soccerrprp Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 I can't quite believe I lived with a guy I wasn't prepared to marry. The circumstances were not great though and it was part of a bigger mess where I got played. In what way, may I ask? My gf and I have decided not to move in together prior to wedding. BUT we have also decided not to have a lengthy engagement, so no more than 6-months. Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 In what way, may I ask? He had a personality disorder and I got duped. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EverLastluv Posted March 27, 2014 Author Share Posted March 27, 2014 I can't quite believe I lived with a guy I wasn't prepared to marry. The circumstances were not great though and it was part of a bigger mess where I got played. My now-husband and I were engaged with wedding all booked before we lived together. I would thoroughly recommend that approach. We did pre-marital counselling before moving in together, we had a lot of practical and intimate conversations about various scenarios. We drafted the pre-nup and had prelim conversations with lawyers about wills. I saw the marriage as the single biggest decision I would make for the rest of my life. Bigger than children. Children is a larger commitment, in my mind, but one I know I would never go on to regret. So I wanted to be sure as sure can be that our marriage was the right choice, and *then* the moving in came. I really do recommend that approach. It was so 'clean' in that so much was taken account of upfront, and you only get to that point if you are both totally committed to the r'ship, which makes everything so much nicer and easier at the good bits, like living together and getting married. Not everyone (especially in the UK, ) is as assertive/practical as I was about the relationship, the order things happened in etc, but having been divorced once and also in a destructive relationship after that, I wasn't prepared to leave anything to chance or not address something through wanting to appear polite! I really like the way you planned out your marriage arrangments. My first marriage was a toatal lost, I ended up with less than I expected. Thats why I vow only for religious marriage instead of making it legal. I am planning this time hoping things will work out 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Johnson1 Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 In my opinion, living together before marriage is no indicator of either its ensuing success or failure. Neither, for that matter, is marriage itself. Exactly, so even if there's a chance of failure, which there undoubtedly always is in most cases, there's no point in making a union binding beforehand. It only complicates things when the relationship goes south. I will say that at least by living together it gives you some kind of idea what it's like to truly see how the person is that you get involved with before you make it official. I lot of times that's enough for people to see that it wouldn't work out. Since most people have had sex before marriage the religion thing is pointless. It's more of a damnation to get divorced than it is to live together before marriage anyway. This way you're not making a commitment to God. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author EverLastluv Posted March 31, 2014 Author Share Posted March 31, 2014 Exactly, so even if there's a chance of failure, which there undoubtedly always is in most cases, there's no point in making a union binding beforehand. It only complicates things when the relationship goes south. I will say that at least by living together it gives you some kind of idea what it's like to truly see how the person is that you get involved with before you make it official. I lot of times that's enough for people to see that it wouldn't work out. Since most people have had sex before marriage the religion thing is pointless. It's more of a damnation to get divorced than it is to live together before marriage anyway. This way you're not making a commitment to God. Due to the fact he already had a past of years living with someone and no marriage. I feel that is so wrong. why live together and say " thats my wife" and in reality under god its not . I rather go throught the whole system in our religion. If it dont work then at least I try. After that I would be looking for my third husband LOL Link to post Share on other sites
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