Jay77098 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 All - I would like to open a discussion on the topic of Trust. I would appreciate any and all comments here, as I am in serious need of both perspective and help on this issue. Some background: Many years ago, I dated a woman whom I loved very much. We had met and hit off at a time when she had a boyfriend, so for a long time we were just very good friends. She later broke up with her boyfriend and we started dating. I was very happy in the relationship. After several months of dating, I discovered that she had been seeing her "ex" boyfriend the entire time. She was telling me that she loved me and really wanted to be with me. But the truth was that she was just using me to make herself feel more empowered as she worked things out with the ex. I was devastated and ever since then, I have had serious trust issues. These issues just manifested themselves a couple of weeks ago, when I broke up with a girlfriend in a very ugly manner because I found her profile on Match.com was still active, and she was still on the site regularly. I know that I have serious trust issues and that I acted in haste, without seeking the full story from her. The relationship is damaged beyond repair. My question is this: How do you get yourself back to a place where you can trust again? I am planning on going to professional therapy for this issue, but I would like to hear from everyone on this topic. Thanks, Jay77098 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 Look up the 'More to Life' Foundation sessions. They'd help to get to the root causes of this and help you to re-examine your beliefs and work through feelings in a constructive way. You have had good reason not to trust, but that was one woman. Not all women are untrustworthy and many would find her behaviour reprehensible. The issue is how can you regain some balance over trust. I think the More to Life sessions could help. They are more in-depth than CBT (in my opinion). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jay77098 Posted March 23, 2014 Author Share Posted March 23, 2014 Thanks, spiderowl. I will check that out. Link to post Share on other sites
VeronicaRoss Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 When do you judge the whole human race based on the behavior of a few people? Sounds like you might be diving in without really checking out their character. How did they treat men in their past? How do they talk about their exes, their family? You learn a lot about people listening to how they treat others. But even more from taking the time to watch how they act. Link to post Share on other sites
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