Oswald Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Right, first time I've ever done this, don't like to talk feelings normally, but as I've not discussed this with anyone I figured I might give it a go. Been with my girlfriend for 4 years, throughout most of that time we've both been out of work and poor, so we decide it's time to start our own business together and get our lives moving in a more positive direction. To this end we seek advice on starting a new business, this includes advice from an independent business coach we met while visiting a job fair, we were still looking for work too at the time. Always wanting a little more responsibilty, I allow my girlfriend to handle contact with this business coach. We meet the guy at some point and it does not escape my notice that he gave her a rather inappropriate kiss on the cheek, not much, just felt wrong, a bit later she giggled like a schoolgirl at something he said, which was out of character. Needless to say I was suspicious from this point, and after about a week she went to stay at her sister's and met up with the guy. After he did what he needed to do in the back of his car he cut all ties and went back to his wife. Not long after this my girlfriend starts talking to me again and wants to continue where we left off (she basically stopped talking to me throughout the time she was talking to him). Now bare in mind we always had a no cheating rule because we've both had this in the past, and that she denied everything before it happened, and that her sister covered for her, do I try again with her or not? I do still love her, but I don't know if that will last or if I can forgive her. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Your girlfriend is a lying skank. You would be much better of if you divorced her and found true love with a woman who is a monogamous type of gal. There is almost no real hope and joy in the relationships where cheating is involved. Only polygamists and those who don't thrive in monogamy do well in these type of situations. You want to be devoted to one person. Find a woman who wants the same and has the self control to keep her legs shut around other men. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Sorry dude, it's time to move on. You said it yourself you BOTH had a no cheating clause in your relationship. That was the dealbreaker for each of you. Well, she broke the deal. And this wasn't an accident or being caught up in the moment. This was planned. She planned to be away at her sister's to meet up with this guy. She also got her sister to cover for her while this happened. If this wasn't planned, then her sister would have been clueless as to what was going on. Therefore, she put more of a value to meet up with this guy and sleep with him OVER you and your relationship. Time to move on, but before you do, you need to blow this guys world up! If he works for any business firm or is contracted for any business firm for consultations on their behalf, you need to report this guy to their HR department and inform them that he's screwing his clients. Then, you need to inform this guys wife. She has every right to know what kind of guy she married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 She jumped ship, the ship sank, now she wants to come back aboard. Screw that. She will do the exact same thing again as soon as some random guy shows her attention again because she lacks self control and she doesn't actually care about YOURE FEElings, but only how wet her panties get when she gets attention. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I wouldn't continue the romantic relationship. If you formed a business together I would talk to accountants & lawyers about the viability of continuing a commercial enterprise. However if you still run a business together you will have to deal with her on a daily basis & that will be next to impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
GoreSP Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Right, first time I've ever done this, don't like to talk feelings normally, but as I've not discussed this with anyone I figured I might give it a go. Been with my girlfriend for 4 years, throughout most of that time we've both been out of work and poor, so we decide it's time to start our own business together and get our lives moving in a more positive direction. To this end we seek advice on starting a new business, this includes advice from an independent business coach we met while visiting a job fair, we were still looking for work too at the time. Always wanting a little more responsibilty, I allow my girlfriend to handle contact with this business coach. We meet the guy at some point and it does not escape my notice that he gave her a rather inappropriate kiss on the cheek, not much, just felt wrong, a bit later she giggled like a schoolgirl at something he said, which was out of character. Needless to say I was suspicious from this point, and after about a week she went to stay at her sister's and met up with the guy. After he did what he needed to do in the back of his car he cut all ties and went back to his wife. Not long after this my girlfriend starts talking to me again and wants to continue where we left off (she basically stopped talking to me throughout the time she was talking to him). Now bare in mind we always had a no cheating rule because we've both had this in the past, and that she denied everything before it happened, and that her sister covered for her, do I try again with her or not? I do still love her, but I don't know if that will last or if I can forgive her. It is up to you to decide if you want to 'sacrifice' 4 years of otherwise (I assume) good relationship over this. FYI I quoted sacrifice because I personally she sacrificed the relationship first but anyways... Please keep in mind that if she did it once and you forgive here, there is a good chance she will consciously or not know she got away once. This could very well happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 So far this one is unanimous - dump her on her well-worn ass! I do like the term "skank", but for her it should be "evil, back-stabbing, disgusting, skank-whore". Link to post Share on other sites
thummper Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 You seriously even have to consider what to do? You'll never be able to trust her again. She's not worth your time. Tell her to buzz off. Maybe her MM will get bored with his wife, and want to "bore" her again. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 what do you maen you GF didnt speak to you when she was with him? so she dumped you and the slept with him? I dont understand. You said her sister covered for her. So did she tell herself about sleeping with him? How do you know anything at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oswald Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 The week prior to visiting her sister she became increasingly distant, telling me that she didn't feel well. She then went to her sister's for a few days and her sister agreed to let me know how she was, all I got was she says she's not happy, no mention of her going out to meet some guy a few hours after I drove her over there, she herself stopped talking to me then, didn't have the guts. I know what happened because upon talking to me again she decided honesty was best and told me, a bit late I thought, if she hadn't I probably wouldn't be on here. She's going with the idea that it was a mistake and she shouldn't have fallen for his crap. