whos wrong..i really need to understand why...

[s.loks1622]

OK, so this is going to be kind of a long story.........ive been with my boyfriend for 3 going on 4 yrs in August. we had met through my uncle(hes my uncles BEST friend,theyre like brothers), well around the time we met, we both had gotten out of relationships like a few months before. when we finally did get together, we got to know more about each other. one of his big problems with his last relationship was that his ex never accepted his friends, was always trying to separate him from his homies, trying to change him for who he really was, etc..so he told me that it would be nice if i could be cool with his homies.

 

So as months went by, our relationship was great. you know how after like 6 months in a relationship is when that "perfect" stage of the relationship is starting to come to an end, well for us it was still great. i moved in with him after 4 months and i got to know his family. we were happy for a whole yr. then now comes ONE of my problems..i should have mentioned that hes an only child. so im sure just by that, its obvious to say he was a mamas boy. and honestly that wasnt a problem for me. it was a problem for HIS mom. i dont want to talk **** because it really isnt talking ****, but his mom is OBSESSED with him.

 

At first we got along and i have always been respectful to her, never have raised my voice at her or call her names, or anything. always offered to do anything in the house: cook, clean, etc..and she wants everything done her way and claimed that i wouldnt know how to do this or how to do that even though i asked her to show me her way and so she always refused my help or said that she was too tired at that time to show me. ok fine. anyways being a mamas boy, she hands him anything. pays any bills hes late on. fixes his car if it needs fixing. anything he needs, she swipes her credit card. my boyfriend will tell her he will pay her back and she ALWAYS tells him not to worry about it hes her son its her job to take care of him. BUT THEN.! any time she gets mad at him for WHATEVER reason, she brings up all the times she has paid anything for him and tries to put the blame on me claiming that he never has money because IM the one thats spending all his money. calling me a golddigger.! claims that im using him..all kinds of crazy ****.!

 

So its obvious shes jealous of me....so during the time when she started showing her true colors, i didnt feel so comfortable being home all the time. like it was ackward and id be in my room all day til my bf would come home and i got tired of it so after some time i started to go and kick it with the homies and if some had their ladies id kick it with them too. and everyday i would tell my bf how my day went, always told him who i kicked it with and so forth. little by little he started giving hints that he was getting a lil jealous about me kicking it. to me i didnt understand why, when he wanted me to be cool with his homies.

 

As time went on, we moved out of his moms, moved to my moms for a bit, by our 2nd going on 3rd yr of being together is when we got our own apt in the st where we would always kick it with the homies. thats when people started coming over to the house ever more cause we were the only ones who had our own spot with no parents etc...and thats when my bf and i started having even more problems. he didnt want me kicking it with anyone and was saying that i was disrespecting him by having people over. the whole 9 yards. then starting thinking that i was cheating on him with our homies, because according to him i was "too" cool with everyone.

 

So i started lying to him about the times when i was still kicking it, and he had a feeling i still was and would ask me but since i didnt wanna fight i would lie. either way there was ALOT of arguing. well i ended up getting incarcerated for 6 months. my bf would come visit me. but he was still believing that i had cheated on him before i went to jail and kept saying that he was hurt from me disrespecting him and all that. obviously we were gonna have a talk when i was gonna get out. well i got out and i guess we had moved back to his parents house. well i ended up finding out all the **** he was doing when i was in jail. it started when i found some girls clothes mixing in with my clothes in my drawer, when i asked why would her clothes even be here he told me that she had spent the night a few times cause her parents would kick her out. his mom told me about girls he would bring over late at night to his room.

 

He claimed that they were just "kicking" it. then he did admit to me that he got with a girl who was my friend in OUR room one time only. and he was hanging out with other girls who he thought about getting with but "didnt". then after more time, i found out more and he admitted to me that he was talking the girl "who was my friend" and they had talked about dating while i was in jail. according to him, it didnt go down. but he did still have sex with her. but that was the only time. anyways he claims that everything he did, he did it because of what he felt i had done to him before i went to jail. i think its bull****, everything he did was done because he wanted to do it.

 

I dont believe its my fault for his actions. were trying to work things out right now...but believe me its HARD. im hurt, hes hurt. im pointing fingers cause he cheated, hes pointing fingers cause i was lying.....whos at fault here.? or did we both **** up.??????????