MassiveAtom Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Just reply with your take on whether, in your opinion, the following statements and questions are healthy or unhealthy. You can also switch to whatever subjective judgments you feel are appropriate. This ain't no scientific study. Is it possible to be in love with a person and NOT like them? Is that healthy? If someone treats you badly, not abusive or evil, just kind of crass and cold, can you STILL love that person. Is commitment to be abandoned ever? Is commitment defined in trouble? Now for some statements... Healthy or Unhealthy "I love you, no matter what happens." When you're in love with someone, you want to see them and will carve time out of your schedule to do that. You do things for them in hopes that they will be happy because of your actions. You feel that you and the other person "Complete" each other. You make each other angry sometimes. VERY angry. After a while you stop being angry and want to be with them again. Sex is playful and frequent. Sex is used as a bargaining tool. "I understand how you feel. I don't blame you one bit for feeling like you do. If I were in your position, I'd feel exactly the same way." "What's important to me is that you're happy, I can take care of myself." Becoming outwardly sad and angry after an unexpected breakup. Being frightened after an unexpected breakup. Typing all these statements. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Originally posted by MassiveAtom 1. Is it possible to be in love with a person and NOT like them? Is that healthy? 2. If someone treats you badly, not abusive or evil, just kind of crass and cold, can you STILL love that person. 3. Is commitment to be abandoned ever? 4. Is commitment defined in trouble? Now for some statements... Healthy or Unhealthy 5. "I love you, no matter what happens." 6. When you're in love with someone, you want to see them and will carve time out of your schedule to do that. 7. You do things for them in hopes that they will be happy because of your actions. 8. You feel that you and the other person "Complete" each other. 9. You make each other angry sometimes. VERY angry. 10. After a while you stop being angry and want to be with them again. 11. Sex is playful and frequent. 12. Sex is used as a bargaining tool. 13. "I understand how you feel. I don't blame you one bit for feeling like you do. If I were in your position, I'd feel exactly the same way." 14. "What's important to me is that you're happy, I can take care of myself." 15. Becoming outwardly sad and angry after an unexpected breakup. 16. Being frightened after an unexpected breakup. 1. Yes, its possible to be in love with someone and not like them from time to time. It is also one of the main reasons people break up - they fell in love without getting to know the person and find out if they actually like them or not independently of that 'love'. Once they get past the 'in love' and move to the 'getting to know you' part, they often find that they don't like them much as a person - sometimes not enough to want to stay with them and they "fall out of love" as a result. 2. Depends on the situation. If it was my kid doing that, I think I would still love her - I'd not like what she was doing, but I don't think I could stop loving my own kid. A romantic situation would be different though. 3. When both partner's needs aren't being met and there's no chance they will be in the context of that relationship, then any commitments should end as amicably as possible. 4. I'm not sure what you mean by that. 5. Healthy, depending on the relationship. 6. Healthy 7. Healthy 8. Depends on if its healthy or unhealthy competition 9. Healthy 10. Healthy 11. Depends on the parameters of it in a particular relationship - generally, though - normal 12. Unhealthy 13. Depends on whether its heartfelt or obsequious 14. Healthy 15. Healthy 16. Healthy Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Is it possible to be in love with a person and NOT like them? Is that healthy? it is possible, and prob. not healthy. why woukd you want to be with someone you do not like, kinda makes it hard for you to happy. If someone treats you badly, not abusive or evil, just kind of crass and cold, can you STILL love that person. yes, and that is a good reason not to like them, as you stated earlier. Is commitment to be abandoned ever? yes, although it should be renamed to a possibilty. but then it would not sound as good but for the loving but not liking thing.... that i equate more with a family member, not someone you choose to be with. as for the healthy/ unhealthy....some are unhealthy, but again, these are out of context, so it woukld be difficult to say. But, the responses you will get are personal belief and opinion....not nessecarily what your values and expectaions entail, so use them as a basis...but answer them truthfully for yourself and answer them with out the bias of your experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Is it possible to be in love with a person and NOT like them? Is that healthy? Yes, and yes. If someone treats you badly, not abusive or evil, just kind of crass and cold, can you STILL love that person Yes. Is commitment to be abandoned ever? I hope not! Is commitment defined in trouble? I think it is. "I love you, no matter what happens." Healthy When you're in love with someone, you want