valued in Oct. I don't want the wife to know about that. Thing is, If I lose house, I wont get another place like that!. Don't want to fall of property ladder, cant afford to. My wife has dragged this on since Nov 13. She wouldn't speak to me about anything, it the end I had to go through her parents to get things moving. She didn't even move her clothes out until 3 weeks ago. She only did that because she knew I wasn't there, which I thought was really cowardly, but it sums her up.

 

Are you in a position to keep your house on your own. If so try to keep it for the kiddies sake.

[TaraMaiden]

UK-citizen here:

If you can, send her a cheque "in full and final payment" for her share of the house, and yes, get that clause put into your divorce agreement.

 

Of course, it works both ways: if she, for example, gains an inheritance or wins the lottery, you don't get a look-in.

 

Think very carefully about, and before, doing anything: Examine your motives.

All 'good' decisions are based on logic, rationale and careful thinking.

They should never be fuelled by emotional motives.

Using terms like 'bitch' in your posts naturally demonstrates that you're still very raw from your experience, but you MUST make sure you base your decisions on what is legally right, not what seems right in your heart.

The former are sure to work.

The latter are doomed to failure.

 

But certainly, get legal advice.

 

Good luck.

[GarrusVakarian]

UK-citizen here:

If you can, send her a cheque "in full and final payment" for her share of the house, and yes, get that clause put into your divorce agreement.

 

Of course, it works both ways: if she, for example, gains an inheritance or wins the lottery, you don't get a look-in.

 

Think very carefully about, and before, doing anything: Examine your motives.

All 'good' decisions are based on logic, rationale and careful thinking.

They should never be fuelled by emotional motives.

Using terms like 'bitch' in your posts naturally demonstrates that you're still very raw from your experience, but you MUST make sure you base your decisions on what is legally right, not what seems right in your heart.

The former are sure to work.

The latter are doomed to failure.

 

But certainly, get legal advice.

 

Good luck.

 

 

I am somewhat raw I suppose, mainly because its dragged out this long. But the bitch comment is mainly due to her behaviour and I think it is very well deserved!. But I do see what you are saying?.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm not suggesting she DOESN'T deserve it - I'm merely advising you to make 100%, belt-and-braces sure that the decisions you make, are based on logical thought, diligent research and careful consideration of all facts, before implementing them.

 

Emotional responses shouldn't even get a look in.

That way, there can be no justified reproach, or bitterly regretful hind-sight.

[hurts1968]

I am going to get some legal advice, just potentially the house could be worth more then it was when I had it valued in Oct. I don't want the wife to know about that. Thing is, If I lose house, I wont get another place like that!. Don't want to fall of property ladder, cant afford to. My wife has dragged this on since Nov 13. She wouldn't speak to me about anything, it the end I had to go through her parents to get things moving. She didn't even move her clothes out until 3 weeks ago. She only did that because she knew I wasn't there, which I thought was really cowardly, but it sums her up.

 

Are you in a position to keep your house on your own. If so try to keep it for the kiddies sake.

 

 

 

We have agreed (unofficially) that i will keep the house, she will take two thirds of the savings and me one third...She will pay her own divorce costs (apparently she could have claimed it against me) We have agreed maintenance costs and she has waved the right to spousal maintenance if she moves in with this bloke.

 

We have agreed when I can have my little angel - 1 week Friday 6 pm to Monday 7 am and the next week Saturday 12 pm to Monday 7 am and take her out 1 night a week for tea/fun

 

In theory this all sounds OK, get to keep my house, see my daughter more than most in my position. But that isn't doing anything to stop the pain, the pain is overwhelming and taking over my life....I want to be there when my daughter wakes up in a morning, when she goes to bed at night. i don't want her spending more time with another man than me!

 

The hurt is unbearable, on top of that I'm in a new job, its extremely hard with huge amounts of responsibility.