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 The week prior to visiting her sister she became increasingly distant, telling me that she didn't feel well. She then went to her sister's for a few days and her sister agreed to let me know how she was, all I got was she says she's not happy, no mention of her going out to meet some guy a few hours after I drove her over there, she herself stopped talking to me then, didn't have the guts. I know what happened because upon talking to me again she decided honesty was best and told me, a bit late I thought, if she hadn't I probably wouldn't be on here. She's going with the idea that it was a mistake and she shouldn't have fallen for his crap. She cheated on you and broke the rule. The damage is done, I know that you love her but the trust was broken and therefore the relationship failed. Don't give her another chance because she will do it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I suspect she'll cheat again when there's an opportunity. This wasn't even a guy she has known for a long time or something. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Expose the POS to his wife, this may not be his first rodeo and she needs to protect herself from STD's. There needs to be consequences for breaking up a relationship. He breached his trust as a coach and this too needs to be disclosed to the proper associations that endorse his business so other couples don't fall for the same crap. Get yourself tested for STD's, some take 6 months after the act to show up. They always lie about using protection and besides, there are many ways to get an STD. She stepped over a line that she can't return from. They planned to deceive you, it was premeditated and not something that just happened. It happened within hours of being away from you. She can't even use being drunk as an excuse. My advice is to walk, if she can plan to deceive you before your married what will she be doing to you in year 12 when some of the excitement has left the relationship. She got to ride her cowboy now she wants to be back with you until the next cowboy comes along. They say the second time is easier to do(they already dealt with the moral issue the first time) so if your inclined to give this cheater a second chance have her sign a post nuptial agreement giving you everything. If loving you and her word aren't enough to stop her from cheating maybe a financial loss will be. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Leave this skank alone. She will cheat again the next time a man barely gives her attention. I can't believe you would even think of getting involved with her again. It's spring and there are lots of women running free. Why settle for yesterdays garbage. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 (edited) Bear in mind that there has probably been other stuff happening behind your back. Your saying that you love her but it don't sound like shes returning that love and loyalty. Id concentrate on your career and get a new girl. Edited March 21, 2014 by giblesp Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Seems like you got all the advice you need here. Not sure how you could justify seeing it any other way. She planned it , executed the plan, and got what she wanted. All with a guy she hardly knew. That shod show you where you stand. If you can't see that no one here can help you. If you stay with her you better buy some spying equipment because you can certainly expect more of the same. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I know what happened because upon talking to me again she decided honesty was best and told me, a bit late I thought, if she hadn't I probably wouldn't be on here. She's going with the idea that it was a mistake and she shouldn't have fallen for his crap. You wrote before that he was the one who ended this and got back to his wife. Yet I dont understand - All you know is what she told you. so what exactly did she tell you? That she slept with him once, he ended it and then (and only then) she she realized its a mistake???!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oswald Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 Thank you for the feedback you guys, must admit you are basically backing up my own thoughts. @lolablue17 that's pretty much it, yes it has occurred to me that she wouldn't even have spoke to me again if he left his wife. Link to post Share on other sites
fancy feast Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Agree with the others here. Kick her to the curb, and expose this POS for what he is. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 Back of a car, eh? Sounds like a classy broad. She chose him over you, he didn't want her, now she wants you back because she's afraid to be alone. Do you really think she deserves you back? And even if you do think that, if you do take her back, she'll forever see you as a safety net, a place where she can have a soft landing any time the next guy decides to hit-her and quit-her. Link to post Share on other sites
ffsear Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 After he did what he needed to do in the back of his car he cut all ties and went back to his wife. Make sure his wife finds out! Ruin him! Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Right, first time I've ever done this, don't like to talk feelings normally, but as I've not discussed this with anyone I figured I might give it a go. Been with my girlfriend for 4 years, throughout most of that time we've both been out of work and poor, so we decide it's time to start our own business together and get our lives moving in a more positive direction. To this end we seek advice on starting a new business, this includes advice from an independent business coach we met while visiting a job fair, we were still looking for work too at the time. Always wanting a little more responsibilty, I allow my girlfriend to handle contact with this business coach. We meet the guy at some point and it does not escape my notice that he gave her a rather inappropriate kiss on the cheek, not much, just felt wrong, a bit later she giggled like a schoolgirl at something he said, which was out of character. Needless to say I was suspicious from this point, and after about a week she went to stay at her sister's and met up with the guy. After he did what he needed to do in the back of his car he cut all ties and went back to his wife. Not long after this my girlfriend starts talking to me again and wants to continue where we left off (she basically stopped talking to me throughout the time she was talking to him). Now bare in mind we always had a no cheating rule because we've both had this in the past, and that she denied everything before it happened, and that her sister covered for her, do I try again with her or not? I do still love her, but I don't know if that will last or if I can forgive her. Your girlfriend doesn't love you one bit, so you need to leave her. You might still love her, but she doesn't love you. This wasn't a mistake, she didn't accidentally end up in bed with another man. She chose to sleep with another guy. If you have any self respect and want to maintain any dignity, I urge you to leave her. If you take her back, you are basically saying "please continue to walk all over me". It will be guaranteed she cheats again. What happens if the next guy doesn't get bored with her? Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Oswald, you'd have to be an idiot to stay with this cheating skank. I don't think you want to be an idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
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