Tildn Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Hi there, I'm new to this forum and need some help! I'm married with 1 kid. My husband is a nice guy but we don't have a great sexual life anymore and he's always busy with work etc.. I never cheated on him and never thought about other guys. Here is the problem. About six months ago I went to a friend wedding and meet this guy. He was there with his girlfriend. I can't explain but we immediately had this strong attraction and look at each other the whole evening. The day after we exchanged phone numbers. We live in different countries but we started texting each other( on and off) and we even ended up sexting once. He texted me one day saying I was in his mind and didn't know what to do? After that he deseappeared for 1 month Hi noticed he left Facebook and asked him why? He replayed saying he needs to sort some things out in his life and texting me is not too good for his sanity...! How would you interpretate this? What does that mean? I m moving back to the country he lives in 5 months. I think of him every day!! Am I crazy? Is it possible to have this special connection/ chemistry? Thanks for your help Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Tell your H and get a Divorce and move on with your life. He probably sees what his future would be like with a woman that would be willing to cheat on her Husband. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thummper Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 You'd better be very, very, very careful here! I can't stress that enough. If this guy is so fantastic (yeah, yeah, I've seen that so many times on this site: The same old cheater's mantra: "But you just don't understand, I think at long last I've discovered my true soulmate" and we just have soooooo much in common. I look at him and just get these butterflies in my stomach.), consider getting rid of your TRUSTING and LOVING husband, and take up with Mr. Wonderful. Otherwise, just let it go. You're playing with fire lady and likely to lose everything that ever meant anything to you: your husband, your home, your marriage, your family, everything you two have worked to build together. Is this guy really worth even contemplating that for so much as a nanosecond? And for God's sake, stop exchanging numbers with other guys you're not married to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Madman81 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 What you do next depends on what you want. Do you want to save your relationship with your husband? If so, immediately cut off all communication with the OM, delete his messages, phone number, email address, and every other way you have of getting in touch with him. Then, tell your husband. Emphasize to him that you have never physically cheated, but that you are feeling neglected, and that this neglect has led you to consider leaving. Tell him that the two of you need to get into counselling, NOW, in order to save the marriage. If that doesn't light a fire under his ass, nothing will. He won't be happy that you cheated emotionally. But at least you will have stopped before things went any further. Do you want to end your marriage? Then do so, now. Tell him it's over and start moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
thummper Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Just curious, Music. If you didn't pick your wife, how'd you two get together and get hitched? Did SHE talk you into it against your will, or what??? No offense meant, seriously, your comment just seemed kinda strange. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tildn Posted March 21, 2014 Author Share Posted March 21, 2014 Thanks for you replies. I know it's not fair what i did but I was more looking for opinions about weather is possible to meet someone and feel this very strong attraction. It never happened before during my marriage and when I was at this wedding I was not expecting this to happen. I would love to know if this guy felt the same...that's it! He doesn't want to be in touch with me anymore.. And I don't understand why. Musik. I agree with you. And I was told the same: you don't pick the person who you are crazy about( talking about attraction, chemistry etc).. But probably the person that gives you more stability and serenity. You can maybe fall in love, but is a different type of love..... Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Your last post seems to indicate that it is really bothering you that you do not know why he doesn't want to become involved with you. Seems to me like if he changes his mind you'd be open to exploring things. Your first post says you are moving back to his country. Is your husband moving back with you?? If you dont get this out of your head before you move back and if your "attraction person" connects with you again, you are headed for big time trouble. The next thing will be an EA if you start to exchange e mails, then texting, and so on down the line until you are in bed with him. You should talk to your husband or a therapist if you cannot just forget this and I think someone else told you as a married woman you should not be giving your contact information out to men that your husband does not have a clue about. That right there says this is a problem waiting to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Phantom888 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I agree with Clay. Tell your husband, start your divorce, and go pursue this man. Then you will realize you just gave up your life over a fantasy. This man is not for you. You can be attracted to him...fine...but you two are living a fantasy scenario that will destroy everything you ever built....mostly your family. If you are okay with that, please continue. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I would love to know if this guy felt the same...that's it! He doesn't want to be in touch with me anymore.. And I don't understand why. You don't understand why? Really?!?! Okay...well. Let's break it down. YOU'RE MARRIED!!!!! HE'S IN A COMMITED RELATIONSHIP!!!! He knows you're married and that is a relationship that is going no where. He's feeling guilty for betraying his girlfriend and he's putting a stop to it before any real damage happens. He doesn't want to feel responsible for breaking up a marriage. That's baggage he doesn't want to carry around. There ya go. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Tildn Read Chi Towns post. Don't know how much clearer anyone could make it for you. My guess is here that if your new found love does not stick to his guns and stay away for you that we will see you on a wayward forum in the future Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted March 27, 2014 Share Posted March 27, 2014 He means he knows pursuing you will end up biting him in the ass. You seem to think you'll ride off happily into the sunset. You're probably wrong. You also said you haven't cheated but it sounds like an emotional affair with sexting and you would have cheated by now but you haven't simply due to lack of opportunity so....maybe you should stop lying to yourself if you really want to get out of this mess intact. Link to post Share on other sites
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