to see them and will carve time out of your schedule to do that. Healthy You do things for them in hopes that they will be happy because of your actions. Un-Healthy if that's your only reason. You feel that you and the other person "Complete" each other. Healthy You make each other angry sometimes. VERY angry. Healthy, as long as it's only, "sometime". After a while you stop being angry and want to be with them again. Healthy Sex is playful and frequent. Healthy Sex is used as a bargaining tool. Un-healthy "I understand how you feel. I don't blame you one bit for feeling like you do. If I were in your position, I'd feel exactly the same way." Healthy "What's important to me is that you're happy, I can take care of myself." Un-healthy Becoming outwardly sad and angry after an unexpected breakup. Healthy Being frightened after an unexpected breakup. Un-healthy Typing all these statements. Do you feel better? Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Is it possible to be in love with a person and NOT like them? Is that healthy? I think it's possible to Love someone but NOT be IN Love with them.. and I also think it's "normal" to Love someone but not always like what they do. If someone treats you badly, not abusive or evil, just kind of crass and cold, can you STILL love that person? Yes I think you can still Love that person.. but again maybe not like what they are doing.. Is commitment to be abandoned ever? The only committment I feel I PERSONALLY have is to my little people.. and NO I would never abandon that. Is commitment defined in trouble? I'm not sure what this means... Now for some statements... Healthy or Unhealthy "I love you, no matter what happens." >> I don't know if it's a matter of being healthy or unhealthy.. more just unrealistic.. When you're in love with someone, you want to see them and will carve time out of your schedule to do that. >> Healthy You do things for them in hopes that they will be happy because of your actions. >> Healthy to a point.. good to want to do things for them.. but not so healthy to have "expectations" that they will also give you what you desire based on what you've done. You feel that you and the other person "Complete" each other. >> IMO Unhealthy.. You make each other angry sometimes. VERY angry. >> Again I don't know if it's a matter of healthy or unhealthy.. Its a matter of fact.. just the highs and lows of realtionships. After a while you stop being angry and want to be with them again. >> Healthy Sex is playful and frequent. >> Yay for sex! Healthy Sex is used as a bargaining tool.>> No not healthy "I understand how you feel. I don't blame you one bit for feeling like you do. If I were in your position, I'd feel exactly the same way." >> Healthy if you mean it.. "What's important to me is that you're happy, I can take care of myself.">> Unrealistic IMO there are times we all need/want our SO to take care of us.. Becoming outwardly sad and angry after an unexpected breakup. >> NORMAL.. Again I can't say healthy or unhealthy Being frightened after an unexpected breakup. >>Ditto here.. Normal Typing all these statements. >>VERY HEALTHY Hope you're feeling better MA Link to post Share on other sites
Pocky Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 I don't think there is a definite answer for any question regarding relationships. Everything is based per situation and I don't think a general answer can apply to every similar situation. Not poo-poo'ing your survey. I just think it's unrealistic and doesn't accurately depict issues found in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MassiveAtom Posted January 27, 2005 Author Share Posted January 27, 2005 Is it possible to be in love with a person and NOT like them? Is that healthy?>>>>>>>>>>>>>YES,, part of the process. NO, it's not healthy. Ultimately it gets very hard. If someone treats you badly, not abusive or evil, just kind of crass and cold, can you STILL love that person. YES, and it's unhealthy. Is commitment to be abandoned ever? Currently changing my mind here. Is commitment defined in trouble? ABSOLUTELY. Now for some statements... Healthy or Unhealthy "I love you, no matter what happens." Depends on the circumstances When you're in love with someone, you want to see them and will carve time out of your schedule to do that. HEALTHY - You do things for them in hopes that they will be happy because of your actions. UNHEALTHY, TERRIBLY UNHEALTHY. You feel that you and the other person "Complete" each other. AGAIN, REALLY UNHEALTHY, but it might just be semantics with Moose. "Hey Moose, keepin those boys in check?" You make each other angry sometimes. VERY angry. EXTREMELY HEALTHY, After a while you stop being angry and want to be with them again. HEALTHY Sex is playful and frequent. I'm with you Merin, YAY SEX! HEALTHY! Sex is used as a bargaining tool. UNHEALTHY "I understand how you feel. I don't blame you one bit for feeling like you do. If I were in your position, I'd feel exactly the same way." HEALTHY. "What's important to me is that you're happy, I can take care of myself." UNHEALTHY Becoming outwardly sad and angry after an unexpected breakup.HEALTHY Being frightened after an unexpected breakup. HEALTHY Typing all these statements. REALLY, REALLY HEALTHY. Still, when it gets quiet. Boy do I feel sad. Link to post Share on other sites
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